Things I Do When I'm Stressed

We all get a little stressed and anxious at different points, and that’s normal and ok. I used to have pretty bad anxiety back when I was on the pill, and on top of that, I didn’t really know how to manage my stress or anxiety. 

Nowadays I thankfully have less stress in my life, but it still happens. And I’ve gotten a heck of a lot better at managing my stress. 

Today, I wanted to share my go-to strategies when I’m feeling stressed out or anxious. 

[Disclaimer: everyone's stress and anxiety are different. I’m lucky to have it pretty mild all in all, and what works for me might not work for you.]

In no particular order:

+ journal | this is my number one go-to thing that I do when I’m feeling out of sorts in any way. I will dig into my ‘normal’ journal when something just comes up and I need to get it out. But I’ve found that one way I can manage my stress, and work through things is with a daily practice of morning pages. This is where I sit down first thing each morning and write out three pages of just streaming conscious thoughts, basically whatever is in my mind. 

+ get out in nature | I grew up out in the woods, in nature surrounded by trees, the breeze and a whole lot of space. Regardless, I think removing yourself from the hustle and bustle of a city, and even if it’s just going to a park nearby, I find that nature soothes the soul. Take a book, your work, hang up a hammock or go on a walk. 

+ go on a walk/run | this is something that I’ve been trying to make a part of my daily routine. I would love to start running again in the mornings, but I try to take a break during the day and walk somewhere, whether it’s to run an errand like drop of library books or print something off from FedEx, I find that not only taking the break, but getting out and finding movement does a lot for me. 

+ brainstorm goals | when I’m feeling a bit lost in my direction, unmotivated or stressed about where I am I find that brainstorming what I want to achieve and coming up with a list of tangible steps forward never fails to make me feel more in control again. And I think having goals in general and pushing yourself outside your comfort zone are good things to keep you growing. 

+ meditate | you knew I was going to say this one didn’t you? But it’s so true, I even know that, and I’m not even that good at staying consistent with meditation. If meditation isn’t your thing I find that disconnecting and sitting quietly for ten minutes is nice as well. You can also try an app out there like Headspace or Calm. 

+ watch videos or read a book | this is a great way to get inspired, and if you’re having difficulties with something I guarantee someone else has been through it as well and either written a book, made a video on YouTube or wrote a blog post about it. I really enjoy videos and books that are about self-help and business related things. And there’s really something magical about watching someone talk about how they got more organized, inspired, cleaned up their house, got back on track and anything like that. 

+ learn a new skill/do something new | having a goal that is unrelated to work is such a good thing. Last year it was training for a marathon for me. This year I’ve been working hard to teach myself new skills related to creating better content, being more organized and taking on the business side of things, which isn’t my strong suit. I also really want to teach myself to play a song on the ukulele. Oh, I learning how to ride a longboard is a great challenge. 

+ check in on my sleep situation and nighttime routine | if you’re feeling out of sorts take some time to think through how you’ve been sleeping, how much sleep have you been getting and what do you do before bed to wind down? If you’re going straight from social media or staring at your laptop to jumping in bed and expecting yourself to fall asleep you’re not doing yourself any favors. Sleep is so important and people seem to think that getting less sleep is some sort of badge of honor. It’s not. 

+ step away | take a technology break, put down your phone, shut your laptop and just do something else. Whether this is a little self-care time, reading a book, running an errand. There are countless things you can do to just take a break from it all. Even if it’s just for 10 minutes. You have the time. 

+ have a get my life together day | this is usually Sundays for me, and I find that by having one day a week that I dedicate part of or all of to getting my life together just makes me feel better heading into the new week. So, I do things like clean my apartment, like deep clean, not the surface level cleaning you do to get you through the week. I pop in a load of laundry, finish up tasks from the week before, plan out the following week, and just basically all the things you put off during the week. Cleaning is also a coping mechanism of mine. 

+ listen to music | this is a great way to change the atmosphere. I like to pop on some tunes while I work, clean, get ready, and sometimes when I just need a break I’ll put on some loud, fun music and dance (*flail*) around like a weirdo. This is also a great thing to do while you’re out on that walk, run or in nature to de-stress. 

+ watch something light-hearted and funny | we all need a good laugh, and sometimes you need some help doing that. Whether it’s a quick segment of a talk show on YouTube or something stupid you found on Netflix, just escape for a bit and have a good chuckle. 

Now, the next two are my go-to’s if I’m feeling super anxious or on the verge of a panic attack:

+ get in the shower and sit down | something about water has always calmed me down. If I don’t feel well I’ll run a bath, but if I’m feeling like I’m going to have a panic attack (and I’m home) I will get in the shower and sit down and just work through it there. I don’t like being around other people in those moments and there really is something about the water from the shower coming down over you. 

+ practice a breathing technique of counting my breaths | if I’m not somewhere that I can get into the shower, or if it’s not to the level of sit in the shower I will count my breaths. Ten deep breaths, starting on the inhale (one), exhale (two) and so on. 

Like I said before we all have our different ways of handling stress that works for us. What are your go-to strategies? 

Stress + Your Cycle

Stress is a real pain in the ass. It has plenty of negative effects and is all around not good. 

Effects on your body:

+ headaches

+ muscle tension/pain

+ chest pain

+ fatigue

+ change in libido

+ upset stomach

+ sleep issues

Effects on your mood:

+ anxiety

+ restlessness

+ lack of motivation/focus

+ feeling overwhelmed

+ irritable

+ sadness/depression

Effects on your behavior:

+ eating too much/not enough

+ outbursts

+ drug/alcohol use

+ social withdrawal

+ exercising less

But how can it mess with your menstrual cycle? 

I can see from that list a whole host of ways it can interfere. 

If you’re in a rut of chronic stress or have recently experienced a very stressful event (think the loss of a job or loved one), your hormones can be suppressed, which can cause your period to be delayed or stop altogether. 

When you’re stressed your body secretes the hormones adrenaline and cortisol, which can suppress estrogen and progesterone production, which we know are necessary for a healthy cycle. 

Your body reacts to stress and being in a state of “fight or flight” by sending signals to your body saying "now is not a good time to get pregnant." 

I’ve seen it before in my own cycle. In a time of stress, my body will delay ovulation until things have calmed down a bit. 

And if you’re trying to conceive, stress could be playing a role in your difficulty getting pregnant. Because if your body is sending around the “not a good time to get pregnant” signal that’s no bueno.

Your PMS symptoms can also be exacerbated by stress. Think acne, irritability, fatigue and so on. Yay.

Being stressed is not another thing to stress about, there are easy things you can do to help de-stress. 

The three main things I found that help reduce stress are diet, exercise and sleep. 

If things aren’t going great we can find ourselves reaching for comfort foods that might not be nourishing our bodies how they need to be. Plan out your meals before you go shopping. What are some nutritious recipes that get you excited about cooking and eating them? Some people find meal prepping before the start of the week makes eating healthier easier. And if you have a busy life being able to grab your lunch quickly from the fridge on your way out the door is going to help a lot. 

Exercise can be the last thing on our minds when we’re stressed. “I don’t have time for that!” But there are plenty of easy ways to fit a little movement into our days. Take the stairs instead of the elevator or escalator, go for walks even if it’s just 10 minutes. Some people find attending a workout class works better than having to come up with a workout routine on their own. 

And along that same line can we talk about yoga for a second? Not only is it exercise but it does so much more for the mind as well. Plus you can pop on a video from YouTube and do a quick 15-minute routine in your living room. I also like doing a few yoga stretches before bed or even in bed. Just this morning I did about five minutes of stretching to prolong the whole getting out of bed thing. 

And when you find yourself restless at night, unable to sleep but exhausted, it might be worth looking into a natural sleep aid to help get you back on track with sleeping. You can try melatonin or something like Bach Rescue Sleep Liquid Melts (not sponsored, Michael loves them). 

A few other things that can help you de-stress and sleep better: meditation and journaling before bed (as well as those yoga stretches). I can’t begin to talk about how beneficial meditation and journaling has been for me. I can tell a huge difference between when I’m consistently doing both and when I’m not. 

Neither of them have to be fancy. Find a meditation app like Headspace or currently I’ve been enjoying meditating to the music on the Calm app. And just grab an old notebook and write down what you’re feeling, what happened that day and anything that comes to mind. Get it out of your head  and onto paper, and I promise you’ll feel so much better after. 

Some people like to work through things on their own (hello that’s me), but consider opening up to a friend because you’d be surprised how many people are stressed or anxious and it can help to have someone to just talk to about it. 

In the end listen to your body. Pay attention to how you’re feeling, when you need to take a break, step back and breathe. And it’s so important to make self-care a focus. Give yourself ten minutes a day of “me” time and maybe a  bit more time on the weekend to focus on yourself. 

Stress is a pain and you can definitely stress more about being stressed, which can spiral out of control. Just being conscious of it, and willing to take the time work through it goes a long way. 

What are some of your ways you deal with stress? Beyond the things I talked about today I also enjoy running, being out in nature, bubble baths, deep cleaning my apartment and having at home spa dates with myself. 

I Meditated For 10 Days In A Row + What I Realized

One of my first days back from France, I was home alone working away on FemmeHead. I had cooped myself up all day so I decided to go outside on my long board since it was such a nice day out (and we’re creeping ever closer to the awful months of winter). 

It was a nice ride, but I remember coming back with this real sense of anxiety and stress in my chest, and I just remember thinking "I need to meditate". 

I had heard of an app called Headspace (no this is not a sponsored post, I wish). I decided to download it and give it a go. 

Ten minutes, I thought. I can do this.

I felt light years better afterwords. The anxiety had lifted from my chest and and felt a renewed sense of calm. So, I challenged myself to do the 10 free days of meditation in a row. 

I mean, honestly, who doesn’t have ten minutes out of their day to spare?

So, I began fitting it into my morning routine. 

+ wake up

+ write my morning pages

+ tidy for 15 - 30 minutes

+ meditate for 10

+ make a coffee/tea

+ make my to-do list

+ get started on work

On the morning of the tenth day I was sitting at my computer writing my Monday email for FemmeHead, and I could feel myself being pulled towards the red chair, pulled towards those ten minutes of calm.

Before these ten days I would meditate sporadically, never consistently. I thought I had to set up this sacred space (candles, intense, calm music, cushions, blankets and darkness) before I could begin meditating. And I thought I needed to do it for a long period of time.

As you can probably guess, because of this meditation always seemed like such a time consuming hassle that I rarely did it, which is a shame. 

What I’ve learned from these ten days is that I don’t need a sacred, pristine space. I can simply just sit down in the chair or lie down on the couch. 

There are no rules, I let my preconceived notions of meditation float out the window. 

It counts even if it’s just ten minutes, hell, even just one minute. 

I never thought I would like guided meditations. I thought I just had to sit there and keep my mind blank for 20 - 30 minutes, and that would work for me. 

At the end of my tenth meditation I went online and subscribed to a year long subscription, realizing that having someone guide me along is what I need at this point in my life, and there’s nothing wrong with that. 

I was having a rough day last week, and I found the calm I needed in that moment, in my breath. Yes, in simply just counting my breaths, 1 through 10 and starting over at 1 when I had reached 10. 

For at least a year now I’ve been drawn towards meditation, just knowing that it was something that would be really, really good for me. But I could never stick with it. Thankfully, I’ve found my solution for now. 

And my biggest take away — there is no right or wrong way to meditate. Let go of your preconceived notions of what it is supposed to do and find what works for you.