Discovering Lagom + How It Fits Into My Life

I first discovered hygge and it wasn’t long after that I stumbled upon lagom.

While there is no direct translation from Swedish, I liked the definition “not too little, not too much, just right.” 

I saw someone refer to it as the “Goldilocks" amount. And another said lagom is closer to “optimal”. Overall, it is a lifestyle of balance, sustainability, and frugality. 

For a minimalist like myself, lagom speaks to me. I think a lot of people think minimalism is about owning nothing, living in a destitute house of white walls, a mattress on the floor and one plate and fork. And it couldn’t be further from that. 

While yes there are those that enjoy minimalism in its extreme the vast majority of us look at it as a way to go about life. A conscious choice to be selective about what we let into our lives. Whether that’s physical things, people, experiences. It’s all about refining it down to just what brings you happiness. 

Why bother with the rest everything if it’s just going to clutter up your space and your mind? 

Unlike hygge, lagom isn’t a moment or an experience, it’s much more of an overarching concept to live by. 

When you get down to it, lagom is about striving for a balanced life that can lead you to live in your most natural state. 

Funny enough most Swedes will go “meh” at the mention of lagom because for them its something that means average and boring to them. But the rest of the world is jumping on the lagom train.  

I’m all for taking these concepts like hygge and lagom and finding the aspects of them that speak to me and infusing that into my life to make it all that much better. 

So, here’s the bits of it that speak to me:

Balanced Eating — I’ve never been too strict with what I eat. And the great thing about being vegan is I can eat as much as I want on a whole foods plant-based diet. But there will always be a place in my heart (and my stomach) for sweet things. If I’m focused on getting enough nutrition through fruits, veggies, nuts seeds, grains, etc. then I can have my cake and eat it too! 

Wasting Less — I’ve made some big changes over the past two years when it comes to this. And for the most part, they’re  simple switches. Getting reusable shopping bags, coffee cups, not overbuying on food. I don’t leave the lights on when they’re not needed, or the water running while I brush my teeth. I walk or ride my bike when possible (and it helps not having my own car). I recycle, I reuse, and the amount of trash I produce has dropped drastically. I’m still far from zero waste but I’d love to get there one day. 

Getting Rid of the Excess — Decluttering is one of the most beautiful things I do for myself. It is addicting first off because you have this amazing feeling of lightness and freedom after going through your belongings. And there’s nothing better than having just what you need, and when all of those belongings have a home. Decisions are easier, cleaning is easier. It’s a win, win!

Being a Conscious Consumer — If I want to buy something new it first gets put on my ‘want list’ and it sits there while I research the best option, cost, where I can get it from, whether I can get it second hand, etc. And often times I find that things will sit on my ‘want list’ and eventually I realize, meh I really don’t want/need that and it gets taken off the list. Decluttering was a great way to jump start how I viewed buying stuff. The same goes for starting a capsule wardrobe. 

Creating a Capsule Wardrobe — Speaking of that, it intimidated me at first but once I finally went for it and curated a capsule for each season my mornings have been so much simpler. Why have all of your clothes all together when you probably can’t even wear half of it? This doesn’t mean I’m stuck with only that capsule for the season. If I realize there’s something I need I’ll add it. And it’s a great way to actually see what you need, and what you don’t wear, and can pass along. 

Having a Mindful Work/Life Balance — This one can be tricky regardless of whether you work for someone or you work for yourself. Personally, work and non-work can blend together. Especially since I work from home. But a few things that have really helped is creating a little home office in the corner of our guest bedroom, knowing that “Right, I’m going to sit down to work from 8 -5 today.” I also find that getting ready for work (getting dressed, etc.) helps get me into the mindset. I also don’t jump straight into work in the morning or work up until bedtime either. I make sure I have time before and after my work day to do things for myself. Whether that’s journaling, yoga, meditation, hanging out with friends or family. You need to make time for yourself outside of work. 

Overall, I think there are so many elements of lagom that are already a part of my life. But I’m all for discovering new concepts and finding inspiration in them. And sharing them with you!

Are you into hygge or lagom, or is there another catchy term you are inspired by? 

Books I've Read this Summer

I’ve been working my way through a number of books this summer, and I always enjoy with others share their reading lists, so I wanted to do the same for you. 

Here are the books I’ve read, and am currently reading:

Nurture Shock by Po Bronson & Ashley Merryman

I picked this one up in the Portland airport before flying back down to San Francisco. I am absolutely fascinated by parenting psychology, and will read just about any book on the topic. It talks about how a number of our modern strategies for raising tiny humans are actually backfiring. It talks about sleep, praise, race and so much more!

How to be Bored by Eva Hoffman

I had no idea there were a series of books like this on by The School of Life. She talks all about how we are overactive and overstimulated. In a world when there’s so much happening, and access to distractions is so simple, we need to make sure were stepping back and unplugging at the same time. 

Goodbye Things by Fumio Sasaki

I’m a sucker for minimalism books, and there aren’t too many out there (that I’ve discovered yet anyways). This is one man’s journey into minimalism, where he shares different examples of other minimalists, how there’s no right or wrong way to do it, and plenty of tips as well as ways he’s changed since making the transition. 

The China Study by T. Colin Campbell and Thomas M. Campbell

This one has been on my wishlist for quite some time, but now a friend and I are reading it together. I knew from the introduction that I was going to like this book. It is jam-packed with information, statistics and studies making the case for a plant-based diet. We’re just a little ways in, but I’m fascinated and excited to keep learning.

Skinny Bitch: Bun in the Oven by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin

I picked this one up in Florida, after our cruise this spring and gobbled it up. I read the original Skinny Bitch years ago, but I’ve been very intrigued with all things pregnancy, fertility, birth and parenting recently and this one is good. It’s like having a chat from a smart, but blunt friend. And not to mention the push to eat plant-based. 

The Kind Mama by Alicia Silverstone

One of my favorite pregnancy books so far. I love that she is honest and loving, but also optimistic. There is so much fear around pregnancy and birth. And seeing that I want to have a kid one day, and I plan on being vegan I was curious about what that looked like. So, it has been great to discover a few books of vegan mamas. And not only a vegan pregnancy but natural birth, breastfeeding and gentle parenting. I thoroughly enjoyed this one. 

Baby Catcher by Peggy Vincent

A last minute addition to this list, seeing as I just finished this two days ago. I tore through this book in a matter of a few days. It was one that you sat down to start reading, and next thing you knew you were nearly 200 pages in. Peggy is a midwife, and in this book she shares her journey by telling birth stories. I learned a lot about the history of midwifery as well as the potential issues with the future of it. I sometimes wish I would have become a midwife, but I think becoming a doula would satisfy the same curiosity while still allowing me to do other things. A must read. 

My reading wish list grows faster than I can keep up with, and I absolutely love reading, researching, learning and discovering new things. What are some of your favorite books you’ve read this summer? 

Finding Gratitude In Work | Even When It Sucks

I had a few moments during my last vacation where I found myself thinking, I’m so excited to get home so I can get back to work. Normally, I still work during “vacations” but this one had me totally disconnected from internet access. 

And each time after I found myself having this wishful thoughts about being back home, sitting, working away, I would stop myself and fully appreciate the gratitude I felt for being so excited by “work”. 

I mean, how incredible is it that while on vacation the thought of getting back to work excites me so much. It has the same feeling as the anticipation for going on a big trip. 

This sensation has been years in the making, and that’s something I want to talk about today. Because even if you have a job that you aren’t totally in love with, yet aren’t quite in the position of quitting just yet, I guarantee there is at least one or two aspects of it that you can look at and say, yeah that right there, I’m grateful for that part of my job. 

For some people this is benefits, or maybe the consistent structure of 9 - 5, or even for others the flexibility to stay home with a sick child if need be. While the mundanity of day to day tasks can cause us to slip into a fog of, "bleh this sucks" I challenge you to once a day pull yourself out of this, stop for a moment and find one thing to be thankful for. 

We’ve all had jobs that we didn’t enjoy or detested all together, and just going to work gave us that pit of anxiety in our chest and stomachs. But we’ve also had jobs that we’ve loved, and still found ourselves in moments of “I really don’t want to do this today.” 

Even now, in the midst of something I could only dream about for many years I find myself every now and then unmotivated to do the tasks set out for myself, by myself, for the day ahead. 

But I have gotten really good at recognizing these moments almost as soon as they happen. And I quickly stop myself from whatever it is I’m doing, and place myself smack in the reality of it. Why am I feeling these negative feelings in that moment, and what can I do to change my attitude about the situation. And often just the act of stopping and thinking is enough to realize, “Hey, this whole set up you’ve got going for yourself right here is pretty freaking amazing.” 

But sometimes I will recognize a reoccurring feeling that arises from these moments of thought. Recently there was a lot of feeling lonely. And guess what? I have complete control of that. What could I do, what could I add to change that feeling. And the answer was simple — social interaction. This is a common complaint of those working from home. While we love the freedom and flexibility of it, we often crave having someone around to talk to, whether that’s to bounce our ideas off of or to sit and have a conversation about something totally unrelated. 

So, I’ve made it a point to schedule weekly coffee dates, “co-worker” days with two of my friends who also work from home, as well as to plan a girls night every other week or so. Another easy way I’ve found to relieve some of this feeling of being lonely is to simple head out to a coffee shop to work for a few hours. The sensation you get from being around people, having a chat with the person who takes your order or makes your coffee, and the probability to see a friendly familiar face is enough to make the $5 cup of coffee worth it to me every now and then. 

I think the biggest lesson I want you to take away from reading this is that if you are unhappy in a situation don’t just sit there and continue on with it. Take the time to step away and really ask yourself what it is that you are lacking? What do you need? And at the same time asking yourself to find something positive, even in the midst of feeling so crummy about the day. 

This can seem like a steep task when you find yourself in the same routine day after day, doing the same things day after day. 

I actually find that there are certain aspects of a daily routine I crave, and will find myself missing if I don’t make time for them. 

The biggest being my morning journaling routine. I always feel a little off kilter if I don’t have time in the morning do sit down and write. 

I also feel a positive impact when I make time for an afternoon break (usually around 2 p.m.) for a bit of yoga, stretching and meditation. 

So, first identify those elements of day to day life that you enjoy. It’s as simple as a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper or a early morning workout routine. Whatever it may be, get clear on what it is you want to keep. 

Next, look at maybe something you could eliminate from your routine that doesn’t really bring you any added benefit or joy. 

And then you can look at what elements you want to add to your day. What is something you can start doing that will brighten your day. For me it was more time with those I love and enjoy spending time with. For you it might be a 20 minute walk in the park, or taking the time to read a good book for an hour in the afternoon. 

Can you apply this same frame of thinking to your responsibilities at work. Yes, there’s probably certain daily tasks that you can’t get out of, but maybe there are some that you can, and maybe there’s others that you can add. 

Ask for more responsibility, propose a new project, whatever it may be. 

And don’t forget to find the happy bits each day. What aspect of your job are you grateful for today?