My Current Meditation Practice

I am far from perfect and consistent when it comes to meditation, but never-the-less I wanted to talk about mediation today, and share why I love it so much. 

I went to this talk/presentation about meditation while in college, and ever since then I’ve known that meditation was something I wanted to add to my days. 

But I struggled for so long because I didn’t understand how to do it. 

My solution came with a guided meditation app. 

And this might end up sounding like a sponsored ad, but it’s not. If anyone from Headspace is watching, hit me up. I’d love to work together. 

But yeah, Headspace is my meditation app of choice. (You get the first ten guided meditation practices free). 

I’ve found that the most beneficial time to meditate for me is early in the day. 

It’s just one of those things that sets you up for a good day. 

+ makes me a calmer, more balanced person. turns out it lowers your cortisol levels. 

+ helps me with focus, motivation and creativity. 

+ helps me sleep better, not laying there with 20 million things running through my head.

+ I better handle confrontation or stressful situations

+ feel so much brighter, lighter and positive overall

It’s one of my go-to’s if I’m ever feeling flustered, frustrated, distracted, upset. 

If I’m meditating for whatever reason I’m more likely to want to work out, eat fresh foods, which all in turn make me want to just take better care of myself. 

I try to do 10-15 minutes, which when you think about it, who doesn’t have 10-15 minutes? 

And you can do it anywhere. At home, outside, on the train to work, on a plane, in the car. 

But I can’t do it at the end of the day. I’ve tried to do it before bed, and I just end up failing asleep. 

It’s something I really would recommend everyone tries. 

I also think it’s cool that there’s even simple meditation practices for kids. I’ll definitely be doing that when I have kids. 

And as this process has gone along I have realized that I have found a similar meditative quality in other activities, whether that I journaling, listening to music, going on a walk, or being out in nature. And I am very grateful for this new awareness I have in my days. 

Picking Up Lost Habits

Sometimes life gets a bit hectic, and you loose track of your routine, those things that keep you balanced and sane. But when you don’t have time you have to just let go of certain things. And not feel guilty for it. 

Hopefully the time comes when you can return to those things that matter. And possibly weed out those habits that aren’t serving you. 

Life got a bit crazy for me over the month of May, and I let quite a few of my favorite things slip away, knowing I’d make my way back to them. But now that I’m getting back to the point of having the time again I have found I have to rebuild those connections to those habits. 

The three habits I’m referring to, and am frankly always talking about are:

+ journaling

+ yoga

+ meditation

Simple, daily tasks that can take anywhere from five minutes to an hour, depending on the day. But I know the benefits from each. 

Journaling is a way to cleanse my mind each morning. To clear out the junk as well as jot down those important memories and thoughts worth remembering. 

I journal in a few different forms. The most beneficial is morning pages, three pages of handwritten, streaming conscious thought. It is a way, like I said above, to excavate those things lingering from the past. Things that need to be addressed, talked about, thought about. It is a way to work through difficult things, annoyances, and to give light to moments that have really made my day. 

After I have taken the time to sit down and do morning pages (15-45 minutes) I am noticeably more focused, and able to stay on task throughout the day. Because often times the things that distract me from what I have at hand is something from the past, some thought or memory that has been nagging at my conscious. 

In a way journaling is a form of therapy for me. 

I also keep the type of journal that comes to mind when you hear the word "journal". 

Beyond that I also have two pages for each month in my bullet journal for what I call my “sparkly bits”. It is my daily gratitude. And from continuously practicing daily gratitude I am more in tune with the daily moments that bring me joy. 

Journaling is something I dabbled in starting at 8 years old, but didn't really pick up on at the age of 19. And it is something I no doubt will continue to do until the day I die. 

Next up, yoga. 

I first tried yoga in college. There was a free class for students a couple mornings a week. After graduating I hit a rough patch (ended a relationship and was lost with where I was supposed to head with my future). I rediscovered yoga, and it was more than I could have asked for at that point in my life. Over the next six months or so I did almost daily 6 a.m. hot yoga classes, all the while working 16 hour days and struggling with what to do with life. 

I have done yoga on and off since then. Not being able to afford classes (seriously, they are expensive), but knowing the benefit I have begun to do a daily practice from home. Either I move through sequences as they come to mind or I follow a video I’ve found online. Whether it’s five minutes, or 90 minutes, yoga feeds my soul. I come out of it feeling renewed, refreshed, incredible. 

And finally, the most recent addition to my life — meditation. 

Here is something that I’ve wanted to do for years, but could never quite figure out. 

I spent so long thinking it had to be one way, when in reality there are so many forms of meditation practice. 

And I found my form in guided lessons via the Headspace app. It came at a time in life where things were coming together but I felt lost, I felt off balanced and in a way out of control. I needed something to bring me back to center, and for whatever reason I knew my answer was meditation. 

I had heard of this particular app here and there. To be quite frank, it kept popping up, almost as if telling me I needed to give meditation another go. 

Meditation is another form of therapy, similar yet different from journaling. 

When I have a good daily meditation practice going I am so much more balanced — emotionally, mentally and it gives me that sense of spirituality (that I also get from yoga) that I could never find in organized religion. 

And the trick to all of this is timing. Creating space for it in your day. For me, in the past, that was journaling first thing in the morning for around an hour, then taking another hour around 2 p.m. to take a break from work, roll out my yoga mat, choose a video from online and end it with a meditation session during savasana. 

These three habits combined are a trifecta of mental health for me. And I hope from reading this today you can feel a burst of inspiration to rekindle that flame with those habits that nourish you. 

Setting Yourself Up For Success

Today I want to talk about things I do that are part of the process of getting shit done and going places in my life. I look back to just a few years ago when I had no direction in life and how I started and spent my days then vs. how I do now, and it’s a pretty staggering difference.

So I wanted to share my top 10 tips for setting yourself up for success. 

Stay organized — this has been a game changer. I always kept a planner throughout school to keep track of my due dates, activities and work schedule, but just in the past year and really actually the past few months I’ve taken it to the next level. I am a visual person so I like writing it all down where I can have it laid out in front of me. I do that in a few ways. On my computer I use Evernote to house all of my notes for blog posts, videos etc. Everything you see online comes from Evernote. I have created different notebooks for my YouTube channel, my website and my different courses. From here it is all easily searchable and accessible in one place. The other powerhouse to my organization operation is my bullet journal, which is a recent upgrade from a standard planner. I have a simple monthly spread complete with my five goals for that month, my content calendar for FemmeHead, a financial page to make my five money goals for the month as well as track all of my money coming in and going out each day. I have a brain dump where I put all of my ideas, things that need to get done, etc. I have a gratitude page because I think finding your sparkly bits each day is important. And then from there I have weekly spreads were I have a little weekly overview calendar for work, events, etc. a place for my five goals of the week and then I go into Monday with my tasks, etc. Having this bullet journal has been a life changer. I have been so much more productive and focused, it’s incredible. 

Keep your home tidy — Take time every single day to do a quick tidy. For me that is 15-30 minutes each morning where I make my bed, and then put any dishes, clothes, etc away from the day before. My mind functions so much better when I know there isn’t clutter sitting around my house. Right now we are going through some of Michael’s storage so there’s stuff out in the living room that can’t go back quite yet because we’re sorting through it and I’m really trying to not focus on it. I also like to take one day a week and do a deeper clean including vacuuming, wiping things down and doing laundry which can take like two or three hours, but it’s worth it. Just stay on top of it. 

Practice Minimalism — The above task is so much easier when you start with minimalism. Get rid of the crap you don’t want or need, and believe me there’s a lot of it when you’re first starting off. From there make sure every single item in your home has it’s dedicated spot, which makes cleaning easier. This isn’t about living in an empty white box with no belongings. I still have quite a bit of stuff, but it all has a purpose. I don’t keep things just to keep things. I only have stuff I love or need. And I’m not perfect at it, no one is. Don’t be hard on yourself because it’s process and often times it’s more about the journey. And minimalism has carried over into so many other aspects of my life — how I choose to spend my time, who I have kept in my life (friend wise), what I spend my money on, etc. Having less and doing less has allowed me to accomplish so much more in my life. 

Meditate — It’s something that I’ve wanted to add to my daily routine for years, but was unsuccessful for the longest time. It wasn’t until I discovered the guided meditation app, Headspace, that I was able to do it daily. [Not a sponsored post, I just really love the app]. It worked out so well in those first, free 10 days that I went ahead and got the yearly subscription. Doing this in my morning routine is one of those things that really sets me up for a productive, focused day. I feel much more level headed and open minded after I have done this in the morning. For others it may fit better into another time in their day but it works best for me in the morning. My routine is very important to me, and controls how the rest of my day goes. If I wait until bedtime to meditate it almost holds no power over anything, and I often fall asleep during it. 

Journal — I have been doing it for seven years, ever since I studied abroad in Thailand. It’s like therapy to me. And it’s a great way to document experiences, trips, and your life in general. I am able to read the thoughts and emotions of 19-year old Victoria and it’s such a weird, cool experience. And it helps remind me how far I have come if I’ve ever having a bad day. I journal in a few ways. I have a journal that is a bit more sacred than the rest which important thoughts, events and experiences go into. It’s not a daily thing. Something I do do every morning is write in my morning pages journal. It’s always just a random old notebook (I got a stack of them from my mom’s house) and it’s just three pages of streaming conscious thoughts. It’s a way for me to clear out all of the gunk from the day before, and it really allows me to be more clear and focused throughout the day when I don’t have those random thoughts floating around. And the final way I journal, is with my camera — filming trips, adventures and events that I want to remember or share. 

Lifestyle [diet, activities, sleep] — I used to eat cupcakes for meals, for days at a time. You can probably imagine the effect that had on me. Now, I keep a vegan diet and try and pack as many nutritious, unprocessed foods as possible into it. I’m not perfect and I do allow some wiggle room for the occasional junk food or dessert, but I focus on keeping it clean. I only partake in activities that will benefit and enrich my life. I have no issue with saying no. I don’t go out an party on the weekends, I don’t go out to eat frequently, those sort of things. And finally I keep a regular sleep schedule because I know how much sleep impacts my days. Some people can function off of four hours, I need eight. All of these things effect my energy, my body, my focus, motivation, everything. You have to respect your body and your mind, and make sure you are taking care of it through your lifestyle. 

Practice Gratitude — It was something that Michael introduced to me. I think even on our first date he was like, Ok let’s take a few moments to breathe and reflect on the day and then we’ll take turns sharing what moment we’re grateful for. And we still do this every now and then, but I do it on my own too. I have two pages every month in my bullet journal dedicated to my sparkly bits and every night I take a few moments to reflect on the day and find that moment I am thankful for. Doing this regularly just makes you a more optimistic, happy rainbows and unicorns sort of person. You start noticing moments throughout your days, and you’re like Oh, that could be my moment today. I don’t know it’s just a really cool process. 

Stay curious [never stop learning] — This may sound silly, but it’s something I live by. I think of everything I have taught myself and learned since leaving school and it’s astounding. If you have a question, find yourself the answer. If there’s something you’re interested in, go get a book from the library, research it online, watch videos, read blog posts and watch documentaries. I’m always searching to better myself. Not because I don’t like who I am or that I’m not proud of where I’m at in life, but just because I know there is so much that I still don’t know. And along these lines, don’t be afraid to reach out to someone. Even if you think there’s absolutely no way they would ever respond back, take the plunge and write them. I have connected to so many amazing people this way. 

Allow yourself to slow down during your period — Discovering the difference between the menstrual phases, emotionally and physically was a game changer. It all finally made so much more sense. When you listen to your body it’s amazing how much smoother it all goes. When I allow myself to slow down during my period and really just take it easy I am greeted with a happier period, less irritability, cramps, PMS, fatigue, etc. And when I take that time during my period to just kind of hermit myself off from the world I am rewarded throughout the rest of my cycle with more energy. You can only push yourself so far for so long before you’re going to crash and burn. Take the time to slow down, reflect on the past month, and think about what you want to accomplish in the coming month. 

Make time for friends + things outside of “work” — Especially when you start working for yourself, allowing yourself to stop working is a lesson that needs to be learned right away. I could waste away day after day tinkering around with “work” related tasks that really don’t need to be done and have no real impact on it all. Each day I pick out the top five things that I need to do that day to succeed and I tick those off first thing after my morning routine. Then depending where I am at in the day I will head to my brain dump page and see what else I can accomplish, but if I have to stop after those five tasks I will feel satisfied with my day. I allow my afternoons, and sometimes early mornings for friends and family. Whether that’s meeting up for a coffee or drinks and a movie, I try to meet up with people at least once a week. Because if not I would stay in my apartment and never leave. 

Phew, that was quite a bit wasn’t it, but these are some of the most important things in my life that I swear by. What are yours? 

How I Started Meditating Regularly

I’ve cracked the code!

Well, I’ve cracked my own personal code to making meditation a daily practice. It’s something I’ve wanted to do consistently for years now, but could never make it a habit. 

I just couldn’t get into it. And do you know why? 

I was approaching it all the wrong way. 

Last month I shared a story after I had meditated for 10 days in a row. But I knew I wanted to write about it more after I had done it consistently for a longer period of time, and share some thoughts on it. 

These are things that have helped me, and just a disclaimer — they may help you, but they may not. 

+ Don’t waste the time setting up the perfect “meditation” setting. I would spend fifteen minutes, setting up candles, incense, finding the perfect music playlist, cushions, blankets, etc. And as you can imagine, this became such the production that I didn’t want to take the time to do it. Meditation seemed like such a big task because I thought that was what it had to be. 

+ You don’t have to meditate for an hour. I’ve been doing ten minutes, you could choose only to do it for five. Then if you want to do twenty minutes, thirty minutes — go for it. But don’t think you have to do it for a big chunk of time. 

+ I thought I needed to sit in perfect silence, not a thought in my mind for the entire time, and that if I started thinking about stuff that I had failed. But what I’ve learned is to let the thoughts come in when they do, don’t judge them, just acknowledge that they came to the surface, and then let them float away. 

+ Meditating in the morning works better for me. If I try to do it before bed (I’ve done multiple times) I will fall asleep. I mean, it works really nicely to apply those techniques of breathing and such to your bedtime routine, but to actually get from meditation what I want (setting myself up for the day) I have to do it in the morning. 

+ I never thought  I would like a guided meditation. I thought it would be too distracting. But I discovered the app Headspace, and it has completely changed how I meditate. In fact it’s the only reason I’ve been able to do it consistently every day. This isn’t a sponsored post (I wish), but you can get the first 10 day pack for free. But after that I paid for the yearly subscription because I could see the benefits even after a few days. 

It has been an amazing addition to my morning routine. I love allowing myself enough time in the morning to write my morning pages, meditate, do a quick tidy, and make breakfast before starting in on my work for the day. 

I encourage you to give meditation a go if, like me, it’s something you’ve been wanting to try for awhile.  

I Meditated For 10 Days In A Row + What I Realized

One of my first days back from France, I was home alone working away on FemmeHead. I had cooped myself up all day so I decided to go outside on my long board since it was such a nice day out (and we’re creeping ever closer to the awful months of winter). 

It was a nice ride, but I remember coming back with this real sense of anxiety and stress in my chest, and I just remember thinking "I need to meditate". 

I had heard of an app called Headspace (no this is not a sponsored post, I wish). I decided to download it and give it a go. 

Ten minutes, I thought. I can do this.

I felt light years better afterwords. The anxiety had lifted from my chest and and felt a renewed sense of calm. So, I challenged myself to do the 10 free days of meditation in a row. 

I mean, honestly, who doesn’t have ten minutes out of their day to spare?

So, I began fitting it into my morning routine. 

+ wake up

+ write my morning pages

+ tidy for 15 - 30 minutes

+ meditate for 10

+ make a coffee/tea

+ make my to-do list

+ get started on work

On the morning of the tenth day I was sitting at my computer writing my Monday email for FemmeHead, and I could feel myself being pulled towards the red chair, pulled towards those ten minutes of calm.

Before these ten days I would meditate sporadically, never consistently. I thought I had to set up this sacred space (candles, intense, calm music, cushions, blankets and darkness) before I could begin meditating. And I thought I needed to do it for a long period of time.

As you can probably guess, because of this meditation always seemed like such a time consuming hassle that I rarely did it, which is a shame. 

What I’ve learned from these ten days is that I don’t need a sacred, pristine space. I can simply just sit down in the chair or lie down on the couch. 

There are no rules, I let my preconceived notions of meditation float out the window. 

It counts even if it’s just ten minutes, hell, even just one minute. 

I never thought I would like guided meditations. I thought I just had to sit there and keep my mind blank for 20 - 30 minutes, and that would work for me. 

At the end of my tenth meditation I went online and subscribed to a year long subscription, realizing that having someone guide me along is what I need at this point in my life, and there’s nothing wrong with that. 

I was having a rough day last week, and I found the calm I needed in that moment, in my breath. Yes, in simply just counting my breaths, 1 through 10 and starting over at 1 when I had reached 10. 

For at least a year now I’ve been drawn towards meditation, just knowing that it was something that would be really, really good for me. But I could never stick with it. Thankfully, I’ve found my solution for now. 

And my biggest take away — there is no right or wrong way to meditate. Let go of your preconceived notions of what it is supposed to do and find what works for you.  

Using Jet Lag to Your Advantage | Creating a Better Routine

If you keep up with me on Instagram or Youtube you know that I recently got back from my trip to France (a.k.a. my honeymoon). 

And do you know what? I’ve been doing a really killer job at coming back and reseting my routine and schedule for maximum productivity and mindfulness.

Today, I wanted to share with you how I’ve learned to use jet lag to my advantage. 

The first and most important step is looking at your flight schedule — what time are you leaving (A) and what time will it be when you get to (B). We woke up at 7:30 a.m. in Toulouse and we would be getting back to Des Moines around 10:00 p.m. (it ended up being more like 11:55 p.m. — thanks a lot American Airlines). 

So we could see that when we got home to Des Moines we needed to be ready to go to bed. 

Now, in between those two time slots was nearly 24 hours. When we finally got home to Des Moines it was nearly 7 a.m. in Toulouse. That my friends, is a lot of staying up, with maybe a short little nap, but only if you could restrain yourself from sleeping too long. 

So, that’s the first step. Plan out your flight so you’ll arrive in whatever location as close to the level of awake or tiredness that you need to be at. 

For me there is about a week of wiggle room after an international flight to reset my sleep schedule. You have to fight the urges to sleep (quick cat naps are OK), but I have no self-restraint when it comes to jet lag and napping so I avoid it. 

I’ve been putting myself to bed around 9:30 - 10:00 p.m and setting my alarm for 7:00 a.m. but I’ve been naturally waking up around 6:00 - 6:30 a.m. My golden sleep slot is 10:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. so that’s what I’m working towards. 

Now, a few things that I do in the morning when I get up earlier than 8:00 a.m. — I sit and write in my morning pages journal, which takes 20 - 30 minutes. I spend 15 - 30 minutes tidying up around the apartment because my brain functions incredibly better when there’s not a bunch of clutter around. I have been consistently meditating for 10 minutes every morning around 8:00 a.m. using the HeadSpace app. I then make myself a cup of coffee or tea, create my to-do list for that day, and then get to it. 

My days go unbelievable smoother when I am allowed this hour and a half to two hour routine I have for myself in the morning. 

Then each night I’ve tried to spend the first few minutes in bed just writing a little bit in my actual journal. 

These are a few of the things that get me excited to wake up in the morning, get out of bed and get moving o