I’m writing this from my kitchen counter, eyeing the blanket and pillow I have set out on the couch for myself once I complete this.
The past few days have been emotional, to say the least. My emotions always like to make a very strong appearance around my period.I try to remain grateful that I have the ability to feel so deeply, even when it’s not always on the positive side of the spectrum.
I have felt run down and tired, which leads to a little bit of resistance and frustration on my end. I like to remain productive, happy and upbeat. I’m learning to let go of this need.
Small things will lead to tears and sometimes you have a breakdown at the end of a yoga class when the weight of all the things start to feel too heavy, too real. That was yesterday. I had a great meditation class, but started yoga and quickly found myself frustrated and upset with those around me.
And then it happened.
We were on our backs, nearing the end [and my personal favorite part of yoga class, Shavasana] and I was suddenly overwhelmed with sadness, with a feeling of unfairness. Bad things were happening to too many good people in my life, and the weight of that enveloped me right there on my mat. I tried to lay with it, to breathe, to find center again. But I couldn’t. My lips quivered and tears streaked down my face straight into my ears, pooling, giving me the sensation of being underwater. I wondered if the women next to me could hear the escaped whimpers, if I should just get up and walk out.
Emotions are a very real part of the menstrual cycle, yet we’re told not to feel them. I’m a deeply emotional person, yet struggle to show them to others. [Coincidence?] It takes practice remaining grateful for the very high highs, and the very low lows. I wouldn’t want to live life on some middle ground between emotions because beautiful things flower and grow from both ends of that spectrum.
Leading up to our periods, and while they are happening we are given a “superpower” if you look at it in a certain light. We are given clearer access to our subconscious minds, and things will bubble up that have been suppressed over the past month (or longer). This is a great time to allow [*force] yourself to sit with them, to reflect on your life, your path and your focus. This is the perfect time to weed out the unnecessary in your life.
So, with that, I think it’s time to let myself go lay on the couch and do a little emotional spring cleaning.