I had seen this book floating around the internet for a bit, knowing that I would eventually need to buy it for myself.
There are plenty of books I will check out from the library, read once, enjoy, but never pick up again. But this was one of those books that I knew I would need to mark up, and go back to time and time again.
I easily convinced my friend that we should read this in our two-person book club (it’s since grown to a three-person book club). We split it up into sections, and dug in.
The first two chapters were an adjustment period for me, getting acquainted with her language, and trying to decipher what this book was about. But seriously, people would ask what it was about and I couldn’t explain it to them.
I found myself really, really getting into it starting at chapter three. But I don’t want to give any of it away, because you HAVE to go read this yourself. Seriously, go get it now. I just passed my copy along to my mother to borrow while I’m away, because I want her to read it.
Without spoiling the book for you I want to share my biggest take aways. And they were pretty big for me.
The first thing I realized was that I need to start taking better care of myself. Yes, I’ve gotten really good at doing things consistently like journaling and meditation. But I needed to start pampering myself.
Who knows why, but I used to view “pampering” yourself as girly, unnecessary, and frivolous. And I’ve been going through this whole process over the past few years of rejecting everything that falls under the female stereotype in this way of trying to discover myself. I like to take it to the extreme sometimes.
For example, I’ve gone through [separate] periods where I've stopped brushing my hair (letting it start to dread), wearing makeup, shaving, getting dressed up. Things like that. It has been this process that I guess I needed to go through to find my own middle ground.
But I also came to this realization that I needed to stop rushing through the pampering parts of my days that already existed, like skincare, bathing, etc. And golly has that been fun. I’ve started taking more baths, and just letting myself sink in and enjoy it. I’ll usually bring some fruit and a giant glass of water with me.
I’ve also allowed myself more time to go through my skincare routine in the morning and at night. Instead of rushing through getting it all of my face, I’ve slowed down to enjoy the process. I let each product sink into my skin before moving on to applying the next. I’ll give myself a little face and neck massage. I’ve started putting lotion on my whole body (it’s winter, my skin is thirsty!).
And I’ve started to dip my toes into the wonderful world of Korean skincare, but that’s another post in itself.
I’ll even spray a little hair oil in before heading to bed, and it’s these little touches that just make me feel so much better. And it only takes a few extra minutes each day.
I’ve also started taking more time to prepare my food, laying it out in a visually appealing way on the plate or in the bowl, and something about that makes eating feel so much more special — luxurious almost.
I’m a pretty tidy person, but she talks about this whole idea of preparing your house, food, evening, etc. like there’s a really important person coming over. But the kick is that special person is you.
It has been a fun little process retraining my mind to not feel guilty about pampering myself or having nice things.
But probably the biggest realization this book provided me with was that I have this real disconnect from my sexuality/libido. I know, it’s a crazy thought that someone who is so connected to my body on the functional side (my cycle) as well as the “spiritual” side of it can be disconnected from the sexual side of it.
I’ve known for a few months that I’ve wanted to dig deeper into the topic of libido, but this book made the need for that even more apparent. And it has also gotten me very excited at the same time.
This book was much needed without even knowing it. It’s already sparked big changes in my life and I’m looking forward to seeing how it influences me going forward from here.
I always love hearing of the books that have an impact on people, past, “That was a good book.” So, I always try to share mine, and listen to what others share as well.