A Forced Internet Break

One of my favorite things about traveling, especially abroad, is being disconnected. 

For the most part you just don’t have use of your phone because it’s in airplane mode and only works around wifi. 

And this past trip to France ended up being a real break from technology, social media and all things in between. 

I would still post to Instagram every other day or so. But I wouldn’t scroll through insensately after as I’ve been known to do.

I would take a peek at my email every few days to make sure there were no fires I had to put out, and I sent my mom a message a few times. 

Michael and I are both sort of workaholics. We just really get sucked into what we do. But it was a great chance to do something else. And to just be forced to do something else. 

We went on a lot of walks, either through the country or through the city, depending on where were were staying that day. 

We would make meals together and sit outside to eat them. 

We would start our day by waking up and having a cup of coffee together. 

We went on bike rides, hikes, and spent hours curled up around a fireplace with a few friends that came to visit having those conversations that leave you inspired and invigorated for life. 

We would sit down and read. We even went on a tour in Avignon!

And now that we’re home we both have really tried to bring a few things back with us. 

We went rock climbing the other day, we both have books we’re reading (or in my case five). 

We’ve been making more of an effort to hang out with friends and family. I went and saw my sister and nephew the day after I got back, the next week we went up to his sister’s for Halloween, and a few days later I went to hang out with two of my friends. 

And I’m looking forward to getting together with family now that the holidays are coming up. 

I always like to take vacations as a chance to reset as well as recharge. Take the time to analyze the aspects from your trip that you want to take with you into everyday life. 

What are some of the changes you’ve made because of a trip?

Discovering Hygge + Taking on Winter

To be honest, I think I discovered this on Pinterest. I think it was outlining what Hygge was, and I remember finding myself thinking, alright I like the sound of that. 

And it inspired me to make the conscious decision to approach winter in a different way. A similar way to how I now view my menstrual phase and the days leading up to it. 

It’s not my favorite phase, but I’ve amazed myself on how I’ve been able to change my mindset towards it. And that’s what I plan to do with winter this year as well. 

You see, I’ve always told myself I’m not a cold weather person. That I’ve never “liked” winter. There were even a few years in high school that I “protested” by not wearing a winter coat. Who do you think that impacted? Yeah, me. 

If you think you don’t like winter the last thing you should do is under dress for it. 

This year I’m preparing in every way possible. Physically, mentally and emotionally. Dramatic? Possibly, but I need a drastic attitude change. 

And I’m going to use hygge to guide me. 

I know I’m behind the times, and this was pretty popular last year, but if you’re unfamiliar to hygge here’s how it’s defined in a book I’m reading, “The Book of Hygge”:

"Hygge (pronounced “hoo-gah”) is a quality of presence and an experience of belonging and togetherness. It is a feeling of being warm, safe, comforted and sheltered. 

Hygge is an experience of selfhood and communion with people and places that anchors and affirms us, gives us courage and consolation.

To hygge is to invite intimacy and connection. It’s a feeling of engagement and relatedness, of belonging to the moment and to each other. Hygge is a sense of abundance and contentment. Hygge is about being, not having."

When I got back from France it was 30 degrees colder, and gray out. Instead of wallowing at home about the abrupt change, I decided to act on my desire for a different approach. 

I went to two stores, bought a new comfy sweater at the thrift store, and then soft sweatpants and two candles at a discount store. 

I headed home triumphant with my new things, lit my candles, took a nice hot bath and then snuggled up in my comfy finds ready to accept the cold weather with grace. 

Since coming home I’ve made a conscious effort each morning to “nourish my five senses”:

+ tidy up and light a few candles (sight)

+ put on soft music (hearing)

+ grab an incense (smell)

+ make a nice cup of coffee (taste)

+ and to wrap myself up in a blanket after clicking on my space heater (touch)

And then throughout the day I make sure that there’s something “comforting” for each sense. 

Another element of hygge that I’m really drawn to is the connection aspect. So, I’ve made it a goal to spend more time hanging out with friends and family. 

It doesn’t have to be in an extravagant way. My ideal “hang out” is being snuggled up, warm and comfy, drinking something hot or sipping on a glass of wine and just having good conversation. 

I know there’s still a lot I’m going to learn when it comes to this concept, but I’m wholeheartedly investing in it in the hopes of changing how I view winter and the cold from here on out. 

Books I've Finished, Am Reading + Will Read Next

I’ve been trying to consume more and more books recently. Whenever I travel I’m really able to dig into a few great books, because it’s what I dedicate my free time to, and it’s a great time to pass time as well. 

This fall I’ve read a lot of awesome books, and started a few more as well. 

So, today I wanted to share the books I’ve read and my thoughts on them, as well as the books I’ve started and the one’s I have sitting waiting to be read. 

Books I’ve Read:

Where’d You Go Bernadette — This one was on a recommended list so I decided to pick it up, and I ended up inhaling it. Told from the perspective of the bits of information the daughter has pieced together from emails, notes, etc. in search of where her mom has disappeared to. Highly recommended fun read! 

Worth It — I love a good book about money, and this one is from the founder of DailyWorth.com and digs into the relationship of women, their money and self-worth. 

Get Rich, Lucky Bitch — While Worth It was good, I loved this book by Denise Duffiled-Thomas. She takes you through all sorts of exercised, challenges and assignments to dig into your money mindset, and how to reprogram your perception of money and what you can achieve. Highly recommend for a boost of financial motivation! 

Vessels — A beautifully written book about love and loss. I had never really thought about the lasting effect of miscarriages until reading this book. It’s a quick read, but pick it up. 

Belly Laughs — I’ve never been pregnant or given birth, but I really enjoyed this hilarious read. It’s like reading emails from a best friend about all the gross, weird stuff that happens. 

Girls and Sex — Where to even begin. I loved this book. Peggy digs into the atmosphere teenagers head into surrounding sex, relationships, and all things in between. It was fascinating to realize similarities from when I was a teenager, but then also the huge difference that’s already happened. Pick it up if you have a daughter or if you were ever a teenage girl. 

Goodbye Things — This is one man’s story of his journey to minimalism, and while it was good I just feel like this is everyone’s story and therefore isn’t really exciting after you’ve read a number of them. I obviously love minimalism and am fascinated by it, but I’m ready for a fresh take on it.

The China Study — We read this one for book club, and it was fascinating. Going into it I didn’t realize it was going to be pro-whole foods plant based diet, but that’s exactly what it is. If you have any interest in nutrition, health or are mildly concerned about what you’ve putting into your body, pick this up. 

Small Great Things — I’ve always loved Jodi Picolt’s books. They take a topic that seems pretty straight forward at the beginning and tears it apart, showing both sides and all this aspects of it that never crossed your mind. This one is about racism, which we all know is beyond relevant still. 

Books I’ve Started:

Fen — So we chose this one for book club in the spirit of Halloween, and it’s unlike anything I’ve read. The author is a female a year older than myself, which I think is awesome, and she’s created this eery world, Fen, where there’s this creepy connection between animals and humans. This one reminds me of reading books for college classes and trying to dissect them and understand them by notes scribbled in the margins and rereading different sections. 

The Sun and Her Flowers — I loved Rupi Kaur’s first book so when I saw this in an airport I had to pick it up. But I’m trying to savor her poems (even though I could tear through them in a day). 

The Book of Hygge — I have to admit something. I discovered this term on Pinterest, but I have been so intrigued since then, and wanted to get a few books on the topic. It’s really inspired me to change how I approach the colder months. If you haven’t heard of “hygge” just get on Pinterest. 

Happy As a Dane — I found this one at the library when I was searching for books on hygge. I’ve known for awhile now that life in Scandinavia is something I’m curious about. And I’m excited to keep reading this little book. 

Women Who Run With the Wolves — a lovely woman I used to work with gave me this book as a birthday gift last year, and I’ve been meaning to read it. From what I’ve read I’ve come away with this sense of empowerment that is infectious. And I even saw it was on Emma Watson’s list. I plan to work through it a story at a time. 

The Rules Do Not Apply — I just started this one yesterday after picking it up at the library, and I feel like I’ve read parts of it elsewhere before. Regardless it’s been an interesting read. I’m still in the part where her life is still together but I know it’s all about her unconventional life falling apart. It’s one of there where turning page after page is effortless. 

Books On Deck:

The Nordic Theory of Everything — It’s the next book we’ll be reading for book club. The author moves to the states and this book is all about comparing how things are done between the states and the nordic region. I’m really looking forward to this book. 

Leaving Time — I decided to pick up another Jodi Picolt book from the library since I enjoy them so much. And I’ve been trying to add more leisurely reading to my days. This one is about a mother who disappeared, and the daughter who’s looking for her. 

The Little Book of Hygge — This book is everywhere when you type in “hygge” so I’m on the wait list at my library to check it out. I’m ready to learn more about the danish secrets to a happy life. 

There’s No Such Thing As Bad Weather — This winter season I’ve made it my goal to reframe my mindset about the cold weather in order to start enjoying it more, and to make the most out of it. And in my search for books on hygge this one came up and so like the previous book, I’m on the wait list for it. 

I'm so excited for the books I'm reading, and am going to read. What are some of your top recommendations?

I Started a Second Channel + What I've "Learned"

I started a second channel this summer, named it FemmeLife, and have been filling it with bits and pieces from my life. 

I’m still figuring out what exactly I want it to be, but I keep going because while I can’t exactly put my finger on it yet I know there’s something positive coming out of it. 

I want to expand it into more than just a vlog channel, and I will, but when I stop “filming” I miss it. It challenges me and I wanted to dig into what I’ve discovered so far. 

+ So, I’m really shy when it comes to filming in public. I can get b-roll shots of where I’m at, but how other vloggers walk down the street talking to their camera amazes me. 

+ It’s a great way to document my life, and it acts as a visual journal in a way. Sometimes my days can blend together a bit, but this helps me go back and have a little jolt of memory.

+ I think I’m going to rename it. When I started it I wanted it to be another arm of FemmeHead, a behind the scenes, so I named it FemmeLife, which I like, but it’s not quite there for me. I’ve been really leaning towards just using my name, which would open me up to do whatever I wanted with it. 

+ It challenges and motivates me. I never do things “for the vlog” but it is a great way to reflect on my days and to look back and say, wow you really didn’t accomplish anything yesterday, or look how much you were able to do!

+ It challenges and motivates others. I can’t tell you how many people have commented that I’ve motivated them to go for a run or how inspiring my attitude/lifestyle/etc. is. 

+ I get this creative fix out of editing the videos. It feels like there’s more freedom for creativity and to be a weirdo than on my main channel. 

+ Because I work from home I’m alone most of the day, which I love because I’m so much more productive, but things will happen and I’ll want to share it with someone, talk to someone about it, and I can do that through vlogs.

+ I got a smaller camera (Canon g7x) which makes vlogging so much easier. I also use my iPhone for when I don’t want to carry around that camera or for those times I want to film something without being “obvious”. 

Ok, so maybe you’ve played around with the idea of making some vlogs:

+ You don’t need fancy equipment or programs. Use the camera on your phone and iMovie, or whatever editing program comes with your computer. 

+ Get a variety of shots. I always enjoy my videos (not to mention editing the ones) that have more b-roll.

+ Quality over quantity. If I have a bunch of meh footage each day I’ll take the best clips and make a weekly vlog out of it instead of forcing something out of nothing for a daily vlog. 

+ Everyone says this but be yourself in all of your quirks and weirdness, viewers will enjoy watching that more. 

+ Share only what you’re comfortable with. You don’t have to tell your audience everything, keep some stuff to yourself. 

+ Along that same line don’t share other people’s life without asking them first. if it’s not your story don’t share it without permission because some people don’t want their life to be out on the internet.

+ While having a variety of good shots to chose from a lot of the magic comes in the editing process. How do you cut the clips and piece them together. Do you speed stuff up, slow stuff down, add music? Let your creativity come out.

+ Going along with that, you’re more than welcome to take inspiration from other people’s videos, but don’t copy what they’re doing. Every heard of Casey Neistat? He has a distinct vlogging style and it’s very obvious when others copy that style in their own vlogs. Be your own person. 

+ Continuity: does your story flow? If you start talking about something but then your next clip is something completely different how can you transition into that better or explain it? Some people are really good with soothing voice overs, but I don’t ever like voice overs, so I like to add text overlays to explain what’s needed. 

In the end there’s a lot to learn, but so much room and flexibility when it comes to playing around with making videos. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. You can (and will) continuously be changing and tweaking how you do it. Don’t be afraid to give it a go. Put yourself out there!

Getting Back to Reality After Traveling

Ok, so you’ve just gotten back from a great trip and you have to get back to reality. 

Here are some strategies I’ve found that really help me get back at it. 

+ Clean your home

All the way down to the vacuuming and dusting. Get all those stray dirty dishes popped into the washer, your laundry cleaned and put away, and take this opportunity to get all the little random bits and bobs back where they belong.

Nothing helps me more than getting my house in order. 

+ Go grocery shopping

I always aim to eat healthy while away, but in reality that doesn’t always happen. So, when I get home I am always rejuvenated to go get a healthy plant heavy grocery haul. 

And it’s just another step to getting everything in order at home, which once again does so much to make me feel better about being back and at it again. 

+ Tick off some to-do’s

Go through your mail or other things you’ve been avoiding. I took the chance Sunday morning to sit down and order a few things I needed offline including a new bullet journal and accessories for that (yay!) as well as a sunrise simulator alarm clock (more on that in a bit). I also ordered a new credit card seeing as I lost mine in Avignon while there (I think I threw it away).

+ Add in a habit or element discovered during trip

One thing I really noticed during this trip was how little I was on my phone, computer and such. And it was amazing! I always like to think I can disconnect myself, but it’s so nice to be forced to sometimes. So, I’ve been trying to carry that forward now that I’m home. 

Other things I do more of when I’m traveling: I read more books (so I went to the library), I have more adventure (Michael and I went rock climbing last night) and I came home with a renewed desire to meditate and journal more.

+ Accept the weather of where you are

It’s hard, especially when it’s 30 degrees colder, but I’m making a conscious effort this year to accept the cold weather and make the most out of it (snuggling into cozy slippers, blankets and all things warm). 

Right after I got back in town I went and bought a few candles, a new sweater and sweatpants and snuggled into my house.

Another thing I’ve done to help with this is ordered a sunrise simulator alarm clock for Michael and I. And it does exactly what it says. It mimics a sunrise in your room, and I can’t wait to get it because I can tell a big difference between waking up when there’s light out and when it’s still pitch black. 

+ Visit family and friends

I went and saw my sister and nephew the day after I got back, I had a nice long phone call with my mother the day I got back, Michael and I hung out with a few friends last night and I’ve made plans to get together with a few friends this week. 

+ Indulge in what did you missed while you were away

What I missed most were things like work, my own space and a routine. I really savored the first moments of getting back to work this morning, I was very aware and conscious of being in my home and therefore wanted to spruce it up and take care of it. 

+ Take some time to pamper yourself

I steamed my face with a warm washcloth, exfoliated it, put a hydrating mask on it and lathered my entire body with avocado oil after soaking in the bath surrounded by candlelight. 

It was magic.

I always fell a bit worn down and rough at the edges after traveling so it’s nice to take some time out for myself to get me back to 100%. 

+ Alter your schedule

I love using travel as an excuse to change things up.

For example I love being able to make the most out of jet lag and wake up earlier than normal. 

What do I went to spend more time doing, less time doing? 

Overall, while I love traveling, I am so thankful that I love coming home. But when I get home I like to hit the “refresh” button and do all these things before digging back into my day to day life. 

Winter Is Coming + How I'm Dealing With It

I have never been a fan of winter, or of being cold. 

Recently I’ve discovered a similar transition into the colder months that I experience with my luteal/menstrual phase. 

And I’ve come up with a theory (and since then have seen other ladies talk about it as well). But my theory is that the different phases of our menstrual cycles correlate to different months. And by that I mean we have a similar feeling during that phase that we do in that phase. 

It could differ person to person, and be dependent on where you live. But for me it goes a little something like this:

Luteal Phase = Fall

Menstrual Phase = Winter

Follicular Phase = Spring

Ovulatory Phase = Summer 

Cold weather has always been something I’ve struggled with and even fought at different times. But this year I am taking a different approach. 

The same approach I have when I’m headed into my luteal and menstrual phase. 

And the two big strategies there are: 

+ Allowing myself to slow down. I love a fast paced, super inspired, productive day, but we all know that can’t happen every day. Mid way through my luteal phase I notice the pull to slow down, and I’ve really challenged myself over the past year or so to listen to that. 

I’ve been pleasantly surprised when I do. And I’m going to approach winter the same way. 

+ I recently discovered the Danish term “hygge” (pronounced hoo-ga) and while it looks like I’m behind the times, something about it resonated with me. And in particular during my period, and now as it is getting colder.

I saw it described as:

- the art of building sanctuary and community, of inviting closeness and paying attention to what makes us feel open hearted and alive;

- to create well-being, connection and warmth;

- a feeling of belonging to the moment and to each other;

- celebrating the everyday

Doesn’t that sound just absolutely freaking lovely?  

And I’ve realized. It’s ok to transition to “delights" of winter, warm baths, hot drinks, curling up with a good book, sitting in front of a fire place, spending time with family, wearing warm, cozy clothes, fuzzy socks, and just making your space into a place you can sink into comfort and relaxation in. 

Seriously, go on Pinterest and dive into the world of hygge for a moment (if you haven’t already of course). 

Now, a few other things I plan to focus on this fall and winter:

+ Setting a sleeping schedule and sticking to it. The days are getting shorter and darker and while I love waking up with the sun, it’s not making it’s appearance until around 7:30 am. 

I love my mornings when I wake up at 6 a.m. because the stat of my day is the best time for me. When I start my day sooner I feel calmer, accomplished, and less rushed.

+ Going along with that we’ve decided that we’re going to buy a sunrise simulator clock when we get back from France.  A friend of mine got one last year and swears by it saying it was a revolutionary purchase. And I’m ready for that. 

+ And finally is something I try to do year round, but it’s especially important (and slightly more difficult when it’s cold) is to exercise and eat a balanced diet of whole plant based foods. 

Heading into winter with this strategy makes me feel much more accepting of the weather and at ease with the transition. 

Not to mention we’re already talking about how we can escape the worst of it in January and February.

Foods For the Different Phases Of Your Cycle

I’ve had countless women ask for me to cover this topic. I haven’t reached this level of cycle/nutrition connection, but I know it’s possible. 

How? 

From reading different books like Alisa Vitti’s “WomanCode” which I recommend for anyone out there with a serious menstrual issue like PCOS or Endometriosis. 

Today is a small taste of what’s in that book, which you should definitely pick up if you’re interested in the subject. 

I try to eat a balanced diet of whole plant based foods (WPBF), and so I’ve included that portion of her food suggestions today. 

Menstrual Phase:

+ healthy fats

+ root veggies

+ water rich fruits and veggies

What you’re looking to do: be conscious of both giving your body the nutrition it needs but at the same time some comfort food goes a long way in soothing during our menstrual phase. Fats help keep mood stable. 

Grains: buckwheat and wild rice

Veggies: beet, burdock, pulse, hijiki, kale, kelp, kombu, mushroom, wakame, water chestnut

Fruits: blackberry, blueberry, grapes, cranberry, watermelon

Legumes: adzuki, black soybean, kidney bean

Nuts + Seeds: chestnut, pumpkin, flax

Other: Bancha tea, miso, sea salt, liquid aminos 

Follicular Phase: 

+ sprouted and fermented foods

+ light, fresh and vibrant foods

What you’re looking to do: estrogen is dominate in this phase and you’re looking to balance this hormone out.

Grains: barley, oat

Veggies: artichoke, broccoli, carrot, lettuce, parsley, green peas, rhubarb, string bean, zucchini

Fruits: avocado, lemon, lime, orange, plum, pomegranate, sour cherry

Legumes: black-eyed pea, green lentil, lima bean, mung bean, split pea

Nuts + Seeds: brazil, cashew, lychee, pumpkin, flax

Other: nut butter, olives, pickles, sauerkraut, vinegar

Ovulatory Phase:

+ fresh juices

+ fresh, whole veggies

+ fiber rich foods

What you’re looking to do: eat plenty of foods to keep estrogen moving through body.

Grains: amaranth, quinoa

Veggies: asparagus, bell pepper, brussel sprouts, chard, chicory, chive, dandelion, eggplant, endive, escarole, okra, scallion, spinach, tomato

Fruits: apricot, cantaloupe, coconut, fix, guava, persimmon, raspberry, strawberry

Legumes: red lentil

Nuts + Seeds: almond, pecan, pistachio, sesame, sunflower

Other: Tumeric

Luteal Phase:

+ greens

+ grains

What you’re looking to do: eat plenty of foods rich in b-vitamins, calcium and magnesium to help with mood swings

Grains: brow rice, millet

Veggies: cabbage, cauliflower, celery, collard, cucumber, daikon, garlic, ginger, leeks, mustard green, onion, parsnip, pumpkin, radish, squash, sweet potato, watercress

Fruits: apple, date, peach, pear, raisin

Legumes: chickpea, navy beans

Nuts + Seeds: hickory, pine nut, walnut, sesame, sunflower

Other: mint, peppermint, spirulina

I’ve heard a lot of people talking about intuitive eating for awhile now, and if you haven’t experienced what that actually is then I guarantee it can be quite confusing. 

We’ve been told for so long that certain things (I’m mostly referencing to animal products) are good for this that and everything when it comes to a “balanced” diet when in reality eating this way has been recking our bodies for years now. But we think, we’re doing what we’ve been told to do, eating what we’ve been told is a balanced diet so feeling this way must just be normal. 

Well, I can tell you that it’s not. I spent the majority of my life dealing with issues related to what I was eating without even thinking about it. It was only when I switched to a plant based diet that this light bulb came on. When I started feeling better and better I just thought, how did I spend all my life feeling like crap and thinking that was normal for me? 

So, while some people thrive on a strict, go big or go home diet, I encourage everyone to start recalling paying attention to what they’re eating on a daily basis, and how those foods are making you feel. And if there’s something that time and time again comes up as problematic, take a week break from it and see how you feel. 

Listen to your body and I guarantee you’ll be pleased with the results. 

Using Pinterest to Create Dream Board

I love the concept of dream boards. 

My teenage bedroom was essentially four walls of dream boards, or whatever I decided was worthy of getting cut out of a Teen Vogue and taped on my wall. 

I don’t collect magazines anymore, nor do I find my “dream life” in them. 

But do you know what has come along since my moody teenage days?

Pinterest. 

I don’t even have to explain what it is: the internet’s dream board. 

We’ve all spent countless hours pinning drool worthy recipes, outfits that are a little too perfect and a detailed plan of our dream wedding before we even had serious boyfriends. 

I’ve seriously curbed my Pinterest addiction since college, but I’ve found it a cathartic exercise to collect and curate different aspects of the dream life I strive for.

In January I chose two guiding words for 2017: Ignite and Radiate. And I created a board of different images and quotes that spoke to those words that I’ll scroll through every now and then. 

And one of the best features of Pinterest? Secret boards. 

No more scouring magazines, scissors and glue for this girl. 

My most recent secret board creation? One I dubbed, “Beautiful Abundance” where I put all the things I’m working to manifest in my life. 

And if you hear the term “manifest” and want to gag a little bit, stick with me. I was once in your shoes not that long ago. 

Then I discovered “Letters to the Universe”, dipping my toes into manifesting, and things started to happen. 

I asked the Universe for freelance opportunities and I got an email from a gal I went on to do a internship/mentorship for. 

I asked for more money opportunities, and my mom called to ask for help with two painting jobs, totaling over $1600 in less than three weeks. 

“I’ve got to put this power to good use!” I thought. 

So, back to my “Beautiful Abundance” board. I created it as a place to put all the things I wanted to manifest for my future. And not my “where will you be in 10 years” future. My 6 months - 5 years plan. 

While it’s obviously important to consider where you want to be in 15 years time I think so many people spend all their wishing on years and years down the road. 

What about the life we’re living in the here in now? 

Why not focus on that? I know I am. 

Fill your dream boards, your vision boards, whatever you want to call them with things that make you feel something. That get you excited to work towards your goals. 

I don’t know about you, but I’m a visual person so actually seeing something versus just writing it down (which I also think is important) sparks something different in my brain, making it seem like more of a possibility for reality. 

So, go and spend some time on Pinterest (I’m giving you permission) and make a board that is just for curating your dream life. Don’t hold yourself back, fill it with images, words and whatever else feel right to you. 

Go back and look back on it here and there, edit it and refine it to keep it up to date with what you want. And just let it soak in, think about how it would feel to have or be whatever it is. Visualize that, and magical things will start to happen. 

Bleeding Through Everything While Running

I remember when I first saw the story about Kiran Gandhi and her infamous London Marathon. 

"Bad ass," I thought. And I wonder if I would do the same in her situation? 

Well, I haven’t reached the marathon mark, but I sure am training for one. 

And can I just say, when it rains, it pours when it comes to running and your period. Not every time, but we all have that one day. That one day where your period has a mind of its own. 

I’ve bled through multiple pairs of jeans, two of those being in the same day. On one occasion, back when I was still waitressing I could feel it happening, which led to me having to run home quick to change (thankfully I lived only a block away). It took only a wide-eyed gesture to the crotch of my jeans to a coworker to cover me while I was gone. “Oh nooo…. wow,” was her response. 

The first time it happened while I was running, I was already a mile into my run when I could feel it starting. Shoot, I thought. Hmm, should I turn around and run home? Or chance it? Screw it, I’m going to keep running. 

And so I kept running. 

Did I bleed through everything? You bet. But, I tucked my shirt into the back of my pants in a “sweatshirt around the waist” attempt. 

That’s happened twice now. 

Looking at the predictions in period tracker app, my period should be over (by a day or two) by the time my marathon rolls around. But that’s just a prediction and cycles can shift this way and that, so who knows what my fate for that day actually holds. 

I remember in high school when the worst thing that could happen was the possibility that you would leak through your pants. We all fed each other horror stories of embarrassment. 

The girl in the white pants. 

The girl who left a puddle of blood on her chair. 

They go on and on. 

If you ever leave a pool of blood in a chair, you deserve an medal because that’s an accomplishment. 

It’s inevitable that you’re going to bleed through countless things in your lifetime, and I’m going to let you in on a little secret: life goes on. It’s not the huge deal people make it out to be. I bet 99% of the time you’ll be the only one who knows it happens. 

It’s always me that feels the need to let someone else in on my situation. Look what happened!

If you skinned your knee and it was slowly pooling into a patch on your knee, would you be embarrassed? 

Hell no. 

I’ve decided to not let it be something that embarrasses me anymore. Because it doesn’t. I’m over it. I’ve got bigger things in life to concern myself with.  

So laugh it off and share it with a friend. 

Why I Have $100,000 On My Wall

Last week I wrote a post about lessons I had learned from the book “Get Rich, Lucky Bitch” which I devoured and thoroughly enjoyed. 

One of the glaring realizations was that I had this subconscious belief that I only deserved to make the bare minimum needed to survive. 

But what happens when your goals change, what you want changes? What if a house and a family doesn’t seem so distant? 

The answer: you’re going to need more money. 

I realized that I thought making more money than I “needed” was greedy. That I should only want what I need and nothing more. 

Why set big goals if you have enough now?

Well, I realized it wasn’t about being ungrateful for what I already have. It’s about growing, as a person, as a business, and it’s OK if you desires and goals change. 

It doesn’t take much money for me to support myself at this point in life. I’m pretty proud of that fact, but I also discovered that the idea of making “a lot” of money freaked me out, gave me these weird, cringey feelings that I didn’t like. 

In the book she talks about clients who had the goals of making six figures, seven figures, and each time I found myself a bit bug eyed thinking, “That’s sooo much money!” 

When I thought about what it would be like to make six figures I found myself really uncomfortable with the idea of that much money. 

I’m a far way off from that income goal, but how could I ever expect myself to seek out more money if I wasn’t even comfortable with the idea of making more money. 

Essentially, I was repelling money and opportunities that led to more money because I didn’t think I needed it nor deserved it. I was uncomfortable with it. 

So, I’ve started doing a few things to change my attitude towards making more money. 

One, slightly absurd, thing I’ve done is put “$100,000” on the bottom of my felt letter board that sits on my desk. 

And when I first put it up there I would hide it behind candles, embarrassed that it was even there. But slowly, as I sit down and look at it every day I’m becoming more and more comfortable with it. Slowly but surely it doesn’t seem so absurd, it doesn’t seem so greedy, it doesn’t seem so impossible. 

I’ve also started putting up little positive money affirmations on sticky notes above my desk. 

I’m slowly chipping away at my preconceived notions about income and self-worth. 

I want things in life, and I want them sooner rather than later. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Having goals doesn’t make me greedy. I’m not harming anyone to get there. 

I love learning about personal finance and money mindsets. Money will probably always be taboo, but it doesn’t mean I can’t change my own attitude towards the matter. 

What are some of the big money lessons you’ve learned so far in life?

Luteal/Menstrual Phase Funk

Even though I’ve dug into, and learned to love all aspects of my cycle, I am still caught off guard time to time by that week that overlaps the end of one cycle and the start of the next. 

It falls on the last few days of the luteal phase and first few days of the menstrual phase (your period). 

Today, I wanted to go over what I notice during this week and how I deal with it:

+ I am TIRED, exhausted, to a point that coffee can’t combat. 

I go to bed earlier, sleep in just a little longer, and I don’t feel guilty about it. And if there’s a day I need a nap, I take a 30 minute to an hour long nap, and don’t feel guilty about it. 

I get outside more, or just go out and run an errand. Getting up from my desk and out of my apartment usually gives me a little boost.

+ My motivation goes straight out the window.

This one is so much harder to accept than feeling tired. I get frustrated when I don’t feel that usual spark for work I normally have. 

There is only one way to handle this. Cut down your to-do list to what absolutely must get done that day. And focus on getting that done, give yourself more time and more breaks throughout the day. And if that’s all you accomplish, congratulations, celebrate it!

You can be productive on a different level when your motivation is low. Find that balance, that happy medium. 

+ Feeling blah, meh, wanting to curl up in a ball and do nothing.

There’s a time and a place to just let this take over, and I’ll usually allow myself one day to be a human blob. But if you’re going to do it, commit to it, don’t feel an ounce of guilt and really just bask in the glory of doing absolutely nothing. 

I also find time for mindless tasks I don’t make time for during the rest of the month. Usually decluttering or deep cleaning, organizing or sorting. Things that are on your to-do list but aren’t top tier essential must do's. 

+ Feeling more blue and gloomy than usual.

This is the time to pamper yourself. With food, with bubble baths, music, whatever makes you feel loved by yourself. 

It’s also a great time to do some reflection on life. Look at what you’ve been spending your time working on, or doing lately. Are you happy with how you’ve allocated your time? Are there things you wish you would make more time for? What changes can you make going forward to curate your days into what you want them to be? 

This phase (or combo of phases) is pretty much the same as the end of fall, headed into winter. Think about when the weather starts to get colder than you're comfortable with, the days get darker, shorter, more gray. You don’t just stop living because it’s not as exciting and fun. You learn to adapt and change your habits during the colder months. 

Learn to look at your cycle in a similar light. How can you adapt to make the most out of each phase? 

Lessons From "Get Rich, Lucky Bitch"

I don’t know about you, but I love reading books about money. And I’m not talking about financial planning (that’s important too), I’m talking about unpacking our beliefs and mindsets surrounding money. 

Because I’m always so surprised with how many there are. And not only that but recognizing how they are inadvertently impacting my day to day decisions, and therefore my overall financial well-being. 

I recently tore through the book, Get Rich Lucky Bitch by Denise Duffield-Thomas, which digs into how our subconscious money mindsets can be sabotaging our financial possibilities. 

It’s chock full of inspiration, so I recommend picking it up if you're into that sort of stuff, but I wanted to go ahead and share some of those nuggets with you today. 

You’re going to have to dig into your money past if there’s any hope for your future. And that’s because how you’ve been raised to feel and think about money most definitely is impacting your relationship with money today. 

Start from your earliest memory about money and work your way up.

Give yourself time to do this exercise, it takes awhile and the more time you spend with it, the more memories come up. You’re going to have to deconstruct how those memories could be impacting you still today.  

Every day write down a list of all the money that comes into your life. Like attracts like, so the more money you realize you have the more money will start flowing to you. 

When you think you don’t have enough, when you don’t know how much you actually have you can be a bit more careless with your money. You might be twiddling away your money in tiny increments for things that you don’t even actually want or care about. 

And when I consistently do this exercise I am amazed with the abundance I actually have compared to what I thought I was making. I’m far from a millionaire, but there have been plenty of months where I make double or triple of what I think I’m making, all because I wasn’t keeping track of it. 

Put yourself in situations where you feel rich. Expect good things to happen to you. Lucky people are overwhelmingly grateful and take responsibility for their lives

She also suggest reprogramming yourself to say yes to money and opportunities to make money. I found three dollars on the floor of a bathroom at a campground. Gross? Probably. But you bet your sweet tushy I snatched that money up and said "YES! Thank you Universe!" Be grateful for what you have. 

Emotions live in our bodies. If you don’t try and feel wealthy now with what you have, you won’t feel wealthy with a million dollars.

Yeah really nice cars are cool, but I’m so grateful for owning my dream bike (a Bianchi), and know that it is more than enough when it comes to the realm of transportation. If you can’t find gratitude in what you have now, you’re never going to be satisfied because there will always be something bigger, something better, something newer to get. Don’t get trapped in that cycle. 

Money loves clarity. When you know exactly WHAT you’re working towards, you will start to act in more positive ways towards your goals. Write down numerical values next to each of the goals, so you know how much it is actually going to cost you to have it. Change the rules of how you think you have to get it. Like farts, goals are better out than in, so release them into the world and onto some paper today!

Get clear with what you want because how are you expected to get something if you don’t know what it is? We all wish for more money, but why do we want more money? What is it that we want to have or do? And how realistic is that goal? Take travel for example, it’s something almost everyone wants to do, but don’t think they can afford. I’ll let you in on a secret, it’s so much more attainable than you think. 

Worse Case Scenario exercise. Voicing those little fears, even if they’re completely irrational, releases their hold on you and you can feel good about becoming rich. You can’t create an amazing life and receive outrageous abundance with an underlying fear that you’re a bad person. 

This was a fun exercise. So, you’ve written out your goals, what you want. Now it’s time to write down all the bad things that could possibly happen if you achieved those goals. 

“My partner will feel inadequate."

“I’ll spend it all."

“I’ll turn into a bad, greedy person.” 

As you look back over the list you’ll start to see how crazy those beliefs are, but it doesn’t change the fact that they’re there, and could be stopping you from reaching for more. 

You might find yourself thinking, “I shouldn’t want that”. It’s like at some point we’ve been told you shouldn’t want to have the best. It’s so common for women to put unconscious limits on how much they are “allowed” to earn. 

Isn’t this the truth? I’ve realized that I’ve been conditioned to think it’s greedy to want more than what you need to survive. How silly is that? And I’ve also recognized that continuing with this belief is going to limit me from reaching big goals I want in the near future: Buying a house, starting a family. Those things take money, and it’s not a “bad” thing to want those things. 

It’s so important to surround yourself with success; we are so influenced by the people around us. Connect with women who are going where you want to go. Everyone you are with on a day-to-day level, your friends, your success team, your partner, needs to be lifting you up not dragging you down with obligation, negativity and poverty mindset.

This is true in all areas in life. Do you and your friends spend your time together complaining about one thing or another? We’re all guilty of it. But you need to start living the life you’re trying to achieve. Whether it’s putting yourself into situations to expand and grow, reaching out to someone who inspires you or meeting up with women you find inspirational. Surround yourself with what you want to be in the world. 

Your income is unlimited. Your potential is unlimited. 

I just want to end with this today. We are constantly limiting ourselves to what we think we can achieve. But if you head out into the world telling yourself you are limitless you start to notice things, people, opportunities, ideas. And you go for it because you’re not limiting yourself to where you’re currently at in the world. 

My Daily Routines + Habits

I’m on a constant quest to fine tune my daily habits and routines in order to reach optimal life for myself. 

I spent a lot of my life living for the future, for the possibility of what could happen one day, but I’ve learned to appreciate the time I have (nothing’s guaranteed). 

I’ve been trying out a few new daily habits that I wanted to share with you today. 

Positive Affirmations

This is one of those things that I saw as frou-frou for a long time. But I can’t begin to describe the impact that your thoughts have on your actions and your emotions. 

Some may scoff at me, but I’m a big believer in you get what you put out into the Universe (not always obviously, but I’ve noticed a trend). 

If I’m in a super negative, everything sucks, life sucks, sort of mood, guess what I’m going to get? More negative things. This could be partially because when you’re in a bad mood you only notice the bad things, but I think there’s something else at play. 

So, something I’ve started doing is writing down a daily positive affirmation and putting it somewhere in my line of sight for the day. Every time I catch a glimpse of it out of the corner of my eye I stop what I’m doing and say it out loud to myself, letting it sink in. 

Recently, I have been focusing on positive money affirmations because it’s amazing how many subconscious beliefs I have about money (and I just read a book about this). Mostly surrounding the thought that money isn’t bad, or greedy. It’s a tool. If you have negative beliefs about money you might be saying no to opportunities without even recognizing them. 

Writing Down my Goals

I’m a big supporter of goal setting. 

Dr. Gail Matthews, psychology professor at the Dominican University in California found that people are 42% more likely to achieve their goals when they write them down. 

And my thoughts about it are this: 

If you take the time to sit down and write out your goals, first you have to actually decide what it is you’re striving for. You’d be amazed to realize that you don’t even know what it is that you want. And how are you supposed to achieve something you didn’t know you wanted in the first place? 

Goals help guide me in my day to day actions. I’ve learned to break bigger, long term goals down into small, tangible steps. 

Take money for example. Almost everyone wants to “make more money”, but how many have taken the time to sit down and write out what we individually need to survive, what we need to buy a house or a car, what we need to actually go on that dream vacation? 

We look at these things as far off, some day goals, when in reality we could start working towards them today. 

Setting My Intentions

If you’ve ever been to a yoga class there a chance the instructor has asked everyone to take a moment to set an intention for the class before beginning. 

This is kind of in the realm of “goal setting”, but it’s slightly different. 

For me an intention is more like a theme to guide me through the day rather than a task to complete. 

Common intentions are to “be more present in the moment”, “to find gratitude in the small stuff” and usually something to do with being “positive”. 

Reading

It’s something I’ve loved to do since the age of four when my mom first taught me how to. 

But actually making the time to sit down and read can be a bit tricky. We get sucked into doing other things like scrolling through social media, watching Netflix or waiting until right before bed to read, only to fall asleep after a few minutes. 

Travel is a time that I make it a clear goal for more time to read. I don’t like working on the plane and much prefer to curl into a good book. And when you’re traveling you have plenty of down time, or moments of waiting where a reading is a perfect activity. 

I’ve also allowed myself to read more on the weekends or after work. It’s something that brings me so much joy so I’ve been making more of conscious effort to create space for it. 

Running

If you’ve been following along for the past few months you may have noticed that I have started talking about running. 

And this is was not something I did. It was something I avoided. But it’s the perfect combination of achieving two goals: get outside more, and move my body each day. 

And as I’ve found my stride, conditioned my lungs and strengthened my legs I’ve been able to find a certain meditative quality to running. 

I don’t always want to go out and run, but I’ve never once regretted going for a run when it’s done. No matter how bad I hurt after. 

Gratitude Journal

It’s something I’ve been keeping up with for almost a year now.

Each month I dedicate two pages in my bullet journal to my “Sparkly Bits” and each day I will take the time to write out a few things, or just one thing, that I was grateful for that day. 

Keeping a gratitude journal, like most types of journals, help separate the days. Without journaling my days can seem to slip into each other, and when that happens it’s always a shame. It’s like I’m losing time, experiences and memories. 

And if you can get consistent with your gratitudes you’ll start to notice more moments in your days where something will catch your eye (or mind) and you’ll kind of step back and say “Wow, that could be my sparkly bit for the day.”

Limit Social Media

Finally, one of the hardest habits to break. 

There is a time and a place for social media, especially in my line of work being all online. 

But there is a big difference between constructive social media use and mindless scrolling. 

And it’s the mindless scrolling I’m working to cut back on. I’ve been trying to limit myself to only scrolling through social media during different times of the day. Like when I’m going to the bathroom. (Weird? Gross? Who cares. It’s a limited amount of time where I’m aware of the time rather than losing myself in it). 

I’ve tried to cut my social media before bed as well as when I wake up. We’ve all been guilty of scrolling till our eyes burn before bed, and reaching for our phone as soon as we wake up in the morning. 

I’ve also noticed that I use it as a social crutch when I’m out in public for uncomfortable situations. 

On the elevator with a stranger?

Pull out your phone. 

Waiting for someone at a restaurant?

Pull out your phone. 

The list could go on and on, but you get the point. 

In the end these are a few of the things I’ve been trying to add, or subtract, from my life in order to be the happiest, best version of myself. 

Now, I’m curious to hear, what are some daily habits you’ve found to be beneficial? 

Dating Your Husband (Spouse, Partner, etc.)

What happens after you get married? What changes? 

Personally, it seemed like the only thing that changed was the need to change my last name. Why is that so hard by the way? I’m currently still floating in this limbo of being Jones on some things and Zimmerman on others (and I’ve been married for almost a year). 

I get asked “how’s married life” all. the. time. And my honest answer is “not a whole lot has changed”. These is this certain degree of comfort and ease that comes with being married. 

I know some people move into a house, or have some other big life change when they tie the knot, but Michael and I just carried on living in our apartment that we’d already been sharing for the past three years. 

But at the same time, the more I thought about it, the more I was happy there weren’t any “big” changes. You hear all the time about people getting married and then discovering these pet peeves about their spouse, big rifts that ultimately end the relationship. 

My biggest pet peeves about Michael is that he leaves food particles in the dish brush, and doesn’t always get tissues into the bathroom garbage bins. Hardly marriage ending things. 

But what are you supposed to do when you go from “dating” someone to spending a lot of time with them? 

How can you still date your husband? (And I’m not saying this in some silly magazine headline type of way).

Well, here are some things that Michael and I have put an emphasis on:

Keep the conversation alive.

It’s so easy to get sucked into the habit of surface level conversations (I’m guilty of it too!). “How was work today?” “What do you want to do for dinner?” “What should we do this weekend?” 

And while this is true for all relationships (friends, family and work colleges) it’s especially important for healthy romantic relationships. 

Intellectual conversation is worth it’s weight in gold. 

For some it might come naturally to dig deep into conversations. For the rest of us it takes effort.

Set aside time to keep up with current events (there’s a healthy balance to find between being ignorant with what’s going on the world and feeling like the world is hopeless and going to end any day now.)

Read books, challenge yourself to learn something new every now and then. Because sharing funny cat videos are only going to work for so long. 

And don’t be afraid of having challenging conversations where maybe you don’t agree. Don’t get frustrated, neither of you are out to get the other. Keep an open mind, but stand up for what you believe in. 

Keep going on “dates”. 

While there’s a difference in dating at the start of a relationship and when you’re years into it, that doesn’t mean you should stop having date nights. 

Michael and I are nerds who at every opportunity will shout “date night!” when we’re doing anything “date” related. 

Making dinner and eating together at home? 

“Date night!"

Going to cheap movie night?

“Date night!"

Curling up in bed and watching Netflix?

“Date night!” 

As you can see it’s easy to turn almost every situation into a fun “date”. It’s also fun to plan more traditional dates as well. 

It helps some to choose a night of the week. Tuesdays seemed to be the most consistent date night for awhile, but that doesn’t stop us from having some Sunday afternoon fun either. 

Make time for activities besides Netflix. 

Hey, there’s nothing wrong with Netflix. I’m an avid fan (hence the mention in the section above), but for everyone out there that’s ever been in a relationship you know that couples get into “routines”. And while there is absolutely nothing wrong with that (this girl loves structure and routine) you’ve got to spice it up every now and then. 

A great place to head is an event calendar. Find a show or an event that’s going on in your town. Better yet is there a lecture at a local college you can go to together and then have a discussion about your thoughts afterwords? (See how I’m killing two birds with one stone?)

Getting outside is important for all aspects of life, and something that is key for both of us. Making time for outdoor physical activities is a great way to spend time together while being “healthy”. Or relax at a park with a picnic or a hammock and a good book. Sometimes it’s nice to just spend time together while doing your own things. 

Don’t forget to give each other space. 

Normally, when you first start seeing someone you’ll meet up for a date, spend some time together and then go your separate ways for a few days. But when you move in with someone, or marry someone, that time together can get “overwhelming” if you don't make time for yourself. 

There’s nothing wrong with wanting alone time. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other. 

Because Michael and I both work for ourselves we could literally spend almost every waking (and sleeping) minute together. And I’m sure we spend more time together than the average couple. But we have found a healthy way to separate ourselves. 

During the “work” day he goes to his office and I work from my home office. There have been plenty of times where we’ll both work from home or I’ll go work from his office, and I find that I’m less productive when he’s there (and anyone else for that matter). 

And going along with this, spend time with friends, family and other people who aren’t your partner. Having relationships outside your “relationship” are oh so important. We’ve all had that friend (or been that friend) who only spends time with their partner, or is never without them. But you have to continue to develop yourself as a person outside of that relationship. 

I suppose this advice goes for anyone in a relationship. You definitely don’t have to be married to use any of it. So regardless of whether you’ve been together for two months, two years or two decades, don’t forget to keep things alive. 

Embracing Your Body

#BodyPositive anyone? 

We’ve gotten a lot better recently with telling each other to love our bodies, but that’s easier said than done when we’re being bombarded with mixed messages from all angles. 

And that doesn’t even begin to include what preconceived notions of “beauty” we’ve been instilled with from childhood. 

So, how are we supposed to make peace with our bodies when we’re being told to “strive for a 'healthy' body” but “to love the body you already have”? 

I have no idea. And I don’t think it’s a one-sized fits all solution. But I can offer you my story.

I know, according to "society" I have a body type that is fitting with what others “strive" for. I’m not here to post photos of my thigh gap and tell you to eat your greens. 

I want to share two life changes that revolutionized the way I felt about my body.

I won’t get into how I used to grab at my “saddlebags” and wish for a perkier butt. 

But what’s it mean when someone who is “skinny” still feels they aren’t “there”. Who knows? 

Even the girls in the magazines don’t look like the girls in the magazines. (There’s a quote out there that is basically this). 

But moving right along. Those two changes:

Learning about my menstrual cycle and changing my diet (lifestyle). 

I know I’ve talked about these things before, but they are worth repeating over and over again. 

I don’t even know how to begin to explain the personal empowerment I discovered by ditching the pill, learning about how my body actually worked, and taking control of my own fertility. 

It made me realize how many myths there are about our fertility, our menstrual cycles, our minds and our bodies that are still prevalent today. 

Up until at least the age of 21 I didn’t know that a woman was only fertile for a few days out of every menstrual cycle. I seriously thought that we could get pregnant regardless of when we had sex. 

Knowledge is power, and that power feels good. 

I used to despise my period. It was annoying, unnecessary. It wasn’t fair that I had cramps and continuously ruined underwear. 

But when I discovered the magic behind the menstrual cycle, within the different phases and the purpose of the different functions, my world was rocked. 

No longer did I whine “Why me?!” when I cramped, but instead marveled at my body’s ability to do something without any effort from myself. To see what you are learning about play out in real life is quite incredible, and something I suggest for everyone. If there is something that frustrates you that you don’t understand, do some research. 

Moving along to my change in diet, or like I prefer to call it, lifestyle. Because diets seem to be pandered as temporary, quick fixes. Something you only have to do for a period of time before you can go back to what you were doing before. And frankly I think that’s a load of crap. 

I don’t understand how we can expect something that hasn’t been working to somehow work after we take a brief “health” hiatus from it. 

There's a quote that goes a little something like this: 

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.” 

Think of the number of fad diets you’ve seen out there that claim you can continue eating everything you love eating, you won’t have to exercise, but you’ll somehow be able to drop all those unwanted pounds?

Anything that is sold as “temporary” screams fake to me. 

The truth is so many of us don’t want to change our habits. We like what we’re doing, but we don’t like the results. We see a potential change as difficult or unenjoyable. 

“But I don’t want to eat just lettuce!"

We think that to maintain a healthy lifestyle and body we have to live in a world of deprivation when in reality for many it’s a world of abundance. 

When you cut out processed foods, animal products and focus on filling your stomach with a whole foods plant based diet you can (*gasp*) eat as much as you want. 

Discovering this world of abundance, energy and vibrance was incredible as a 21-year-old. 

Not only did my insides feel so much better (I had a lot of digestion issues before), but I started to feel better about my outward appearance as well. When you start treating yourself better in one aspect of your life it is infectious, and it spreads. 

Instead of grabbing at and complaining at my perceived imperfections I started noticing and appreciating what my body was capable of. 

If your biggest problem in life is that you don’t have a thigh gap or a flat stomach it’s time to take a step back and find the things about your body that you are grateful for. 

And even if it just starts with “I’m grateful I have two legs,” that’s something to be grateful for. Recently, I’ve been challenging myself physically, and I’m constantly aware of my gratitude that my body is able to run 10 miles, or complete a sprint triathlon. 

The moral of the story here is to find ways to nourish and enrich your body and life. Find gratitude in your days, in your abilities. Learn about your body, what makes you feel good and what doesn’t? And start doing more of what does make you feel good. 

Practicing Gratitude and Mindfulness

One habit/mindset I’ve been trying to get better at is being more grateful and present in the moment.

I saw/heard on TedTalk that we spend 47% of our time with wandering minds. But that we’re less happy when our minds are wandering. 

"When people were mind-wandering, they reported feeling happy only 56% of the time. Meanwhile, when they were focused on the present moment, they reported feeling happy 66% of the time." 

Even if it’s driving to work. You’re going to be happier if you are present rather than letting your mind wander to other things.  

While I’ll always be a daydreamer I want to put a conscious effort into not distracting myself and not letting my mind wander too much. 

So, in the realm of staying present and grateful I wanted to share a list of some simple things I’m doing at the moment: 

+ Time and time again I have heard the benefits of keeping a gratitude journal. Currently this is my "Sparkly Bits” page in my bullet journal. Each day I’ll think back to those little moments I was thankful for. The more consistent I am with this the more present I am during the day. Something will happen and I will have the where with all to recognize it, step back, and enjoy it in the moment. 

+ I’ve been running lately. And I find that the first two miles are the hardest of my run so I’ve started a new thing. I now spend the first mile of my runs saying all the things I’m grateful for. 

+ Sometimes you’ll catch yourself letting your mind just wander and for me I have a new phrase that helps me come back to center. “Be Here.” It’s what I will say to myself to remind myself to be present, to quit thinking about a million other things, and to notice what’s happening around me and within my own body. 

+ Most of us set goals for ourselves. But I find that a lot of the time they are either unreachable, far off, 5 - 10 years down the road sort of goals. And while it’s great to set those long term goals, I think it’s even more important to set goals that have a short timeline. Then after you’ve found something you want to work towards take the time to list the tangible steps you can take day to day to reach that goal. 

+ Meditate. There are countless benefits surrounding being present in the moment and grateful when it comes to meditating regularly. Not to mention it just helps with stress and anxiety. Do it. 

+ When I get those moments of gratitude I stop and soak in all the senses. The other weekend I went camping with some of my girlfriends and while waiting on another friend to go to the bathroom I just remember looking up into the sky, closing my eyes, breathing in the smells and listening to the sounds. 

+ Limiting myself on social media. While I love Instagram it can be a black hole of "oh let me just look really quick" and then 30 minutes later you come to. While I'm not going to give it up I want to be more conscious with how I'm using it rather than letting it use me. 

Now, what are some of the positive effects I’ve noticed from doing these different things?

+ I just feel overall happier and thankful for what I have rather than spending so much time worrying about what I don’t have. And would you guess it, like attracts like, ad with that positive attitude I’ve attracted more of what I want in life. 

+ I feel calmer, more steady. I don’t really get stressed out, but do get anxious here and there. But I feel like I have a better grasp on it and am able to calm myself. 

+ I enjoy the things I’m doing more. Whether that’s something fun like being with friends or something like running or cleaning. I had a moment of gratitude stirring a bowl of dough last night, seriously.

It can be so easy to just allow our lives to be frantic, hectic and stressful. And while I’m not saying this is going to fix bigger problems in our lives, it can’t hurt to have control over our perspective of situations.

What do you do day to day to practice gratitude and stay mindful?  

You Hate Your Period, But Don't Want To

So, you hate your period, but you wish you didn’t? 

I used to be in the same boat. Well, I just hated my period. It never crossed my mind that I could change my perspective on the situation. Disliking your period was just the norm, everyone did it. 

But more and more I hear from gals out there who want to mend that relationship. 

They want to (*gasp*) get along with their cycle. 

Well, if this is you, here’s a few things you can do:

Start learning about your menstrual cycle: 

+ Look into the power of your four phases, the strengths and weaknesses in each and how to use all of it to your advantage

+ It’s amazing how your perspective changes on something when you finally understand the purpose of it (i.e. cramps)

+ Start charting your cycle (tracking your fluid and temperature). You’d be amazed how many cringe at the idea of checking their fluid. If you can’t touch your own vagina, we need to talk. 

Change the conversation:

+ Notice the tone and attitude of conversations surrounding periods with your friends. Do you only complain to each other? 

+ Start saying positive things, little tidbits you’ve learned and things you’ve started to notice in your own cycle

+ Don’t worry. You’re still allowed to say things like “oh my god these cramps!” or “I just bled through everything!"

Upgrade Your Period:

+ Do you hate the period products you use? 

+ I really didn’t like pads when I first got my period. They just made me feel frumpy. And I distinctly remember when I was finally able to successfully use a tampon. I felt like a new woman. 

+ Maybe you feel itchy, irritated and uncomfortable. And you’ve been associating this nonsense with why you dislike your period so much. Well, it’s time to try out a reusable pad, period underwear and maybe even a menstrual cup

+ Take time to pamper yourself around your period, whether that’s sleeping more, eating better food or taking a bubble bath. Treat yourself like a million bucks, and don’t apologize for it. 

These are three easy things that we can all start doing. And this is kind of my formula for everything in life. (Food, money, etc.) Educate yourself, change how you talk about it, and find a way to improve it. 

Where do you struggle or excel in the realm of menstrual magic?

How I Choose Running Routes

One of my favorite parts about training is getting to go on a new route, or an old favorite. 

Everyone has their own method of getting in their mileage, but this is what has worked for me. 

I tried for about a week to use the Nike Run Club app, which is awesome, but something about hearing how far I had gone and how fast I was going made me feel like I was doing worse than I was. 

I’ve recently started not listening to anything while running, and often times even leaving my phone at home. 

So, how do I know that I’m running a certain number of miles? 

It’s all in the planning stage. 

Usually the day before a run I will sit down to decide my route for the following day. 

As I find new routes I’ll add them to my growing list (which I keep in Evernote). If I’m repeating a distance I’ve already done I will usually choose from that list, but if I don’t feel excited about any of those paths or I’m going a further distance than I have I head to good ol' Google maps. 

I start most of my runs outside my apartment, sometimes I’ll drive to a nearby park I like to run through. 

Knowing that I prefer to run on trails over sidewalks I’ll scope out one of the many awesome trails winding through and out of downtown. 

I just use the directions function of Google maps and add a destination to hit the different point of the route. I just kind of fiddle with a route until it equals the distance I need to go. 

For example, back when I was doing shorter runs I would do something like run to Grays Lake and back, which is 5 miles. Or I would do four to five mile routes through Ashworth Park. 

But now I’ve started adding and connecting different routes together for my longer runs. Which mostly just means running through multiple parks and back home.

It’s very satisfying to create a new route and find the perfect path to get your exact mileage whether that’s 3 miles or 14 miles. 

I got to do 14 miles for the first time today, and to get that distance I combined three different routes to create 14 miles.

And there’s nothing quite like finally finding the perfect route to make those big runs, stepping back and looking at them, going Woah that’s far, and then knocking them out like a champ. 

What are some of your favorite settings to run in? The greener the better for me!

September FemmeHead Meet-Ups

I had this revelation a few weeks ago about a goal I’ve been sitting on for far too long.

I’ve been wanting to do more in person things for FemmeHead. 

While I love the comfort and security of working from home, I’m going to challenge myself to get involved in my community via FemmeHead as well as when I travel. 

And then I realized I’m already traveling quite a bit with Michael when he announces races, why don’t I start doing FemmeHead meet-ups and workshops since I’m already there? 

Next year, I want to start offering workshops around the U.S. and even when we travel abroad, but for this year I’m going to start out with just doing simple, easy going meet-ups to start to meet the FemmeHead community. 

So, let’s start with this month. 

I’m going to be in Dallas, D.C. and Long Island. 

If you’re interested in hanging out, let me know, and I’ll be posting where I’ll be hanging out when the time get’s closer. 

+ Dallas — September 8 - 10

+ D.C. — September 11 - 16

+ Long Island — September 29 - October 1

Keep an eye out on my social media for locations, and I can’t wait to hang out if you’re able to come. 

What I Bring For Work When Traveling

I love hearing what others pack for different trips, so today I wanted to share what I bring so I can work while I’m traveling. 

While I’m not traveling for “work” (soon!) I am lucky enough to be able to work from anywhere so I always have a few key things with me no matter where I go. 

Laptop + Charger

When you’re a self-employed girl boss who’s business is (mostly) all online you always take your laptop with you. Trying to do anything on my phone for work (outside of posting to social media) is a pain. 

And there’s nothing better than setting up shop in a cool little cafe in some new city and cracking out some work. 

When Michael and I first went to SE Asia together in 2014 I left my laptop at home. We ended up spending a lot of time while in Chiang Mai in coffeeshops because he had some unexpected work come up. And I remember really just regretting my decision to leave my laptop at home. 

It now comes everywhere. 

Headphones

This is a must for travel in general, but there’s nothing worse than forgetting to pack your headphones.

While there’s other tasks you can complete if you’re out in public, you can’t edit videos because hello, that would be rude. 

Not to mention popping on some motivational, upbeat music, watching videos or taking a break to meditate. 

External Hard Drive

The storage on my laptop is pretty decent, but I never want to run out of space to create. So, having extra storage is a must. 

Plus you can throw videos, photos and everything from your trip on there to keep your phone and SD cards clear for even more goodness. 

I also store different things on my hard drive that I might need to access for work. 

Bullet Journal + Pen

My planner! I would be lost without this one. There’s something about the routine and organization I get from this tiny book that is revolutionary to what I’m able to accomplish for work. 

Even day to day if I don’t have my planner I can’t tell people if I’m free a certain day, which makes planning anything difficult. 

Camera + Charger

I love that I now have a smaller Canon g7x for traveling. And because of this I almost always have my camera with me. 

Not only do I like documenting my travels, but being able to film a new FemmeHead video even when I’m not home is valuable. 

Overall, it’s a simple list of items I need, which makes life oh so easy. And how amazing is it to be able to run an entire business with just a few things!

What are your work must-haves when traveling?