Things to Stop Spending Money (or So Much Money) On

Money can be a stressful, awkward topic, or it can be a straightforward one. It all depends on your mindset around it. Avoiding your finances isn’t the answer. 

I love learning about personal finance. So, today I wanted to go through some things you should stop spending money on (or so much money on). 

It’s really just a blog post to get you thinking about where your money is going, and maybe where you can cut back. 

I’ve taken the liberty to split these up into “budget” categories. And there are so many other things you can spend or not spend money on. This is just a sample list to get those brain juices of yours flowing. 

Housing

+ a house/apartment you can’t afford (or barely can)

     - can you downsize, move to a different part of the city?

+ decor/furniture

     - pinterest makes you want to throw everything out and buy all new things

     - get creative and thoughtful about what you fill your space with

     - thrifted, second hand are great options

     - shop around and buy for longevity

+ leaving lights/electronics on

     - small but it adds up

+ keeping your air/heat too high

     - if it’s 90 degrees outside and you have your air cranked so high that you have to wear pants and a sweater inside you can probably turn it up a few degrees

+ one use/disposables 

     - this one doesn’t really have a category, but if you’re using paper towels, dryer sheets, plastic utensils or paper plates seriously consider using a reusable, more sustainable option (you’ll save a lot of money too)

Food

+ eating out

     - duh, we know this one adds up, but it’s such an easy way to cut back on how much you’re spending

+ getting coffee

     - $5 drinks every day adds up quickly, even though at the time it doesn’t seem like much

+ bottled water/soda/drinks in general

     - once again, adds up quickly, carry around your own reusable bottle

+ overbuying groceries/ letting them go to waste

     - this is just a lack of planning, don’t go shopping without a well thought out list made from what you actually plan to cook for meals that week. 

Personal

+ getting your nails and hair done

     - do your nails at home

     - go to a cheaper salon

     - stop dying your hair

+ clothes

     - buy second hand

     - adopt a capsule wardrobe

     - minimalism is a beautiful thing

+ gym/class membership

     - I’m not saying don’t work out, but why do you have a gym membership you don’t use? 

     - I love love love hot yoga, but I can’t afford that shit

+ makeup/hair products

     - I used to work with this girl who was always worrying about paying for her rent, groceries, you name it, but then would show up with toiletry bags full of expensive makeup from Sephora

+ not taking care of your teeth/health

     - eat healthy, brush and floss

     - yeah there things outside our power when it comes to our health, but there’s so much that is preventable by what we eat and do with our bodies

Entertainment

+ subscriptions you don’t use

     - you’d be amazed how many things we are subscribed too

     - is there a way you can go in on a netflix subscription with a friend or family member?

+ cable

     - we don’t, and have never owned a TV, cable is expensive

+ alcohol/going out to bars

     - I don’t enjoy the bar scene anymore anyways, but working at a bar I was amazed with how much people would spend on going out every single weekend

+ going to the movies

     - is there a cheap movie night in your town, ours is Tuesday

     - rent a movie at home, or one you already own

+ concerts

     - I’m not a big concert goer, but this is another thing that’s an obvious cut for me

Transportation

+ buying a car you can’t afford

     - yes, most people need a car to get to and from work, but there are so many people that get rid of a car that they’ve already paid for to start paying for a new car loan to keep up with everyone around them

+ paying too much for travel/flights 

     - do your research, check out all your options between driving, flying, trains and buses

     - keep you eyes out for a good deal 

+ snacks/food while traveling 

     - I always try to pack some snacks and food when I travel (I’m always hungry), as well as a reusable water bottle

     - If you wait to buy food at the airport or at a gas station, it’s probably neither cheap or healthy 

There are so many ways you can cut back on your spending, many of which I didn’t list here. I think it’s just good to assess your finances and where your money is going regularly. And when you have the cash flow to splurge, go for it. But I’ve known so many people that are living beyond their means and that really stresses me out. 

How do you cut back on your spending? What are some things you’ve stopped spending money on? 

Why I Have $100,000 On My Wall

Last week I wrote a post about lessons I had learned from the book “Get Rich, Lucky Bitch” which I devoured and thoroughly enjoyed. 

One of the glaring realizations was that I had this subconscious belief that I only deserved to make the bare minimum needed to survive. 

But what happens when your goals change, what you want changes? What if a house and a family doesn’t seem so distant? 

The answer: you’re going to need more money. 

I realized that I thought making more money than I “needed” was greedy. That I should only want what I need and nothing more. 

Why set big goals if you have enough now?

Well, I realized it wasn’t about being ungrateful for what I already have. It’s about growing, as a person, as a business, and it’s OK if you desires and goals change. 

It doesn’t take much money for me to support myself at this point in life. I’m pretty proud of that fact, but I also discovered that the idea of making “a lot” of money freaked me out, gave me these weird, cringey feelings that I didn’t like. 

In the book she talks about clients who had the goals of making six figures, seven figures, and each time I found myself a bit bug eyed thinking, “That’s sooo much money!” 

When I thought about what it would be like to make six figures I found myself really uncomfortable with the idea of that much money. 

I’m a far way off from that income goal, but how could I ever expect myself to seek out more money if I wasn’t even comfortable with the idea of making more money. 

Essentially, I was repelling money and opportunities that led to more money because I didn’t think I needed it nor deserved it. I was uncomfortable with it. 

So, I’ve started doing a few things to change my attitude towards making more money. 

One, slightly absurd, thing I’ve done is put “$100,000” on the bottom of my felt letter board that sits on my desk. 

And when I first put it up there I would hide it behind candles, embarrassed that it was even there. But slowly, as I sit down and look at it every day I’m becoming more and more comfortable with it. Slowly but surely it doesn’t seem so absurd, it doesn’t seem so greedy, it doesn’t seem so impossible. 

I’ve also started putting up little positive money affirmations on sticky notes above my desk. 

I’m slowly chipping away at my preconceived notions about income and self-worth. 

I want things in life, and I want them sooner rather than later. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Having goals doesn’t make me greedy. I’m not harming anyone to get there. 

I love learning about personal finance and money mindsets. Money will probably always be taboo, but it doesn’t mean I can’t change my own attitude towards the matter. 

What are some of the big money lessons you’ve learned so far in life?

Lessons From "Get Rich, Lucky Bitch"

I don’t know about you, but I love reading books about money. And I’m not talking about financial planning (that’s important too), I’m talking about unpacking our beliefs and mindsets surrounding money. 

Because I’m always so surprised with how many there are. And not only that but recognizing how they are inadvertently impacting my day to day decisions, and therefore my overall financial well-being. 

I recently tore through the book, Get Rich Lucky Bitch by Denise Duffield-Thomas, which digs into how our subconscious money mindsets can be sabotaging our financial possibilities. 

It’s chock full of inspiration, so I recommend picking it up if you're into that sort of stuff, but I wanted to go ahead and share some of those nuggets with you today. 

You’re going to have to dig into your money past if there’s any hope for your future. And that’s because how you’ve been raised to feel and think about money most definitely is impacting your relationship with money today. 

Start from your earliest memory about money and work your way up.

Give yourself time to do this exercise, it takes awhile and the more time you spend with it, the more memories come up. You’re going to have to deconstruct how those memories could be impacting you still today.  

Every day write down a list of all the money that comes into your life. Like attracts like, so the more money you realize you have the more money will start flowing to you. 

When you think you don’t have enough, when you don’t know how much you actually have you can be a bit more careless with your money. You might be twiddling away your money in tiny increments for things that you don’t even actually want or care about. 

And when I consistently do this exercise I am amazed with the abundance I actually have compared to what I thought I was making. I’m far from a millionaire, but there have been plenty of months where I make double or triple of what I think I’m making, all because I wasn’t keeping track of it. 

Put yourself in situations where you feel rich. Expect good things to happen to you. Lucky people are overwhelmingly grateful and take responsibility for their lives

She also suggest reprogramming yourself to say yes to money and opportunities to make money. I found three dollars on the floor of a bathroom at a campground. Gross? Probably. But you bet your sweet tushy I snatched that money up and said "YES! Thank you Universe!" Be grateful for what you have. 

Emotions live in our bodies. If you don’t try and feel wealthy now with what you have, you won’t feel wealthy with a million dollars.

Yeah really nice cars are cool, but I’m so grateful for owning my dream bike (a Bianchi), and know that it is more than enough when it comes to the realm of transportation. If you can’t find gratitude in what you have now, you’re never going to be satisfied because there will always be something bigger, something better, something newer to get. Don’t get trapped in that cycle. 

Money loves clarity. When you know exactly WHAT you’re working towards, you will start to act in more positive ways towards your goals. Write down numerical values next to each of the goals, so you know how much it is actually going to cost you to have it. Change the rules of how you think you have to get it. Like farts, goals are better out than in, so release them into the world and onto some paper today!

Get clear with what you want because how are you expected to get something if you don’t know what it is? We all wish for more money, but why do we want more money? What is it that we want to have or do? And how realistic is that goal? Take travel for example, it’s something almost everyone wants to do, but don’t think they can afford. I’ll let you in on a secret, it’s so much more attainable than you think. 

Worse Case Scenario exercise. Voicing those little fears, even if they’re completely irrational, releases their hold on you and you can feel good about becoming rich. You can’t create an amazing life and receive outrageous abundance with an underlying fear that you’re a bad person. 

This was a fun exercise. So, you’ve written out your goals, what you want. Now it’s time to write down all the bad things that could possibly happen if you achieved those goals. 

“My partner will feel inadequate."

“I’ll spend it all."

“I’ll turn into a bad, greedy person.” 

As you look back over the list you’ll start to see how crazy those beliefs are, but it doesn’t change the fact that they’re there, and could be stopping you from reaching for more. 

You might find yourself thinking, “I shouldn’t want that”. It’s like at some point we’ve been told you shouldn’t want to have the best. It’s so common for women to put unconscious limits on how much they are “allowed” to earn. 

Isn’t this the truth? I’ve realized that I’ve been conditioned to think it’s greedy to want more than what you need to survive. How silly is that? And I’ve also recognized that continuing with this belief is going to limit me from reaching big goals I want in the near future: Buying a house, starting a family. Those things take money, and it’s not a “bad” thing to want those things. 

It’s so important to surround yourself with success; we are so influenced by the people around us. Connect with women who are going where you want to go. Everyone you are with on a day-to-day level, your friends, your success team, your partner, needs to be lifting you up not dragging you down with obligation, negativity and poverty mindset.

This is true in all areas in life. Do you and your friends spend your time together complaining about one thing or another? We’re all guilty of it. But you need to start living the life you’re trying to achieve. Whether it’s putting yourself into situations to expand and grow, reaching out to someone who inspires you or meeting up with women you find inspirational. Surround yourself with what you want to be in the world. 

Your income is unlimited. Your potential is unlimited. 

I just want to end with this today. We are constantly limiting ourselves to what we think we can achieve. But if you head out into the world telling yourself you are limitless you start to notice things, people, opportunities, ideas. And you go for it because you’re not limiting yourself to where you’re currently at in the world. 

Having a Money Minute

Repeat after me: Money is not the enemy.

I’ve talked a few times before about the importance of learning about, and paying attention to your money.

People think that by ignoring it they won’t have to deal with it. But choosing not to do anything is still an action. 

And no matter how much or how little money you feel like you have, paying attention to it is important. 

So, today I wanted to talk about taking a money minute. 

Some people do this once a day, a week, a month or less than that. 

Right now I’m in-between once a week and once a month, and I want to get back to once a week. 

And this is what a money minute means to me:

Pulling up my bank account and my credit card online. 

Going through both and writing down every dollar spent and made in my bullet journal. 

I have a number of payments automated, but the bigger ones I still do manually:

+ student loan payment

+ rent

+ credit card

By going through my bank and credit card statement I can keep an eye on where I’m spending money, maybe a subscription I don’t use that I need to cancel, things like that. 

It’s also a great time to see where you’re at in your budget, whether what you’re making is enough to support how much you’re spending. 

And if it isn’t adding up it’s a great motivator to cut back spending and amp up your income. 

Don’t ignore your finances. 

And if you don’t feel comfortable with them, you need to force yourself look at them, make yourself learn about personal finance. 

Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to money. 

I truly believe that the more attention you pay to your finances the better you will do financially. 

The Beauty of Multiple Streams of Income

I’m trying to remember a time when I only had one job. 

You see, I’ve always worked a variety of odd jobs. I helped my parents flip houses from junior high through high school, then I worked in a coffee shop, a mall, my college, a restaurant, another restaurant and another restaurant, all while nannying and painting on the side. 

And I think there’s something awesome about realizing that your money doesn’t have to come from just one place. 

I think that’s pretty freeing as well. 

And don't for a second think that I'm bragging, gloating about how rich I am. 

I'm neither. (Gloating nor rich).

Even now that I have FemmeHead, my money I make through that doesn’t come from just one place either. And I think that’s a big misconception/confusion people have when wanting to start an online business. 

I know I was really confused for a long time how people made money online. 

So, I wanted to break down all the various places I currently have money coming from. 

Let’s start with FemmeHead:

 + I make money when people take/buy one of my courses.

+ I make money when someone does 1-on-1 coaching with me. 

+ I make money through affiliate codes (such as Amazon, Daysy, and RubyCup). 

+ I make money from YouTube through ad revenue. It starts trickling in at a few cents a day, then a few dollars a day, and so on. It took me a year on YouTube before I had that cents to dollars jump. And over the past month YouTube has been struggling with advertisers so I've seen a 50% cut in my revenue from them. 

None of these things on its own could even come close to being able to support me. With all of them combined I almost have enough to get by. 

This is where you have to make the decision to find other sources of income. And when you’re starting off there shouldn't be that embarrassment of “Well, I work here."

For me this used to be waitressing. And I struggled talking to people about where I worked. I had a lot of internalized guilt and embarrassment when it came to this. 

I absolutely dreaded the question, “So, Victoria. What do you do?"

We all want to have some super cool, super professional answer to this. 

And the sucky part of this is that I actually really enjoyed working there. I just really got bogged down with the judgemental looks, and “oh, so where do you go to school?” (assuming that's the only reason I would work there). Things like that. 

Now, that I quit waitressing, but I’m not quite to the point where I can fully support myself just with FemmeHead, I’ve had to look into other avenues of making money. 

And yes, believe me this is a point of stress at times, but I try to look at it as a fun challenge. 

This has involved both creating new parts of FemmeHead, as well as using skills I already have outside of FemmeHead. 

I’m constantly creating new things for my business, (I’m currently working on merchandise and a workshop). And I have started painting houses on the side. 

One of the perks of living in Des Moines is the cost of it all is fairly low in comparison to other parts of the country. I hear what people pay for just rent in some cities and I’ll just about choke on what I’m eating/drinking. 

And because I live with someone, our costs are all pretty much split, which makes things like rent and groceries really manageable. 

So I guess what I’m saying is that you have to look at the big picture.

What are your necessities? Are there certain expenses that you view as "must haves" but really could be cut back on a bit?

Don’t limit yourself to one “job". I know this is nothing new. People work two, three jobs all of the time.

Use the skill sets you have and build on them.

And don’t be embarrassed by what you do. I spent too long with a lot of anxiety built up around all of this. But as soon as I decided to "own it", life became much more enjoyable. 

[Potentially sad news: I have been reassessing FemmeHead this week. At the end of the day it is my business and livelihood, so with the ad revenue issues on YouTube, I'm most likely going to have to take a step back a bit from videos, and focus more of my time elsewhere. But I don't want to stop making videos all together. I wanted to give everyone an opportunity to support what I do on YouTube. If this calls out to you, go check out my Patreon page to see how you can support the work done at FemmeHead.]