Say 'Yes' More Often

Ok, this is a super corny sounding blog post, but it’s worth sharing. 

So, I ready Shonda Rhimes book “The Year of Yes” and it was actually quite fabulous. And it got me thinking, you know what, there are so many situations where I say no to things. And I kind of unknowingly decided to start saying yes. 

It wasn’t like other things I’ve challenged myself to do, like take a break from caffeine or drink more water. I didn’t set a goal, it was just a mental shift that happened. 

You see, I’m kind of a pretty shy person. I know my comfort zone and I like to stay safely within it, if not barely walk around the perimeter to see what’s out there. 

And while there were bigger things I said no to because they scared me, there were small things I said no to on a daily basis, and I just ended up staying home instead. 

Now, I’ve just started recognizing all the moments in which I would have probably said no before and decide to say yes. 

I really do believe the energy you put out into the world is what you get back. If you’re closed off, you’re going to ignore or pass on opportunities.

It’s just been a few months now of this new mindset, but things have started happening that makes me wonder if they’re a result of me being more “open”. 

Things that have happened since I started saying yes more:

+ did a podcast interview — I’ve done interviews before here and there but this one felt different. It just seemed to come together and happen quickly, and I don’t know how to explain it but I felt like I had more of an impact during it.

+ had several 1-on-1 coaching requests come through — I normally have these come through one here and one there, but I had three come through within a week or two. 

+ have had several sponsorship opportunities land in my inbox — I get offers for plenty of junk or completely unrelated products, but there were a ton of relevant offers that came through. 

+ few different speaking chances — It’s on my 2018 goals to speak in front of a crowd (no matter how small), and I’ve had two different people say “You should do this”. 

+ a free entry into a few races — I mean it helps that my friends/husband are in the race world, but I don’t always take advantage of that. 

+ I got to film two races — Granted one of them was Michaels race and I was more told that was my role, but then another friend asked me to film their race after that. 

+ getting out and experiencing more — this is more of a general result of saying more, but hey, you get out and do a lot more by having this mindset rather than saying no and staying at home. 

+ feel more confident — A lot of people, myself included, say no because we don’t think we’re good enough to do something. But I’m all about the mindset of “fake it till you make it” even though it’s sometimes hard to do it personally.

I’ve been quicker to say yes, or follow up on opportunities, and while it’s terrifying to get out of your comfy little box where you feel so safe, it’s also so much more exhilarating out here. 

I Started Saying "I Love You" to My Acne

Crazy I know, but one day I just started doing it. 

As I would go through my skincare routine every morning, and evening, I began to say "I love you, and you, and I especially love you" (to the bigger pimples) as I rubbed my cleanser, serums, lotions and whatever other elixirs I felt like that day. 

I’m not quite sure why I started or what exactly made me do it. But doing it made me feel better about my breakouts. It honestly did. 

And it reminded me of something I used to do years ago, where I would name the really big pimples. I would then go around introducing him to my friends, and other weird stuff like that. By making it into a little bit of a joke, it was easier than trying to hide it and hate it every time I looked in a mirror. 

Now, I don’t believe that by me saying “I Love You” is healing my acne, but it did create a significant shift in my perspective towards my zits. I stopped picking at my skin when I started thinking more fondly of it. And I started taking better care of it, taking more time each day. 

And it made me want to do things nice things like drink more water and eat better food to nourish my body and my skin. 

Google “power of positive words experiment” and you’ll see science fair like set ups where someone takes the same food (an apple cut in half, or rice scooped from the same pot), keep them in two separate containers, and each day these people say sweet, nice things to one, and hateful, mean things to the other.

Guess which one started decaying and molding faster? Yup, the one that was spewed all the negativity, and hate. 

I believe in the power of energy because it changes how you act towards something. And what you put out into the world is what you receive (not always of course). 

It’s very similar to changing your perspective towards your menstrual cycle. If you can start looking at it in a positive, loving way, you’ll begin to learn how to coexist with your own unique cycle. 

So I challenge you to start looking into not only your mirror, but to you life in general with love and understanding. Say kind, loving words to yourself. Hell, set up your own apple experiment if you’d like. And I guarantee you’ll be surprisingly pleased with the results.  

Other's Accomplishments Aren't Your Failures

Ahh, social media. What a great way to connect with others and discover new things. But unfortunately it often ends up being a platform to judge ourselves from. 

I have caught myself plenty of times feeling jealous of other’s accomplishments. But I always catch these feelings straight away, and force myself to step back and realize that I am actually happy for that person.

First you have to realize that you have no idea how much effort and work went into their accomplishment. And just because someone has had a very successful registration or a huge uptick in followers doesn’t mean that you are negatively effected by that or that it means you’re failing.

This comparison game goes way way way back, further than I care to dig. Think back to sports and GPA’s in high school, internships in college, promotions, magazine articles, whatever it may be as adults.

I’m here to tell you to do you. You are your own person, on your own journey. And we all know we should not be comparing ourselves to what we see on other’s Facebook or Instagram. Because that’s not the full picture. Even if they tell you the good news to your face, you don’t know the background story. 

I remember going out to eat with my girlfriends last year, and listening to two of them talk about preparing for yearly reviews and prepping to ask for raises. And I’m over there hitting my hummus, thinking to myself, “Ugh they’re so much further along in this whole adult thing that I am. What am I doing?” And I found myself comparing where I was at with my work life to where they were in theirs. 

And you can’t do that. It’s comparing apples to oranges my friend. When I thought about it further later on I realized, “Hey girl, you don’t even want to be a part of that world, where you have to worry about yearly reviews and asking for a promotion or a raise.” 

I made a very clear decision after college to not venture down that path. So, why am I sitting over here comparing myself to it?

We have to realize that we’re all just creating our empires in our own, unique way. Even those in the same field of work as you don’t always have the same desires in life that you do.  

Look to others for motivation and inspiration. But only compare yourself to where you have been. It’s the only way to do it. 

Dig out that old journal from two years ago, and I guarantee you’ll get a little self-esteem boost. Because sometimes we forget how far we’ve come, and all we need is a little reminder to give ourselves a pat on the back. 

How do you stop yourself from this tired, old comparison game?