Skipping Your Period vs. Accepting Your Period

You may have noticed my disappearing act this past weekend online, and I’m here to explain why I momentarily vanished. 

I was reading a few articles this morning about skipping your period via hormonal birth control. I tried to do this once, years ago, failed, and decided not to do it again. A) It didn't work, and B) I just don't like the idea of not having my period. 

Many of the benefits people talked about dealt with travel, other big events, and the fact that their gosh darn period always seems to get in the way. 

I am one who always gets my period right before, or during, whatever trip or event is happening that month. And do you know what? It doesn’t phase me in the slightest any more. 

My secret?

Learning to coexist with my period, to appreciate it, and to understand it.

Sounds a little too "frou-frou” for you?   

Well, when I removed the “woe is me, oh period” frame of belief, I learned how accept my period. And when I got removed all of the negativity, I actually started to, dare I say, enjoy it.

I realized that it wasn’t the horrendous nuisance I once viewed it as, and I could go about my day, vacation, or whatever it was (because there’s always something going on) like it were any old regular day. Because that’s what my period became, a normal part of my regular life.

It was no longer the earth-shattering, "No! Not today! Why me?!" event I used to think it was. 

This past weekend I left for San Francisco, on Day 1 of my cycle. Before leaving to jump on a plane, I made sure I had my cup in, period underwear on, and enough to get me through the weekend. Comfort and preparedness is key.  

As for work, I had a VERY short list of things I HAD to get done while I was there, and I kind of let myself forget about the rest. Learning to prioritize tasks during my period is one of the greatest things I’ve done for myself. Realizing that I don’t have to do it all (sometimes even getting it all done ahead of time) makes life on my period go oh so smooth. 

I let myself forget about all of the social media, blogging and emails for those few days. And do you know what? The world kept on spinning around and around.  

Allowing myself to slow down, and even stop, during my period has been one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned. As soon as I stopped pushing myself past the point of necessity, and started listening to my body, my cycle, period, and life in general became much, much easier. 

I remembered my cup, underwear, and forget about everything else, allowing myself to enjoy the moments I found myself in. 

Back at home this week I've felt reinvigorated for my work, and I know this is from my mindset this weekend. 

Start listening to you body. Start asking yourself, “Is this really something that I have to do? Or am I creating mindless busy work for myself?” Allow yourself to slow down in whatever areas need a break, and you might surprise yourself with extra bursts of energy throughout.  

The Power of Hormones

“Once these women begin to understand and restore their hormone balance…they not only realize that their bodies are strong enough to heal themselves, but they learn how to use that power to become the fullest, most potent expression of themselves imaginable." — Alisa Vitti

I’ve been elbow deep in “WomanCode” by Alisa Vitti, and I feel like I can’t suck up the knowledge fast enough! So, of course I have to share some of her magic with you. 

Let’s start by talking about your lady parts. When you hear that term, “lady parts”, what do you think of? Well, maybe you think of a little diagram of your vagina, uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries.

But we’re leaving a lot out. 

She looks at it this way. Your "lady parts" are what help your reproductive system function properly. And there’s more involved here than you know. 

Besides what I’ve already listed above, we can’t forget the hypothalamus, pituitary gland, thyroid, liver, kidneys, pancreas, small and large intestine, lymphatic system, adrenals, gallbladder, breasts, and last but not least, the clitoris.

All of this may be overwhelming, especially when we are often guilty of separating the function of our ovaries, fallopian tubes, uterus, and vagina from the rest of our body. 

Truth is, it’s all connected. You may be thinking, well duh, of course it’s all part of the female body. But I really do think we forget that the body functions together, as one, and if something is thrown out of whack it is only a matter of time before this leads to real trouble. 

For example:

+ 1 in 9 women have PCOS

+ 3 out of 10 women (over the age of 35) have fibroids

+ 1 in 10 women have Endometriosis

+ 13 million American women have an under active thyroid function

+ 1 in 8 couples are infertile 

+ 20% - 40% of menstruating women have fibrocystic breasts

+ 7 million women meet the critera to be clinically depressed

+ every 10 minutes, there are 12 hysterectomies performed in the US 

These numbers are alarming, and yet you hardly hear of these statistics (unless you go searching for them yourself). 

I had no idea how common any of this was until I started hearing your stories, and getting asked question after question about them.

But the greatest thing of all?

You have the power to heal yourself. 

“It’s food that is able to generate the deep changes needed to create speedy improvement of your condition." — Alisa Vitti

[All of the info in this post was taken from Alisa Vitti’s lovely book, “Woman Code”, which I highly recommend it to any female out there. The vast majority of us are suffering, some without even knowing, of hormonal imbalances. And I love her natural, heal yourself, approach.] 

Raw Vegan for the Summer || Shopping List and Two Easy Recipes

No need for a long intro — I get asked all the time what my shopping trips look like, and any time I post a picture, you want to know the recipe — so first a normal shopping list for a week, and I'll end today with two of my current favorites. 

Vegetables

16 oz. spinach 

6 romaine hearts

6 avocados

2 lbs tomatoes

Fruits

3-4 watermelons

1-2 bundles of bananas

1 pineapple

5 lb case of mangoes

10 apples

4 lb bag of frozen fruit

3 lbs grapes 

2 lbs strawberries 

raspberries

Other

2 lbs walnuts

1 lb almonds

2 lbs dates

Raw Tacos

1 avocado, sliced

1 tomato, diced

1 romaine heart, separate leaves

Taco Meat:

1 c walnuts

1 T nutritional yeast

1 tsp curry

salt to taste

pepper to taste

Blend taco meat ingredients in a food processor until it sticks together. Spoon "taco meat” into romaine leaf and top with tomato and avocado. 

Raw Brownie Bites

1 c walnuts

1 c dates

3 T cacao powder

2 T honey or agave nectar

pinch of salt (optional)

Grab a food processor. Throw in walnuts, blend for 10 seconds. Add the pitted dates, blend another 10 seconds. Add remaining ingredients and blend until it sticks together. Roll into balls, and pop in the fridge. I like to top them with raspberries or strawberries. 

Is it just me or is all of that super easy? I enjoy going grocery shopping and creating meals at home. I find that the simpler the food, the fewer the ingredients, the more I love it. I eat when I'm hungry, and can eat and eat until I'm full. No longer do I have to worry about food coma, stomach aches, and the negative effects of processed food. I'm one happy avocado (my spirit animal). 

9 Reasons We Go On The Pill

I doubt I could ever compile a complete list. Maybe after years and years of research, but for today let’s take a look at nine reasons that women go on hormonal birth control:

Avoid pregnancy — Obviously, so let’s just get this one out of the way. But surprisingly nearly half of those on hormonal birth control are on it for non-contraceptive reasons. 

Acne — I feel like this one is pretty high on the list for why girls go on the pill. Often they’ll give a dermatologist a chance to prescribe them with some cream or pills, and when that doesn’t work right away they opt for the pill. And on top of that, women are often terrified of what will happen to their skin when they come off of the pill. 

Irregular cycles — Many women and girls go on the pill to “regulate” their cycles. When in reality most forms of hormonal birth control cancel out their cycle entirely. They don’t ovulate, and that week of blood you still have to deal with every month? It's essentially a fake period, they added those blank pills at the end of the pack to create a withdrawal bleed to make the pill seem “more natural”. 

Menstrual pain/cramps — Ok, let me just say that as I was researching this I stumbled on a kids health site where a 14-year-old girl was asking about ways to help with cramps, and the person answering said to get on birth control pills. Ugh. This was one of the main reasons I went on the pill, and I still had cramps! It wasn't until after I got off the pill and cleaned up my diet that my cramps really calmed down. 

Long periods — This was another one of the reasons I went on the pill as an 18-year-old. I had heavy, long, painful periods. Just like with regulating your cycle, the pill keeps you in a very tight 28-day window. I went from having 9 day periods to 5-7 day periods. Not that big of an improvement if you ask me. I now have 3-5 day periods. 

Heavy periods — Like I said this was another reason I went on the pill. I’ve ruined plenty of underwear in my day, and blown through many a box of super tampons. And do you know what? That didn’t change when I went on the pill. As you've read on the last two, it didn't get better until I switched my diet. 

Endometriosis — Making your period lighter, regular and shorter helps relieve the pain of endometriosis. The most common treatments of Endometriosis are hormones and surgery. I’ve read quite a few stories of women who healed their endometriosis naturally. I know this is wishful thinking from someone who hasn’t suffered from it, but I think there are so many women out there who want options and aren’t given them. 

PCOS — The pill works to treat the symptoms of PCOS by regulating and shortening periods, balancing out testosterone levels, which lead to excessive hair, acne and such. It is also supposed to help with cramps. But while the pill may treat these specific symptoms, it can lower your ability to absorb vital nutrients, vitamins and minerals and kill the good bacteria in your gut, which often makes your cycle, period and general health worse. 

PMS/PMDD — What I’ve learned in the past few years is that a lot of the negative aspects of having a menstrual cycle are actually pointing towards an imbalance inside the body. You can treat these naturally, and quickly you’ll learn that it’s all connected. Doing my own research was an eye opening experience, and I'm here to share all that I've learned with you. 

In the end, many of us would love a quick, easy fix to our problems. But often we have to invest a little bit of time and effort to finding the solution. Honestly, it wasn’t until the age of 20 that I even realized that I could potentially treat my issues naturally. 

I’m a big believer in the freedom to make informed choices. I always recommend doing all of the research you can, read from all viewpoints and then make your own decision. If you look into both natural solutions as well as hormonal birth control, and you end up choosing the pill, that’s your choice. But more and more women are looking for an answer outside of the Pill. 

My senior year in college I finally hit a wall with my digestion issues, depression, and frequent painful UTI’s (and this is only a few of my problems at the time). I started looking at what I was putting into my body. My journey started by going vegetarian in the fall of 2012, vegan after graduating in 2013, and quitting the pill that same summer. It has been a continuous journey filled with a never ending supply of knowledge, love, acceptance and success. 

I want everyone to know that they can take charge of their own health. You are capable and smart enough to find the answers. Approach it with openness, love and the desire to learn. You'll be amazed what you'll get in return. 

My Natural Approach to Acne

Around a month ago my skin started to flare up a little more than normal, noticeably around my forehead. It started around ovulation, yet got surprisingly clear, perfect and glowy around my period.

Now we’re approaching ovulation again, and it’s flared once again, ever so slightly worse than last month. 

Hmm, I thought, I must dig deeper. 

I’m really interested in my gut flora, how I’m digesting food, absorbing nutrients and eliminating waste. Because even though it’s hard to wrap my mind around it sometimes, it’s all connected in there. Which may seem obvious, but to me it is sometimes overwhelming. 

I want to do what I can to naturally help my body, and after researching into it more I’ve decided to add probiotics, digestive enzymes, dandelion root tea and add evening primrose oil to my new acne regime.

Below I’ve taken the time to list some of the benefits of each, in correlation to acne, but their benefits go way beyond that. 

Probiotics: (If you’re interested in the connection between the gut, brain and skin I highly suggest looking into it. It’s fascinating)

-promote a healthy digestive tract and immune system

-reduce inflammation

-reduce levels of insulin-like growth factor 1 (something that drives acne) 

-helps deal with food allergies

-helps absorb skin-essential nutrients, vitamins and minerals

-strengthens immunity against gut and skin harming pathogens. 

Digestive Enzymes:

-help to keep your gut healthy

-aids in breaking down your food

-beneficial for absorption of nutrients

I also drink a glass of water with Apple Cider Vinegar in it each morning, and use it as a toner on my face:

-helps regulate skin (and body’s) pH levels (keeps skin from being too oily or dry)

-keep a healthy, alkaline state

-vitamins A, B1, B2, B6, C and E

-it is antibacterial, anti fungal and antiviral (which is great for acne)

-fights wrinkles and age spots

-removes toxins from skin

I’ve also picked up some Evening Primrose to use topically:

-helps to even out hormone imbalances (I don’t think people realize what a huge impact hormones has on our entire body)

-contains omega 6, which helps eliminate inflammatory skin conditions

-moisturizes and nourishes (I’ve been on the hunt for a natural moisturizer to replace my old ones I’m almost out of)

Now, the final thing that I’ve added is Dandelion Root tea. Firstly, I love the earthy taste of it (I’m drinking a cup right now), but let’s list off some benefits: 

-balances natural bacteria in intestines, and aids digestion

-helps kidneys clear out waste

-helps your liver remove toxins, reestablish electrolyte and hydration balance

-rich in antioxidants

-contains essential fatty acids (and a few other things) that reduce inflammation throughout body

-boosts immune function

Now, I know this is a lot of information, and definitely isn’t a quick fix pill. But I bet you’ve realized by now that I’m not a quick fix pill sort of girl. I’m about digging deep and finding the real problem and treating that naturally. 

I’ve had varying levels of acne from the time I was a preteen. It has been an ongoing journey, where I am continually learning and tweaking my methods. I’ve gone through periods of really bad acne, and really clear skin. For the most part, these past few years I have had really good skin. Currently I just look at it as I’m just going through a patch where there is obviously something that needs to be addressed.

And I’m doing just that.  

A Heartbreaking Trend || Labiaplasty

It was a few years ago that I watched the documentary “The Perfect Vagina”, which follows the story of three girls in the UK wanting to get labiaplasty. 

If I remember correctly this was the first time I had even heard of this procedure.

For those of you that don’t know what it is, a labiaplasty is a surgical procedure where a plastic surgeon removes part of the labia, often for cosmetic reasons.

And I had almost forgotten about the hurt, shame and embarrassment that these women went through, until I read an article on Jezebel today about the increasing interest in labiaplasty for teenage girls.  

Something that hurts my heart, and infuriates me at the same time, is that the large variety of vulvas aren’t celebrated, or even known about. Many think that only a certain type of vulva is the norm, when in reality there is a rainbow of vulvas out there. 

Men worry that their penises aren’t big enough, and women worry that their vulvas aren’t small enough. How messed up is that?

And now, it seems that a prevalent number of teens are approaching their doctors about getting their labia cut off. So much so that the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists have had to issue guidelines on how doctors should approach talking to teens about the surgery. 

I think back to all of the self-conscious concerns I had as a teenager, and now we’re adding our labia to the list?! We need to get cracking on self-love and body literacy my friends. 

So, I want to share some people who are celebrating the diversity in vulvas. Every shape, size and color is beautiful. Your vagina is beautiful and you do not need to be cutting off your labia. 

“I’ll Show You Mine” is a photo book full of non-pornographic images of female genitalia. 

“Cunt Coloring Book” is exactly that, a coloring book full of vulvas, which was originally used for a sex-ed class. 

“What Do You Like About Your Vulva and Vagina? A Poster Project” is a Kickstarter for just that. 

“The Great Wall of Vagina” is an ongoing work of art by Jamie McCartney. 

And let me just end by repeating once more, you are beautiful and your vagina is perfect just how it is. 

Let's Talk About Earth Day

Today I struggled with what to write about, feeling distracted, unconnected and lacking motivation, the desire to curl inside of myself, away from everything around me.  But I’ve settled on a quick little note about what’s been filling up my social media. 

I could sit here and tell you to ditch the tampons and disposable pads, to toss out the packets of pills, rings, patches and so on. To tell you that they’re bad, for not only the environment, but for you. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about our world today. Probably because I’ve seen so many posts talking about less of this and more of that. Think of the planet, think of the future generations, think, think, think...

And I’ve gotten that itch to chime in, but what’s another post to scroll past on your newsfeed going to do? 

It’s hard not to scratch it. I mean, I could sit here and talk about avoiding plastic, having less things and going vegan. I could cite this study and share that video, but I’ve stopped myself over and over again. 

It’s hard to not be too “preachy” when it comes to something you believe so wholeheartedly in, but I’ve learned that when you try to force it on someone who isn’t ready they cringe, backing away, their ears and minds not absorbing what you're saying. 

You have to wait for them to seek out that information for themselves, for them to come to you. 

It isn’t quite a “lightbulb” moment. At least it wasn’t for me. No, it’s more of a never-ending progression. A series of smaller a-ha! moments. And slowly it starts to click, and you wonder how it has taken this long? Why didn’t anyone ever tell me this before? 

I think it’s great that we have a day to celebrate the planet that makes our existence possible, but doesn’t it deserve more than that? 

I wonder this as I am once again distracted, pulled away from what I am doing to stare out at the moon again. It’s a full one if you hadn’t noticed. 

I resisted the urge to scratch at that itch, to chime in, telling myself that I wanted to be more than just another post on someone’s feed. 

And I guess this is me chiming in, picking at that itch in a way, writing a post about not wanting to share a post. Maybe this is my way of patting at that mosquito bite with the pads of my fingers instead of digging in with my nails like I really want to. 

I just want to ask that you go on to seek out more information, to continue to learn, and never stop searching for the answers. There’s plenty of stuff being thrown your way, screaming for attention and recognition. You just have to sift through as much as possible, to read from both ends of the book, but in the end it’s your choice. So, make sure it's an informed one. 

Why I Went Camping on the Heaviest Days of My Period

It wasn’t something I planned out like, “Oh, well next week I’ll be on my period, what a swell time to go camping.” 

No, my boyfriend threw the idea out there, and without even thinking about the fact I’d be on my period I said yes. 

There used to be a time in my life where I would try and plan around my period, and yet big events and vacations always seemed to fall on the same week as my period. 

The mental switch from thinking my period was some stupid nuisance that I had to “deal” with once a month to now seeing it as this really neat cycle that my body goes through has really opened me up to plenty of new opportunities. 

Being able to say yes more often instead of making up excuses as to why I can’t do something is very freeing. 

Once you get over that hump of hesitation you realize, “Hmmm, well this really isn’t so bad is it.” 

So, let’s talk about camping on your period and how I did it. 

During the night we pull off and camp, but during the day we hung out in the different towns exploring and such, so I had access to actual bathrooms then. But I have no qualms with hopping outside and going to the bathroom, something you've got to do when camping.

It was beyond calm and relaxing, which is just what I needed for this phase of my cycle. And I don’t quite know what it is about being outside, listening to the rain or the birds chirping that reconnects me with nature. I just find myself feeling much more drawn to nature around my period.  

What You Should Bring:

+A Menstrual Cup (forget about dealing with disposables and what to do with them)

+Period Underwear or Reusable Pads (backup that you don’t have to worry about disposing of)

+Reusable Water Bottles/Jugs (one for drinking and a few for washing hands, dishes, period underwear/cups that you can refill)

+A Small Tub (rinse out underwear or pads in if you’re not going to be around an actual bathroom)

+Soap or Hand Sanitizer (keep those hands clean)

+Comfy Clothes (tight clothes make cramps/bloating worse)

The moral of the story here is that you don’t need to, and shouldn’t, cancel trips, events, etc. because you’re going to be on your period. You just need to bring a few extra things along, that’s all.  

No PMS || Fluctuations & Thougths In My Luteal Phase

The Luteal Phase is the last phase before your menstrual phase begins. It is often marked by a decline in stamina and energy as your approach your period. 

Well, today is cycle day 27 for me, and I’m positively jazzed with energy. 

And this somewhat surprises me because I started this phase feeling somewhat lethargic, even lacking motivation at times, which is usually the norm for me.  

I have also been in a fantastic mood lately. Not that I always become a bear before my period, but normally I am much more sensitive, irritable and just more emotional in general at this point. 

According to Miranda Gray, author of “The Optimized Woman" (who calls this phase the Creative phase):

“…with its drive and energy, we can experience the amazing ability to pull concepts out of the ether, make connections, passionately communicate our beliefs, ideas and designs, and run with an idea so far outside of the box that people can’t keep up."

She also reminds us that while it is so often seen as a negative phase of our cycle it’s actually “a powerful phase for change, growth and healing."

I like what you’re saying Miranda. 

Most people think of PMS when they think of this point in the cycle. But I have been experiencing zero PMS this time around. 

In fact, I’m very curious if that "lack" is due to my change in diet. Have I rid myself of PMS? Could it really be as simple as fruits, vegetables, beans and nuts?  It’s probably too early to tell, but I will be keeping track of this.

If you couldn’t tell already I am very interested in the correlation between nutrition and the menstrual cycle. I think that curiosity comes from believing for so long that the solution to menstrual woes was a packet of little blue pills. 

But it’s not, as many of us have found out, or are slowly starting to realize.

The solution to your menstrual issues are out there. They just may not be what you were led to believe. But they could be a quick fix or an ongoing process. 

It just takes time, information and dedication to solving what’s troubling you. 

Oh, and a little bit of hope. Don’t forget about that.  

Raw Vegan for the Summer | 3 Week Update

Nutrition plays such an integral role in our health, and has a big impact on our menstrual health as well. 

But for some reason we think that making the switch from a diet of processed junk food to whole food is a hard one, that it's too expensive, too time consuming, etc. 

I've wanted to try raw vegan since I went vegan in 2013. But back then I thought it would be too hard, too expensive, that I wouldn't be able to eat enough bananas, etc. But something recently got into my mind, and I thought, screw all that, it's something you want to do, to reboot yourself into a healthy vegan diet (because there is a lot of processed vegan junk food options) so do it. 

I told myself I wanted to be ready to start April 1st, but I really actually started March 24th.

Since then I’ve had three cooked meals: green curry, pizza and pad thai (all were vegan). Does this cancel it all out? Nah, I don't think so. I'm still moving forward. I just like to be honest.   

I have nearly eliminated coffee, but still have a social cup once a week, and allow myself tea. I don’t start my day with either and no longer rely on caffeine for that once much needed boost. 

Detox

This has taken me back to when my body detoxed when I went vegan originally. 

At first I was sleeping much more than normal, and felt a little drained of energy at times.

I found myself a little moody and irritable, but I don’t know if this was related to my switch in diet.  

I’ve been pooping multiple times a day (TMI? I don’t believe in it). I feel like I’m really clearing out. Before I changed my diet back in college I thought my once a week poop was normal. I can’t imagine only pooping once a week now!

Oh, and the gas, let's not forget about the farts I've been having. Room clearers I like to say. 

Positives

I no longer feel that 2 p.m. slump I used to get, and overall I feel more energetic. 

Eating whole foods really gets me motivated to exercise, which then makes me crave more fruits and veggies. I’m feeling much leaner and I attribute that to no gluten in my diet. When I went vegan originally, I also went gluten free. Now, I don’t have celiacs or probably even an allergy to it. I just know I function, and feel lightyears, better when I avoid it.  

My skin is clearing up from where it was when I started (I had gotten quite a few pimples on my forehead when normally I will only get one or two). 

There’s a great vegan/raw vegan community online. There are recipes for almost anything! I’m loving raw tacos and raw vegan chocolate torte.

Realizations

1. I really, really missed cooked food at first....or so I thought.

It was like as soon as I told myself I couldn’t have it, my mind was like “But but but I want it!" I started imagining cooked food as super comforting. But I had this realization when I had green curry and I was a 1/4 of a way through it before I went, “Wait Victoria! This is what you thought was so fantastic, warm, soothing, etc. and you didn’t have a big wow moment when you ate it." That really helped me get over that mental challenge, and I really don’t miss “hot” food at this point.  

2. Canned beans are precooked.

I always thought they were just put in the can with some water or whatever that liquid was. 

And my biggest realization....

3. Raw isn't as hard as I thought originally 3 years ago when I wanted to do it. 

If done right it’s around the same as what I spend for normal groceries.

I was really cold at first, but my body has adjusted, and thankfully it’s warmer out. 

I thought I might be hungry all the time. I’m not. I was also worried that I would have to eat piles of bananas and fruit to feel full, but I don’t.

I wondered if I would get enough calories and nutrition. And I’m getting well above my recommended amounts. People still comment that I'm not getting enough, but I've calculated what I need based on my age, weight, height and activity level, and like I said, I'm getting more than enough. 

It is hard to go out and eat, so I avoid it. (I think it’s crazy to spend what they charge for salads when I prefer my salads at home anyways) 

My Conclusion So Far

I feel great!

I really enjoy making meals and feel like I’ve gotten the little kick I’ve needed to get even more fruits and vegetables into my diet and eliminate that processed junk that had crept in.

At this point my goal after this summer is to be mostly raw with the occasional cooked meal, as well as gluten free. I love me some bread, but I know it just doesn’t agree with me.  

A Few Thoughts About Two Cycles — The Menstrual and Lunar Cycle

Seeing that we have just passed through another new moon I’d thought I’d take pause and touch on this today. 

Now, this big, beautiful sky of ours is absolutely fascinating to me, in an almost overwhelming way. It simple amazes me each time I learn something new, leaving me speechless, my jaw somewhere between my knees and the floor. 

But, like I said, it’s overwhelming. There is just SO much that I do not know. Yet, I’m always eager for more.  

I knew the moon had a lunar cycle long before I knew anything really about the menstrual cycle. 

I can’t quite recall when I first read about the connection between the lunar and menstrual cycles, something that is far too hippy dippy for many. But, I don’t know, something about it made sense to me. 

So, like I always do, I began reading, researching and learning more. 

But, there’s no way I can fit in all the wonderful things I have learned today. 

If you were to lay these two cycles on top of one another to mirror the different phases it would look something like this:

For awhile I read that women used to sync to the new moon, meaning that their cycles would start then. I was keeping track of my cycle, watching it creep closer to that ancient pattern before it completely flipped the script, shortening and moving towards syncing with the full moon instead. 

This is when I discovered a book [Red Moon] that talks about the difference between White Moon and Red Moon cycles. 

The White Moon cycle is when you bleed with the new moon and ovulate with the full, and was once seen as the cycle of the “good mother”. 

The Red Moon cycle, which I’ve written about before, is when you bleed with the full moon and ovulate with the new moon. She was once seen as one who moved away from procreation and the material world, and instead towards their own personal development and self-expression. 

Between the two, yeah. I can see why my cycle has oriented towards the latter. 

So, the new moon has passed through, and a few days before that was ovulation for this gal. 

In the past few years, I have felt this need for creativity, that self-expression, and figuring out what exactly I’m meant to do. And I think, ironically, getting in touch with my cycle has made all the difference. 

And I say ironically, because as you can probably guess, that love, that thing that has me waking up excited every day, lies with the one, the only, the menstrual cycle.  

Loving My Cycle Translated to Loving My Body

We’re constantly being told how to be more self-loving, confident and how to "fix" our body image issues. 

But what about those of us that have a distorted image of ourselves and don’t even know it? What if there is one thing that has been so ingrained into us that it’s effecting how we feel about ourselves month to month? 

What I’m getting at here is something I discovered by accident about myself. I always believed I was a happy person, that I “loved” myself, but like a bad relationship sometimes you can’t see clearly until you are on the other side of it all. 

I’m talking about your relationship with your period and menstrual cycle. 

I know, I know, but bare with me. It’s a very odd concept, but will make better sense [hopefully] here in a few minutes. 

I know we’ve come a long way, but it wasn’t that long ago that I was hefting a binder half my size through the sixth grade, and being taught about the reproductive systems.

All I remember from those lesson[s] was there was some complicated scientific happenings inside of me every month, which resulted in a week of blood, before it all started over again.

Who knew I had these mad scientists inside of me just waiting to wreak havoc on me every month! 

Slowly, but surely, all of my friends, and every. other. girl. in my grade got their period. Ah, but not me. 

They were this elite girl club, who go to hide their pads up their sleeves or in their back pockets, and complain of the woes of cramps and period blood. 

They were like superheroes with their nifty gadgets and tales of the battlefield, that a commoner like myself couldn’t understand.  

And I didn’t understand it, I didn’t even know how it really happened or what it meant, but I wanted it — oh I wanted it bad. 

My freshman year of high school was when I was unceremoniously brought into that girl gang of womanhood that I wanted so bad. 

And so began eight years of cramps, bleeding, tampons birth control pills, complaining and hating my period. Why did I have to suffer? It wasn’t fair. Guys didn’t have to deal with any of this. They were so lucky. 

The only conversations I had about periods with other girls were about how much we hated it, what a nuisance it was, and to share our period horror stories. 

A perfect environment to foster hate and disdain for something. 

Something that was so perfectly part of who we were. 

Now, let’s step back and think of a few other things, things we often only focusing negative thoughts and emotions about. For many girls that’s their body shape, for others it’s their acne. 

Never in my life have I fixed anything with hate. Not once. 

Now, I’m not telling you that you can fix something with just thinking positive thoughts alone. But I wholeheartedly believe that positive thoughts bring about positive actions. 

If you hate your body are you going to focus on nurturing it with healthy foods and getting out and being active? Mmmm, maybe, but you’re going to be annoyed that your body is the reason you can’t enjoy the bad food.

When you hate your acne isn’t it just so much easier to pick it apart then to love it? Yes, I’ve seen it with myself and with many girls throughout my life.

So, when you hate your period, and find it unnecessary are you going to search for the positives of having a menstrual cycle or how you can heal your menstrual woes? Probably not. You’re going to continue complaining, “Ugh, I’m having the worst freakin’ cramps and I’m going through super tampons like no one’s business!” 

It takes some time to reverse this thinking. It takes time, love and information. 

Building a better relationship with your menstrual cycle seems like such an abstract luxury, but I promise the positive effects spread throughout all other aspects of your life. 

Instead of grabbing at a saddlebag, invisible to everyone else’s naked eye but mine, I now look at my body in awe of what it is able to do. 

Instead of whining about cramps and a heavy cycle I have healed both to a manageable level with nutrition. 

Instead of picking apart my face I have learned to leave the pimple alone, Victoria. 

I understand why my body does certain things and I am positively fascinated by it. 

And I hope to help whoever wants to get to this same level of body literacy and love too. 

So stay tuned, love. There will be many more posts on this to come.  

Sharing Our Stories

I find your story inspiring. 

In a world of once feeling rather alone in my quest for more knowledge about my body, I am recently overcome with connection, understanding and camaraderie. 

I am reminded that there is such beauty and love in the world, and between “almost” just strangers. Because we haven’t met, have we? Never face to face, but on another level it’s like we’ve known each other for quite some time. 

It’s something that has instantly connected us. 

Being female. 

And once we decide to strip away that caddy competitive nature that we’ve been taught to have as a female, against other females, something quite magical happens. 

And if we can go into first meeting one another in a warm, mutual, welcoming place, rather than comparing and nitpicking each other to pieces, something quite magical happens. 

And oh how wonderful it is to meet someone without judgement. Without a care of whether they are judging you for how your outfit or hair looks that day, or how cool your job sounds, and to just meet as two humans. Two females. To find connection through that. 

So, please, keep sending me your stories, your thoughts, and your ideas. It enriches my days to connect with you, read your words and share a few of my own back with you. To find that I can relate to other girls across borders, languages and ages. 

It is a humbling reality I find myself in. And I find myself not feeling so alone anymore. 

Nutrition, Diet and the Menstrual Cycle

This could be the title of a book, however, I will try to keep it sweet and to the point today, with the very real potential of future posts on this topic. 

At the age of 18, when I struggled with painful cramps and heavy, long periods, I didn’t even give a second thought to the possibility that my diet could be to blame. No, I like so many others, reached for hormonal birth control to ease my discomfort. 

And in my mind, I thought the pill was working, ridding me of all the nuisances of being “female”. But it wasn’t. Oh, buddy it wasn’t. 

I still had cramps, yes my periods lasted 5-7 days [not 9 days] but I flew through super tampons like they were going out of style. 

But by taking the pill I also added depression, anxiety, and a range of negative emotions that I hadn’t experienced before. I suffered from reoccurring UTI’s that I couldn’t prevent to save my life. Yet, I wrote it all off as “normal”. I convinced myself for the longest time that it was all just part of the “curse" of being female. 

But, eventually something clicked. I had an a-ha moment of “This. Is. Not. Me.” 

This was around the same time that I had gone vegetarian and was planning on making the switch to gluten-free and vegan. 

I went from pizza, Ben & Jerry’s, cupcakes for meals (yeah, you read that right), energy drinks, and plenty of processed crap, to a diet jammed packed with fruits and vegetables. 

My body detoxed from the pill and the all the awful food I was putting into it. And I came out the other end invigorated for life, full of energy and full of positivity. 

 I think that we forget that we can heal so much from the inside out. We hold the power, the ability to do it ourselves. But no one wants to look at their diet as the root of the problem, they’d rather take some pill to fix it, put the blame on something other than themselves. But I can assure you that a better diet has such a broader impact on your life than just your health. 

Going vegan, and really starting to learn about nutrition and what I was putting into my body carried on to fuel my passion for life and to push myself to find exactly what it was I loved doing, and to pursue that with all the vigor I had. 

This isn’t about extreme dieting, starving yourself, or only eating iceberg lettuce. No, no, no darling, this is about opening up a new chapter in your life. My diet has expanded beyond imagine by taking interest in it. And the positive effects ring throughout every aspect of my life.  

If I really start thinking about it, I don't know if I'd be here right now, with FemmeHead if I hadn't taken an interest in my health. Yes, I can say that I and all of this wouldn't be here today. And that, my friends, is a terrifying thought to me. 

Common Misconceptions of the Fertility Awareness Method

I won't name names, but a gal said something to me the other day that made me think, "Right, I need to say something about all of this because there are a lot of myths out there about FAM." Now, there are so many other false beliefs, fears, etc. that I haven't included here today, but these are some that I come across most frequently. 

That it’s the same thing as “The Rhythm Method"

I have to start with this one because I’m still amazed that people think we’re talking about the Rhythm Method here. There are various "methods" under the umbrella of FAM and NFP. The Rhythm Method just happens to be archaic and is based on the assumption that every woman has a 28 day cycle and ovulated on day 14. We know that’s not true, and that's why it doesn't work. Cycles differ and are unique woman to woman. Just please quit thinking of charting your cycles as the Rhythm Method, because it’s not. 

It’s Hocus Pocus, it doesn’t work. 

This is next because people unfamiliar with FAM think "Whelp, she’s going to be pregnant in a matter of months." I’ve been successfully using this method for 3 years now. Effectiveness, WHEN USED CORRECTLY, is 98%. And that’s in all caps because I don’t want to give the misconception that if you take your temperature and check your fluid every day you’ll automatically be safe from getting pregnant. You have to learn, and use, the rules and guidelines that go along with the method. 

It’s hard, there’s too many steps, I don’t have the time. 

When you first learn about charting your cycles, it may seem overwhelming, but just like every other thing you learn how to do, you will understand it clearly over time. It’s something you’re using every day, and for many women it clicks because it’s what makes sense within their bodies. You have to take your temperature first thing in the morning, which is nothing more than just a great excuse to stay in bed for a minute longer. And you check your cervical fluid when you go to the bathroom. It’s not like there are any special trips you have to make or fancy circus performances. It becomes second nature. 

My partner won’t be willing to participate

Many women are curious, want to get off their hormonal birth control, but are nervous about what their partner will think. This is what kept me from getting off the pill at first. I didn’t know if my boyfriend at the time would be willing to work with me on this, and I was afraid of the time it would take me to properly learn the method. But I have found that just about every man, once you explain it to them, is really on board. And I've talked to a lot of guys about it. Contraception should be a two way street, but often it falls on the shoulders of the female. My sister actually scoffed at me when I first told her, and her husband, what I was doing. But it was actually my brother-in-law that convinced my sister to get off the pill. He could see the harm it was doing to her when she wasn’t able to. 

Women aren’t smart enough/responsible enough

People may think, well that’s good for you, but there are plenty of women who aren’t smart/responsible enough to chart their cycles, abstain from sex, use protection when needed. And to this I say, screw you. Seriously, this statement really irks me. Learning about our bodies, our fertility and what’s going on inside of us is something that every female deserves. And if you want to learn about your menstrual cycle, how to chart it and use it as birth control, you go right ahead girl. That’s simply the only qualification you need, the desire to learn. And saying that I think that birth control should be a personal choice of whatever works for that woman. For some, hormonal birth control is what they need/want, and for others FAM is what they want/need. We deserve all of the information on both ends, and then should be able to make our choice. 

It’s irresponsible and stupid to not be on hormonal birth control. 

When people unfamiliar with FAM first learn that I’m not on hormonal birth control, I’ll sometimes get a “What is wrong with you?!” look. Like I’ve said before, it’s been so engrained into us that hormonal birth control is the only responsible way to manage our fertility. But I think what’s silly is not teaching women and girls about their menstrual cycles, their fertility and how to chart and manage it. I think it’s irresponsible to be forced to make a decision without having all of the information. Why is the pill given to so many teen girls who’s bodies aren’t still fully developed. That, my friends, is stupid. 

Well, if it’s so effective and great then why isn’t it taught? 

FAM get’s the cold shoulder when it comes to methods that are prescribed. But here’s the thing, there’s no money in it for doctors or big pharma companies if women all started charting their cycles. I’m sure they’d find a way to profit, but for the time being they make their money when women get on the pill, patch, implant, ring, IUD, etc. But I believe that the innate knowledge of your cycle and fertility should be something that girls are taught going into puberty. They should get their first period, and know exactly what it means and how to know where they are in their cycle. Then, whenever they decide to become sexually active they have the knowledge necessary, to avoid pregnancy. And here’s one for you. I really do believe that if we were teaching young girls about their bodies, their cycles, their sexuality, that this would empower them to the point of taking charge of their bodies, and not hand over the power to a boy who says he knows what she likes or a doctor who says here, take this pill.  

Emotional Spring Cleaning

I’m writing this from my kitchen counter, eyeing the blanket and pillow I have set out on the couch for myself once I complete this. 

The past few days have been emotional, to say the least. My emotions always like to make a very strong appearance around my period.I try to remain grateful that I have the ability to feel so deeply, even when it’s not always on the positive side of the spectrum. 

I have felt run down and tired, which leads to a little bit of resistance and frustration on my end. I like to remain productive, happy and upbeat. I’m learning to let go of this need.

Small things will lead to tears and sometimes you have a breakdown at the end of a yoga class when the weight of all the things start to feel too heavy, too real. That was yesterday. I had a great meditation class, but started yoga and quickly found myself frustrated and upset with those around me. 

And then it happened.

We were on our backs, nearing the end [and my personal favorite part of yoga class, Shavasana] and I was suddenly overwhelmed with sadness, with a feeling of unfairness. Bad things were happening to too many good people in my life, and the weight of that enveloped me right there on my mat. I tried to lay with it, to breathe, to find center again. But I couldn’t. My lips quivered and tears streaked down my face straight into my ears, pooling, giving me the sensation of being underwater. I wondered if the women next to me could hear the escaped whimpers, if I should just get up and walk out. 

Emotions are a very real part of the menstrual cycle, yet we’re told not to feel them. I’m a deeply emotional person, yet struggle to show them to others. [Coincidence?] It takes practice remaining grateful for the very high highs, and the very low lows. I wouldn’t want to live life on some middle ground between emotions because beautiful things flower and grow from both ends of that spectrum.

Leading up to our periods, and while they are happening we are given a “superpower” if you look at it in a certain light. We are given clearer access to our subconscious minds, and things will bubble up that have been suppressed over the past month (or longer). This is a great time to allow [*force] yourself to sit with them, to reflect on your life, your path and your focus. This is the perfect time to weed out the unnecessary in your life. 

So, with that, I think it’s time to let myself go lay on the couch and do a little emotional spring cleaning.  

A Note To My Younger Self

To My Dearest Unknowing Young Victoria, 

Here are ten things that I wish someone would have told you. I know it would have really relieved a lot of worry and anxiety for you.

1. Blood comes in various colors, ranging from brown to red to pink to an almost purple.

2. If all of your friends have their periods but you don't, there’s nothing wrong with you.

3. There’s more options out there than just disposable pads and tampons.

4. Most guys really aren’t that freaked out by periods, no reason to hide it.

5. Hormones and periods are a good thing, no need to hate on them.

6. Every female has this thing called a menstrual cycle, kind of like the lunar cycle.

7. You’re only fertile around five days each month, guys are the ones fertile 24/7.

8. It’s ok to get sad and tired and happy and angry all at once during the end of your cycle.

9. Tampons can't get lost inside of you, your vagina is not a black hole.

10. Just by yourself you can tell whether you’re fertile or not and control your fertility.

I know it’s a lot to digest right now, but keep this list near, and refer back to it as needed. 

All My Love, 

Victoria  

The Journey Choosing the Menstrual Product for You

Here I will share the evolution of my menstrual products. And I’m telling you because I think everyone has their perfect product or combination of products, but you have to test them out, tweak them, and figure out what’s right for you. 

I grew up thinking there were only two ways to “manage” your period — you started with pads and then you graduated to tampons. And that was that. 

I got my first period at the age of 14. I didn’t even hear of any alternatives to disposable pads or tampons until I was in my third year of college. 

I can’t recall when or how, but I was eventually introduced to the knowledge that something called menstrual cups existed. 

Looking further into them and how they worked had me squirming in my seat. 

Blood collecting where?! But it could spill everywhere.

Insert it how? What do you mean I would have to go near my vagina with something other than a safe plastic applicator?

I baulked in a class that such things existed. A classmate piped in, “Yeah, haven’t you heard? They’re really not that big of a deal. I’ve used one.” [Obviously these weren’t her exact words, but it’s the gist of it]. 

A few years later and I’m an avid cup user. I’ve got a collection inside of an old tea box in the second drawer to the right in my bathroom. 

I think alternate period products are gaining more popularity, but maybe I don’t have a clear judgement because I’ve entangled myself into the menstrual community. But someone has to do it!

So, I’m going to take you through all the ways in which you can beautifully coincide with your period once a month. Well, all the ways I’m currently aware of. 

We’re all know of disposable pads and tampons. So much so that I’m not even going to bother in going over them. You’ve heard of them. 

Moving along, let’s touch on menstrual cups. We’ve all heard of them. They’re a great alternative to tampons if you’re not into the waste produced by tampons or all of the chemical housed in those little cotton wads. They’re great for swimming, sports, and you can sleep in them. They last up to around 10 years, if cared for properly. 

Next, let’s talk about reusable pads, a somewhat up and coming alternative to disposable pads. Often they’re made out of cotton and other fabrics meant to absorb without irritating. 

Lesser known on the list are sponges. Now, these aren’t your run of them mill sponges used to wash dishes. Nope, often they’re sea sponges that are used much like tampons, worn inside your vagina to absorb, be removed, rinsed and reinserted. Although you’re creating less waste then if you were using tampons, the sponges do deteriorate over time and have to be replaced more frequently than say a cup. I struggled with the process of inserting and removing them. So, in the drawer they remain for now

And my newest discovery? Period underwear. Wait what? Isn’t that like a diaper? Not in the slightest.

I’m going to let you in on a secret that I don’t think many women talk about. I leak. I leak a little bit of blood no matter what I use. Tampon, cup, sponge, doesn’t matter. My solution was always extra thin panty liners. But I absolutely detest them. They irritate me to the point of feeling like I’m in the beginning stages of an UTI. 

I tried reusable pads, and will try them again, but thus far they have been too bulky for me, and I haven’t gotten a good cleaning system down. 

But these period panties?? Pure menstrual magic. 

I normally have a few days of light spotting before and after my period, and there are three days of normal bleeding. 

Now, instead of having to wear those pesky disposable liners or wear my cup when I really don’t need it, I can just slip into my undies. Not only am I covered with just them on my light days, but I can use them as my back up to my cup when I have a heavier flow. 

And that’s that. This is where I’m at in my menstrual product journey. I’m curious to see if there are any more inventions for us ladies in the future, or just improvements on the products we have.  

[The RubyCup has been my go to cup, check it out here with my affiliate link.]

When I Got My First Period

I thought for sure I was some infertile freak. 

Everyone had gotten their period. Everyone it seemed but me. 

I didn't even know what to expect. But I wanted it. I wanted it to come so I would be normal. 

And when it came I didn't even realize what it was at first. 

Honestly, I thought I had somehow pooped my pants. Yes, that's right. I thought I had somehow pooped my pants at the ripe old age of 14.

The blood was brown, which confused me. It couldn't be my period. Blood was red wasn't it? 

I got it at school, but still went to the Wednesday night church youth group I went to with one of my friends. And I carried on throughout the night like nothing had happened. 

I think I did nothing because I still thought I had pooped myself at this point. And that was embarrassing. 

And looking back I don’t know when it finally clicked. I think it was later that night. I finally had a moment of “Duh, even diarrhea isn’t liquid like this. *lightbulb* Wait! Is this…is this my period?!"

I didn't tell my mom. 

I didn't tell anyone. 

I snuck pads from my older sister's stash, and it wasn't long until my mother came forward and said she knew I had gotten my period. 

There wasn't anything horrific about this experience. I just remember being confused and looking back I realize I had no idea what to expect. No one had prepared me for it. 

I had gone through the 6th grade health class, all my friends had gotten their periods, my sister had hers, my mom obviously had hers, I even had a book from my mom about puberty, and I still didn’t understand it. 

I don't remember a celebration, a congratulations, or anything positive from that first period.

And this is why I’m here. We may not want a celebration at that age, but we deserve some sort of positive acknowledgment, some sense of normalcy to it [hey we’re all in this together], to expect the realities of it, and to feel a sense of excitement, not dread.

I’m not asking ladies to run around carrying uterus flags and posters, but I want women to embrace their cycles instead of hating them. Is that too much to ask for?   

The Power in Talking about Taboo Topics

I see it the same way I think about journaling about things that are running amuck in our minds. If something is really bothering me, making me sad or pissing me off, I let it all out in my journal. 

The mere act of getting it out of your mind, pulling it off of that hamster wheel in your brain, and putting it somewhere else is such a freeing thing. 

A release. 

The thing with “taboo” topics is that EVERYONE already thinks about them. But hardly anyone talks about them. 

I’m talking about menstrual blood, pubic hair, queefing, and all other glorious (sometimes hilarious) aspects of being female. 

Ladies, we need to start talking — talking about what’s going on in our bodies.

Have you ever read something, or heard something, and found yourself going “Oh my God, me too! Me too!!” 

Well, here’s the thing. Almost all of us are experiencing the same things, if not pretty stinking similar.  And just by talking about them, telling other people about them, we open ourselves up to deep, meaningful conversation, connection and potential friendships. 

There’s something powerful about sharing, and opening up. There’s this bonding quality. 

An “I feel you girl!” moment. 

Through out this whole, wild, beautiful journey of mine I have tried to be the one to start the conversation about all things taboo. 

And the reaction has been so positively overwhelming. 

So many “Thank God someone’s finally talking about this!” and “I wish I would have known this when I was 14!” 

And do you know what else? It feels good. It feels so freaking good to talk openly about all things female. 

It’s addicting. 

Therefore, I challenge you to give it a go. That’s right. Get out there and talk about something taboo that’s been on your mind.