I thought for sure I was some infertile freak.
Everyone had gotten their period. Everyone it seemed but me.
I didn't even know what to expect. But I wanted it. I wanted it to come so I would be normal.
And when it came I didn't even realize what it was at first.
Honestly, I thought I had somehow pooped my pants. Yes, that's right. I thought I had somehow pooped my pants at the ripe old age of 14.
The blood was brown, which confused me. It couldn't be my period. Blood was red wasn't it?
I got it at school, but still went to the Wednesday night church youth group I went to with one of my friends. And I carried on throughout the night like nothing had happened.
I think I did nothing because I still thought I had pooped myself at this point. And that was embarrassing.
And looking back I don’t know when it finally clicked. I think it was later that night. I finally had a moment of “Duh, even diarrhea isn’t liquid like this. *lightbulb* Wait! Is this…is this my period?!"
I didn't tell my mom.
I didn't tell anyone.
I snuck pads from my older sister's stash, and it wasn't long until my mother came forward and said she knew I had gotten my period.
There wasn't anything horrific about this experience. I just remember being confused and looking back I realize I had no idea what to expect. No one had prepared me for it.
I had gone through the 6th grade health class, all my friends had gotten their periods, my sister had hers, my mom obviously had hers, I even had a book from my mom about puberty, and I still didn’t understand it.
I don't remember a celebration, a congratulations, or anything positive from that first period.
And this is why I’m here. We may not want a celebration at that age, but we deserve some sort of positive acknowledgment, some sense of normalcy to it [hey we’re all in this together], to expect the realities of it, and to feel a sense of excitement, not dread.
I’m not asking ladies to run around carrying uterus flags and posters, but I want women to embrace their cycles instead of hating them. Is that too much to ask for?