I was here at one point.

There was at least a year where I desperately wanted to get off the pill, but didn’t think there were any non-hormonal options that would actually work for me.

I tried to look back in my old journals to see if I talked about quitting the pill. But there’s nothing in there that I’ve found where I specifically mention the pill.

But there were so many eye-opening entries in there that are mind-boggling and heart breaking to read. Because of how bad I had gotten mentally and emotionally that last year.

I want to share just a few paragraphs from different entries to give you a grasp of that time in life.

July 2, 2012

“I want to feel like I’m floating, like I’m flying, like I’m not here. How do I do that, how do I feel that? Free, like I don’t exist. Invisible like no one can see me. So no one notices me? I wish I were a bird. I would fly and fall, glide and soar. Free from life.”

August 9, 2012

“I’m really proud of myself today. I ate an apple and fiber bar for breakfast. An apple for lunch and a tuna sandwich for dinner. Plus I went for a run with Bob (my dog), did a lower body workout, twice and cardio pilates once.

I still want some pills. I’m thinking Hydroxycut. I need to check out where I can pick some up.”

August 17, 2012

“Slowly slipping deeper into this shallow depression that is surrounding me. Little by little, further and further down I go. It’s comforting to be alone. Then there are no fake smiles, no fake laughs to force out of myself to please those around me. When I’m alone I can quietly slip away.”

This is just a taste of what was in there and it always breaks my heart to read these old journals. To know and remember what I was going through. And to so clearly see it now, but to know that I was completely blind to it then.

And I know I wasn’t alone in that. That there are still countless girls and women struggling today because of their hormonal birth control. Either unaware that there are other options or too afraid to get off it.

And I just wish I could sit down with you. Give you a hug. Tell you that you can do it. That there is another way.

But also that you shouldn’t feel pressured to jump off that cliff until you’re ready.

So, you want to quit, but you’re too scared to? What to do?

Educate yourself.

Build your community.

You’re not alone in your desire for a different way. And you’re not the first to venture down this path.

Start with some books, take a class or find an online educator.

Taking the time to learn the method thoroughly and completely will put you at ease and give you the confidence you need to take that leap.

Yes, there’s the chance of pregnancy, but you take that risk with every single method of birth control you use. That’s the choice and risk you take when having sex with someone.

But if you want to avoid pregnancy and use FAM I promise you are capable and responsible enough.

There are condoms, there are copper IUD’s, there are new advances in technology to help make your non-hormonal birth control journey that much easier.

And let’s not forget that there are plenty of fun physical and sexual activities you can do with your partner without the risk and fear of pregnancy that comes with intercourse.

Sex doesn’t just mean intercourse, don’t forget that. It’s an exciting spectrum of things waiting for you to try out.

When you first discover you can quit your hormonal birth control and use a non-hormonal option like FAM, the prospect is terrifying.

We have been led to believe for so long that we are incapable of controlling our own fertility. But that’s a lie. You are more than capable of doing just that.

I promise the more you learn, the more you let it sink in, and the more you hear from those of us already doing it, the more ready you’ll be to join the club.

[If you're ready but want someone to help guide you through the process, to talk about what that entails and what to expect, my Ditch the Pill course is perfect for you. Sign up now for the relaunch August 21st! If you're new to FAM and want to learn how to properly chart your cycle, snag your spot for my Chart Your Cycle course, which starts August 16th!]