Being an Aunt + the Magic of Birth

While I became an aunt to two awesome girls this past October when Michael and I got married, there was something magical that I got to experience this month. 

My sister giving birth to my nephew, Maverick. 

You see, we didn’t always get along, Veronica and me. But now that we’re both out of school and have our lives, we’ve started to talk more and more. And then over the course of her pregnancy we started talking even more, almost every day.

She let me pick her brain, and ask her everything I wanted to know about pregnancy and her experience with this and that. 

She put up with my obsessiveness to say the least. 

Then she asked me to make a video from his birth, and said I could be in the room. 

How freakin’ exciting!

I left town when she was 38 weeks, and told her to hold him in at least until I got back. 

The following weekend at 39 weeks I got a phone call from her as I was setting up for the last kid’s triathlon of the season. She had been told by the doctors to hang out in Des Moines for the afternoon because she was feeling crampy, etc. 

Then I got a text from my brother-in-law as I was finishing up dinner with the team. “We’re in triage waiting for a room.” 

Once I figured out what exactly that meant I made a joke to everyone about how I had to go catch a baby, and left to go grab my things from home. 

Michael found someone to replace me in the morning just in case I didn’t make it back to the race and I headed up to the hospital. 

She was progressing along nicely, bouncing on her ball, walking laps in the halls, keeping a really cheerful mood throughout it all. 

Then around 1:30 a.m. the nurse told her to try and get some rest so we all tucked in for the night. 

After getting her water broken in the morning, being hooked up to Pitocin and crying through the pain as they kicked up the dosage of Pitocin she was well on her way to pushing. 

Watching her handle the contractions and the pain was impressive, but nothing could compare to what followed. 

Her sheer determination to push that little guy out. And she did it in what seems like record time, not even an hour. If you’ve never watched someone give birth I highly recommend it. It was incredible, magical, inspiring. My sister is a bad ass.

And then he was there. 

To finally see this tiny little human that you’ve been thinking about and waiting months for is such a surreal moment. 

I haven’t been able to look away since. Analyzing every detail possible of his little body. The way he holds his hands up near his face. The way he sucks in his lower lip when he sleeps. His teeny tiny fingernails. The way he cried when he was born. 

As I write this he’s just a few days old. I’m in awe and hopelessly in love. 

To have this human come into your life that you know will be there until you die is a crazy thought to wrap your mind around. 

I cannot wait for all the moments and memories to come with this little guy. Not to mention copious amounts of snuggles and kisses. 

And then I can’t wait to experience it all again. 

Movies I've Enjoyed This Summer

I’m much more of a movie person than a TV show person. Always have been. I’d choose a night in watching a movie over going out any night. 

I’m always looking for movie recommendations, so I wanted to take some time to share some of my favorite movies I’ve seen this summer (some may have been watched in the spring). 

Here we go, in no particular order:

Get Out

I got talked into seeing this one in theaters, and it was not what I expected. I don’t want to say much about it, other to recommend you give it a go. The premise of it is that there is a black man and a white woman dating, and they go to visit her family. 

Gifted

I also saw this one in theaters, and it was one of those feel-good happy movies. Chris Evans is raising his niece, who is a child prodigy, as normal as possible before his mother intervenes. 

Given

This one is on Netflix and everyone must watch it. I discovered it scrolling through one afternoon and convinced Michael and our friend Laura we had to watch it. Essentially it is about a little family of four that travels through 15 countries surfing and living an alternative life. And the best part yet is that it is narrated by the four/five-year old boy. Leaves you wanting to pop out some cute kids and travel the world with them. 

Lion

I started this one on a flight home, getting about a third of the way in before we landed. I waited a few months to finish it, but I’m happy I did. It’s based on a true story of how a five-year-old boy from India was lost, couldn’t find his family, and ended up being adopted by an Australian couple, only to go on an online search for his family and home as an adult. 

The Birth of Sake

Another Netflix find. A documentary which takes you through the amazing process of brewing sake in Japan. They basically spend their winter together, living at the brewery and doing nothing but eating, sleeping and making the sake. The cinematography in this is spot on. 

The Barkley Marathons

Even if you’re not big into running, this one is a must see. It is an ultra marathon trail race held in Tennessee. The registration process is just as unique as the race. What these runners are able to do is incredible and a little bit insane. 

The Glass Castle

I just saw this in an old theater her in Des Moines last night. I read Jeanette Walls book a few years ago, and was excited to see it was being made into a movie. There’s the pros and cons to living a vagabond lifestyle, and how it’s not as glamorous as it is mostly made out to be, how it effected her and her siblings. But in the end the tight knit relationship of the family won. 

Sour Grapes

The last four on this list are all on Netflix. I love documentaries about wine. There’s Somm, Somm: Into the Bottle, A Year in Burgundy, but this one is about how one man conned the greatest wine palates there are. Fascinating to watch the story unfold. 

The Drop Box

This is the second time I had watched this documentary. The story of an incredible South Korean pastor who created a safe spot for mothers to leave their unwanted babies that gave them a chance at life that they wouldn’t find in the dumpsters they were being left at before. 

Welcome to Leith

A documentary of how when a white supremacist leader moved to this small town in order to essentially take it over for other racists to move in, and how the town rallied together and stood up to the hate, saying “not in our town!”. I think this one is a useful, necessary watch with the ongoing current climate of racism. Even if it doesn’t directly impact you, if you don’t agree with it, stand up and say you don’t. 

The White Helmets

An amazing documentary about the volunteer first responders in Syria. Whenever there is an attack these are the people who rush towards the scene and pull others from the rubble. It’s an amazing story, period. 

Now, I’m sure I’ve missed a movie or two that I enjoyed, but this is a pretty solid list if you’re looking for some recommendations. What are some movies you’ve watched this year that have left their mark? 

Not Losing Your Cycle While Training

When deciding whether to train for a marathon I knew I didn’t want to screw up my cycle , and so I knew if I was going to do this I needed to do a bit of research.

According to a few different sites, at my current pace and weight I burn around 90 calories a mile, which means:

- 3 miles = 270 calories burned 

- 5 miles = 450 calories burned 

- 10 miles = 900 calories burned

While I’ve never really tracked calories, I have been more conscious of the need for me to consume more during this little adventure I’m on. 

Now, let’s talk about why it’s important to incorporate that information into your diet. 

Turns out that when you don’t have enough fuel, your body starts choosing to support functions that are vital to survival. And would you guess it? The menstrual cycle doesn’t make that list. So, your body can shut down your cycle if there’s not enough nutrition, which results in a hormonal stress response, lowering the levels of estrogen, messing up your healthy cycle. 

When you cycle starts not showing up it’s because you don’t have the necessary energy to ovulate. 

At first you might not notice anything, but that doesn’t mean it’s not affecting you. Low estrogen affects bone loss, which means stress fractures can be the first sign that something is wrong. 

If you keep training under these conditions it’s going to affect how your recover, your energy, and your running, which seems quite detrimental doesn't it?

I have found that my body (obviously) just naturally started needing more fuel as I started running more. I’ve gone from two meals and one snack a day to three meals and two snacks a day. 

I remember to eat breakfast, to fuel up before and after runs, and I eat when I’m hungry. And I’ve been keeping an eye on my menstrual cycle. 

Because I view the cycle as the canary in the coal mine. If things head south there then I know something is up. 

Loosing your period isn’t a good thing, it shouldn’t be a moment of success or relief, or a “I’m doing this right” moment. 

If your cycle disappears you need to reassess what you’re doing. Up the calories and lower the amount of exercise. And remember it took a few months or so for this to happen so it will take a few more for it to get back in order. 

While there are certainly other factors at play, time and time again it comes back to nutrition. So if you're having issues I alway suggest starting there. 

And it should be worth noting the quality of some calories over others. Make sure you are getting enough of your nutrients for good sources. Head to the produce aisle, through in some beans, rice is always easy and great, and happy eating. 

Not to mention, coming home from a long run and being able to replenish (stuff your face) with delicious, nutritious meals. 

Happy training!

Books I've Read this Summer

I’ve been working my way through a number of books this summer, and I always enjoy with others share their reading lists, so I wanted to do the same for you. 

Here are the books I’ve read, and am currently reading:

Nurture Shock by Po Bronson & Ashley Merryman

I picked this one up in the Portland airport before flying back down to San Francisco. I am absolutely fascinated by parenting psychology, and will read just about any book on the topic. It talks about how a number of our modern strategies for raising tiny humans are actually backfiring. It talks about sleep, praise, race and so much more!

How to be Bored by Eva Hoffman

I had no idea there were a series of books like this on by The School of Life. She talks all about how we are overactive and overstimulated. In a world when there’s so much happening, and access to distractions is so simple, we need to make sure were stepping back and unplugging at the same time. 

Goodbye Things by Fumio Sasaki

I’m a sucker for minimalism books, and there aren’t too many out there (that I’ve discovered yet anyways). This is one man’s journey into minimalism, where he shares different examples of other minimalists, how there’s no right or wrong way to do it, and plenty of tips as well as ways he’s changed since making the transition. 

The China Study by T. Colin Campbell and Thomas M. Campbell

This one has been on my wishlist for quite some time, but now a friend and I are reading it together. I knew from the introduction that I was going to like this book. It is jam-packed with information, statistics and studies making the case for a plant-based diet. We’re just a little ways in, but I’m fascinated and excited to keep learning.

Skinny Bitch: Bun in the Oven by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin

I picked this one up in Florida, after our cruise this spring and gobbled it up. I read the original Skinny Bitch years ago, but I’ve been very intrigued with all things pregnancy, fertility, birth and parenting recently and this one is good. It’s like having a chat from a smart, but blunt friend. And not to mention the push to eat plant-based. 

The Kind Mama by Alicia Silverstone

One of my favorite pregnancy books so far. I love that she is honest and loving, but also optimistic. There is so much fear around pregnancy and birth. And seeing that I want to have a kid one day, and I plan on being vegan I was curious about what that looked like. So, it has been great to discover a few books of vegan mamas. And not only a vegan pregnancy but natural birth, breastfeeding and gentle parenting. I thoroughly enjoyed this one. 

Baby Catcher by Peggy Vincent

A last minute addition to this list, seeing as I just finished this two days ago. I tore through this book in a matter of a few days. It was one that you sat down to start reading, and next thing you knew you were nearly 200 pages in. Peggy is a midwife, and in this book she shares her journey by telling birth stories. I learned a lot about the history of midwifery as well as the potential issues with the future of it. I sometimes wish I would have become a midwife, but I think becoming a doula would satisfy the same curiosity while still allowing me to do other things. A must read. 

My reading wish list grows faster than I can keep up with, and I absolutely love reading, researching, learning and discovering new things. What are some of your favorite books you’ve read this summer? 

My Decluttering Process

Every few months I get this itch, this desire to purge myself of stuff I don’t need anymore.

It’s an addicting sensation, and such a satisfying experience. 

My initial declutter was completely inspired and fueled by the Marie Kondo. Since then I haven’t had to do a full house cleanse, but because I’m not a bare bones minimalist, things accumulate. I don’t pretend to be perfect and I look at minimalism as a spectrum, as a journey, as a way of life. 

So over the next month I have my eye set on four areas in my home that need a good combing through:

My closet:

And not in the sense of my clothes. I will go through them of course, but my closet is also my “storage unit”, where I house all my business related, craft and project related sort of items. And I want to rearrange my closet in order to better organize what I have in there. Because I don’t have a big wardrobe that leaves most of the space for everything else, which currently consists of:

+ six large tubs and two boxes of Period Project items

+ shelving unit where I store sewing stuff, camera gear, screen printing stuff, arts and crafts items, etc.

My bathroom:

It’s in pretty good shape, but I know that I’ve switched out some beauty products, and so I want to go through and get rid of everything I’m not using. I also want to find a basket to store toilet paper in above our washing machine, because currently it’s just sitting up there as is, and it isn’t very well contained. 

My kitchen:

I try to go through my fridge each week or so when I grocery shop, but unfortunately there are a number of cabinets that sit dormant for a few months. 

I want to go through my mason jar collection, because let’s just say I know I have too many. I want to analyze all my utensils and machines and make sure we need each of them. We have way too many wine glasses, I somehow ended up with my mom’s cheesecake pan, things like that.

And I want to go through the pantry, enough said.

My living room:

It’s where the bookshelf lives, which is going to be my focus, but I wanted to look at some old picture frames (that fell of the walls) and our um, growing blanket collection, which has blossomed out beyond my nice wood crate they are supposed to live in. 

So, how am I going to do all of this? 

Well, as you can see, I’ve already started by breaking it up into four areas. And then when the mood strikes I begin!

I’m going to work through it in this order so I’ll talk you through how I’ll go through  my closet. 

The first step is to pull it all out, every last thing. This acts as a shock to the system. A “Wow, I have a lot of stuff” sort of moment. 

I’ll go through my clothing and shoes first, that’s an easy thing. Then I want to go through my items for the Period Bag Project because that takes up one side of the closet. Then the other side is that shelf, which houses so much. I need to go through and get rid of a lot. I’ve already started making a mental checklist. 

Once I have it all separated between “get rid of” and “keep” I’m going to take a look at possibly rearranging my closet because right now I have a shelving unit stuffed into the left side that could be better utilized if I could access the whole thing. 

Along with rearranging, I’m going to look at the organization/storage systems I have and if there is any way I can reallocate that or pick up some new containers to help house my items. 

Once I’m happy with my closet, I take on the bathroom.

Just talking through how I’m going to do it is giving me a sense of accomplishment.

What’s your decluttering routine, and how often do you work your way through different areas of your home?

Some Of My Favorite YouTube Channels

I’ve been watching YouTube videos since high school, and while my interests have changed over the years I thought it would be fun to share some of my favorite people on YouTube. 

In no particular order, here are some people/channels I love:

Sarah Lemkus 

She has an adorable little vegan family, and they live in New Zealand. She shares a lot of What I Eat In A Day videos, as well as her life in New Zealand as well as travel. 

Ellen Fisher 

Possibly my favorite family on YouTube. Ellen has a heart of gold, her husband is a sweetheart and she has two super adorable boys. She talks all things vegan, sustainable living, and her life in Hawaii. 

Raw Alignment 

She talks a lot about self-love and being vegan. She also shares her adventures, her workouts and just general feel good messages. 

Sailing LaVagabonde 

This sweet couple travel the world on their sailboat, and you get to go along on all their adventures. [And it is because of them that I discovered Patreon. It is what makes their adventure possible, and now I have a Patreon for those who want to support FemmeHead.] 

Kathleen Lights 

I’m used to watch a lot of makeup YouTubers, but over the years my interests have changed, but I will always watch Kathleen. And that’s for her personality.

Damon and Jo 

You don’t have to be rich to travel the world, and these two are a complete hoot while doing it. They have vibrant personalities and share practical travel tips. 

Sarah Norse 

She is one of those people who is living the life she wants. She does a lot of traveling, moving countries with her husband. She shares videos all about minimalism, money, travel and lifestyle. 

Alli Cherry 

She has a great esthetic, personality and shares videos on a range of topics. Everything from design, cool flea market finds, sustainable living, natural products and travel and camping videos. 

Ollie Ritchie 

Pure inspiration for beautiful videos. Gives you this nostalgic feeling for memories, places and people in your past. 

Wild Daze 

An eclectic gal sharing her adventures around the world. She’s based in the UK, goes to festivals, shares her wacky style and is unapologetically herself. 

Coolripa 

I always wanted to be the girl in high school who made her own clothes, but I didn’t have the skill or patience to do so. This girl takes her thrift store finds and turns them into adorable outfits that you want to wear. 

Lavendaire 

A calming influence on your life. She talks about minimalism, personal growth, and creating the life you want to live.  

Muchelleb 

She’s all about creating the lifestyle and space you want to live in, covering how to simplify your space, be intentional about your life, goals, minimalism and goodness like this. 

Shameless Maya 

I sometimes struggle when it comes to technology, but anytime I need an answer or some inspiration I head over to her channel. I really enjoy her Tech Talk Tuesdays as well as her just explaining different methods and techniques. 

BuzzFeed Unsolved 

I love watching BuzzFeed, but one of my favorite series currently is BuzzFeed Unsolved. They’re a hilarious duo who travel to haunted places, often staying the night, sharing the history and trying to stir up some ghosts. 

SoSonia on SoulPancake 

She makes me feel good, she makes me think and she inspires me to get creative. 

These aren’t all the channels I like, but I didn’t want to go on forever. Hopefully this will help you discover a new channel or two that you like!

For Those Who Are Worried About You Using FAM

It’s inevitable when some people find out you’re ditching the hormones and choosing a natural alternative. 

There is a lot of confusion around fertility, birth control and our options. 

So, when you get a lot of “But, you’re going to end up pregnant!” try not to get too frustrated. 

Think back to when you didn’t know there was another way, before you knew how our fertility actually works. 

Here’s how to have a polite conversation with someone who is “concerned” about you not being on hormonal birth control. 

Start by sharing some of your favorite FAM, cycle, period facts. Pique their curiosity. [This is where books like “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” and “The Pill: Are You Sure It’s For You?” come in handy]. 

+ Did you know that women are actually only fertile around 7 days each cycle? And that’s mostly because sperm can live in a fertile vagina for up to 5 days.

+ Hormonal birth control alters at least 150 different bodily functions. 

+ FAM is actually very different from the Rhythm Method, and when practiced correctly is over 98% effective.

Tell them why hormonal birth control wasn’t working for you, people are often shocked when you start listing off all the negative side effects you were experiencing and how you don’t have any of those since quitting. 

+ I developed mild depress, anxiety, chronic UTI’s, gained weight, and had a substantial decline in my dental health after starting the pill [just to name a few].

Give them a brief overview of how FAM works. That there are different fertility signs that you track every day and use that information alongside a set of rules and guidelines to determine whether you’re fertile or not. 

Make it clear that this isn’t a guessing game based on past cycles. It’s based in science and what is actually happening in your body. 

And in the end they still might not be on board, but if you continue forward with your journey, learning, practicing the method safely and essentially “prove them wrong” you’d be amazed. 

Sometimes still when I talk about not being on hormonal birth control and using FAM instead people will make some comment about pregnancy or how it doesn’t really work. And my calm comeback is that I have been using it successfully for over 4 years now, I know countless other women who use it too, and that I am much healthier and happier than I used to be. 

Not to mention I don’t ever plan on taking hormonal birth control again. 

At the end of the day it’s your body and your choice. You get to decide. 

[If you're curious about ditching the pill, and what all that entails, grab your spot in my upcoming Ditch the Pill course, which starts August 21st. And if you're ready to learn all about FAM, sign up for my Chart Your Cycle course, which begins August 16th!]

Home Office Update!

Last month I wrote about my journey towards creating the perfect home office space. 

And I’m just about there this month. 

So last time we checked in on this topic I was still out in the main room, using my window desk, but on the search for “my desk”. 

And I found it. 

On Craigslist, for $25. 

It was a clunky old desk, but it had the bones of what I wanted. 

After a morning of cutting it up, rearranging it’s parts and adding some new parts of my own, there it was. My desk.

I took off the cabinet that held up one side, chopped off one of the drawers that made up the other side, bought legs and angled plates to attach them, and my modern desk was born. 

It fits perfectly in that open space that was waiting for it in my back bedroom. 

The very same day I went in search of a chair, not expecting to find it. But then there it was sitting, unmarked at the thrift store. 

How much? I asked. 

Hmm, how about $10 she whispered back. 

Sold! I said. 

I still need to sew up a cover for the cushion (not too big into the pattern), but I’ll get around to that eventually. 

I grabbed my framed print of downtown that was living in my bathroom, along with the candle holder that was with it. 

And the finishing touch? 

An ethernet to thunderbolt adapter for my laptop. 

And we were in business. 

This is my space. 

This is where I go and feel that sense of, “this is where we work, Victoria.” 

And I couldn’t be happier. 

Not to mention I’ve spent less than $70 so far for all of it. 

Too Scared to Ditch the Pill?

I was here at one point.

There was at least a year where I desperately wanted to get off the pill, but didn’t think there were any non-hormonal options that would actually work for me.

I tried to look back in my old journals to see if I talked about quitting the pill. But there’s nothing in there that I’ve found where I specifically mention the pill.

But there were so many eye-opening entries in there that are mind-boggling and heart breaking to read. Because of how bad I had gotten mentally and emotionally that last year.

I want to share just a few paragraphs from different entries to give you a grasp of that time in life. 

July 2, 2012

“I want to feel like I’m floating, like I’m flying, like I’m not here. How do I do that, how do I feel that? Free, like I don’t exist. Invisible like no one can see me. So no one notices me? I wish I were a bird. I would fly and fall, glide and soar. Free from life.” 

August 9, 2012

“I’m really proud of myself today. I ate an apple and fiber bar for breakfast. An apple for lunch and a tuna sandwich for dinner. Plus I went for a run with Bob (my dog), did a lower body workout, twice and cardio pilates once.

I still want some pills. I’m thinking Hydroxycut. I need to check out where I can pick some up.”

August 17, 2012

“Slowly slipping deeper into this shallow depression that is surrounding me. Little by little, further and further down I go. It’s comforting to be alone. Then there are no fake smiles, no fake laughs to force out of myself to please those around me. When I’m alone I can quietly slip away.”  

This is just a taste of what was in there and it always breaks my heart to read these old journals. To know and remember what I was going through. And to so clearly see it now, but to know that I was completely blind to it then. 

And I know I wasn’t alone in that. That there are still countless girls and women struggling today because of their hormonal birth control. Either unaware that there are other options or too afraid to get off it. 

And I just wish I could sit down with you. Give you a hug. Tell you that you can do it. That there is another way. 

But also that you shouldn’t feel pressured to jump off that cliff until you’re ready. 

So, you want to quit, but you’re too scared to? What to do?

Educate yourself. 

Build your community. 

You’re not alone in your desire for a different way. And you’re not the first to venture down this path. 

Start with some books, take a class or find an online educator.

Taking the time to learn the method thoroughly and completely will put you at ease and give you the confidence you need to take that leap. 

Yes, there’s the chance of pregnancy, but you take that risk with every single method of birth control you use. That’s the choice and risk you take when having sex with someone. 

But if you want to avoid pregnancy and use FAM I promise you are capable and responsible enough. 

There are condoms, there are copper IUD’s, there are new advances in technology to help make your non-hormonal birth control journey that much easier.

And let’s not forget that there are plenty of fun physical and sexual activities you can do with your partner without the risk and fear of pregnancy that comes with intercourse.

Sex doesn’t just mean intercourse, don’t forget that. It’s an exciting spectrum of things waiting for you to try out.

When you first discover you can quit your hormonal birth control and use a non-hormonal option like FAM, the prospect is terrifying. 

We have been led to believe for so long that we are incapable of controlling our own fertility. But that’s a lie. You are more than capable of doing just that. 

I promise the more you learn, the more you let it sink in, and the more you hear from those of us already doing it, the more ready you’ll be to join the club. 

[If you're ready but want someone to help guide you through the process, to talk about what that entails and what to expect, my Ditch the Pill course is perfect for you. Sign up now for the relaunch August 21st! If you're new to FAM and want to learn how to properly chart your cycle, snag your spot for my Chart Your Cycle course, which starts August 16th!]

Thin Privilege

This started with a question by a subscriber to talk about thin privilege. 

So, naturally I had to start by educating myself on what exactly “thin privilege” is. 

And as I was reading through blogs and tweets, I felt uncomfortable. I didn’t want to talk about it, because I didn’t think me, as a person who has had a fast metabolism all my life had the right to discuss this. 

At first, as I was reading, I found myself thinking, well that happens to me in one way or another as a skinny person, but I quickly was able to see the difference. 

When people say “oh my god your arms are like toothpicks” or call me “chicken legs” or tell me “I just want to feed you a burger”. They aren’t doing it because they look at my body as wrong or unhealthy. It’s said almost with a friendly, envious laugh.  

Or when people find out I’m vegan, “They go, oh that’s why you’re so skinny.” But there’s still a lot of junk food available to me as a vegan, and I can eat it without people judging me or me worrying about gaining weight. 

And just like any other person I can put down large quantities of food. But when people see me do it they are impressed. They think it’s awesome. But if I were 100/200 pounds heavier you can bet your sweet tushy they wouldn’t have the same attitude towards me eating that much. 

In college when I would go a few days just eating cupcakes for meals people thought it was funny. What if I were 215 pounds instead of 115 pounds? 

There are so many underlying issues out there today that dictate our lives, our health, our bodies, etc. So many things that are invisible to the naked eye. When people see someone who’s overweight there’s a good chance their first reasoning is “Well, they must eat like crap and sit on the couch.” 

And you know what? There are a ton of people who fall into that category of eating unhealthy and not moving. But do you know how many skinny people fall into that category… a lot. But people don’t question your health in relation to your size when you’re skinny. 

Do I want people to live the healthiest lives possible? Of course I do. But your size isn’t always in direct relation to that. And people shouldn’t be made to feel ashamed, or not be able to do something because of their size. 

And justifying the hurtful things you’re saying/thinking about someone with “oh I just want them to be healthy” is a BS excuse.

Stop doing it. 

I could go on and on about the advantages I have learned I have because of my size, but I challenge you to go seek those out for yourself. 

It’s a great practice to learn about issues that don’t effect you personally, because just because you don’t experience it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. 

What’s an eyeopening experience/lesson you’ve had about something that effects other, but not yourself? 

The Fear of Pregnancy

The ultimate fear surrounding our birth control choice: 

Unwanted pregnancy. 

I have people write me all the time saying they want to quit whatever form of hormonal birth control they’re on because of x, y or z but there is absolutely zero chance that they can handle a unplanned pregnancy at this point in life. 

So what are their options, they want to know.  

I’m not here to promote unplanned pregnancies.

I just want to say that right now before I go any further, because people jump to conclusions when you start talking about supporting others quitting hormonal birth control and learning how to chart. 

I’m here to promote knowledge. 

Because so many of us don’t know much of anything about how our fertility works. 

And so naturally if you don’t know how the menstrual cycle and fertility works, I can totally see how people think charting is some dangerous hippy method. 

But if you take the time to learn about your body, learn how your fertility actually works, thoroughly learn a charting method, and practice that method correctly every time, you can ditch those synthetic hormones and still be responsible and effective in preventing pregnancy. 

Others think that to use a charting method, and avoid pregnancy that they can never have sex. And this is something I wanted to throw in here today. 

There is a seven day period that you are “fertile” every month. 

But I think we need to talk about something else here. There is so much  more beyond penetration when it comes to “sex”. I honestly think people forget about the amazing spectrum of sexual activity that comes along with being “intimate” with someone. 

My advice, quit being a bore. Use those seven days to think outside the box that is penis in vagina sex. Yeah it’s awesome, but that shouldn’t be the only thing on the menu. 

So, get out there, learn about your body and learn about your sexuality too.

And just remember that regardless of what method of birth control you are on, hormonal or not, there is going to be a small chance of pregnancy. So, yes I know, pregnancy would be just about the worst thing possible for a lot of you out there. But by having sex with someone you are making that choice to put yourself into the lottery for an unwanted pregnancy. 

Regardless of what method you’re using, learn all you can about it, how it works to prevent pregnancy and how to use it correctly and therefore effectively. 

Oh, and finally, don’t forget about protecting yourself against STI’s, because most birth control options do nothing to keep you from catching something someone else has. So many think that being on the pill or having an IUD is all they have to do to be safe and responsible. Get tested and use condoms. 

Zero Waste Update | Where I'm Doing Well + Where I'm Not

I first started learning about the not so great side of plastic around the same time I was getting into minimalism. 

I see both of them as a spectrum that you fall within. 

And while there have been a few big changes I’ve made in regards to the waste I create, there are still a few areas that I can/need to still improve in. 

So, today I wanted to go through how I’ve been excelling at creating less waste, and then cover a few spots I’m not doing so hot at. 

And because I’m a positive person I will start with the changes I’ve made that have helped me create less waste.

+ Using reusable bags instead of plastic bags when shopping

This was one of the first and easiest switches I made. I have a few totes/reusable shopping bags I’ve acquired, as well as a few I made myself from old t-shirts. 

And while I remember to bring them along 98% of the time, there is still the shopping trip every few months where I forget them. Instead of getting plastic bags, or even paper bags I just ask them to put the groceries back in my shopping cart once they’ve rung them up. I then just walk the shopping cart out to my car (which I normally do anyways) and put my groceries straight into there. 

+ Sending my food scraps to my mom’s to compost

If you take a look at what the vast majority of your trash can consists of it is food scraps. 

I played with the idea of creating a in-apartment compost system for a long time, but couldn’t figure out what I would do with the compost once it was done. 

My conclusion was that I needed to find a place where I could send my scraps to get composted. I did a little research to see if there was anything convenient and easy around town, but eventually just settled on asking my mom if she could take it. 

Which, as mom’s do, she gladly accepted. But eventually sent me home with an old kitty litter tub to collect my scraps in so they didn’t leak in her car as she transported them home. 

+ Recycling

I took the time to see what was accepted as recycling here in Des Moines, got a little recycling bin (and eventually a bigger one as a wedding gift), and started recycling. 

It was easy even though I always let it collect in the big bin in my hallway closet a bit too long. 

And I discovered that a local grocery store recycled plastic bags for those few suckers that made it into our house. 

+ Reusing

There are some items that could just be thrown away or recycled. But I try to get as much use out of them as possible before sending them on their way. 

Glass jars, while I have too many of them, in various sizes, I love using them as food storage containers. 

And because I’m not completely zero waste I still create some garbage (a lot less than before, but still some) and repurpose those few plastic bags that still get into my house as garbage bags instead of buying new ones for my bathroom garbage. 

+ Buying second hand

I’ve done this for awhile, mostly because it was just better for my financially, but once I learned more about fast fashion and how wasteful the retail industry is, I have made more of an effort to find what I need second hand first. 

This doesn’t just mean clothing either. I recently made my desk out of one I found on Craigslist and found my desk chair at the thrift store. 

+ Overall being more conscious of what I’m buying

I think this journey as well as minimalism combined has really changed my mindset on buying stuff. 

I put more time and thought into stuff before buying. 

Do I really need it? Will it be something that I can use/wear for years and years to come? 

And one trick that helps me with this is keeping a Want List on my computer, and as things come to mind that I want to buy I put them there instead of impulse purchasing them. This has helped me realize what I really do want/need and gives me time to find the perfect item that I will love forever. 

Ok, now that we’ve got all those done, let’s touch on a few places where I’m not doing so great at this whole zero waste lifestyle and how I can/will improve. 

+ Buying groceries that come packaged

Unfortunately the store I buy in bulk at packages a lot of their items in plastic. When I first started in on this switch I was getting everything from just one store and not buying anything packaged (even bread). 

And I should get back to this, even though it ended up costing more money. 

+ Forgetting my reusable coffee cup

I have a handy little stainless steel coffee cup, but I don’t always remember it. 

I need to get a lid for it, and then just put it in my bag before I head out anywhere. 

The same goes with bringing along a mason jar for those spur of the moment smoothie trips. 

+ Making the switch to bamboo, compostable toothbrushes

This one is an easy one that I literally just have not gotten around to. 

And it also requires me to remember to say no to the little goodie bag they give you at the dentist. 

+ Continuing to switch out packaged beauty products for unpackaged products

I actually have quite a bit of gift card money to Lush that will be perfect for this switch. 

My skin went through a bit of a difficult time this past winter and I caved when I discovered the whole Korean 10-step skincare routine. I didn’t go as far as to get one use masks, but I did get a nice toner and essence, which did wonders for my skin.

But now that my skin is back in order I have been able to simplify my skincare again. 

+ I need to buy bamboo utensils and to-go containers

This is the final area that comes to mind when I think of where I’m failing. 

While I normally just throw in a fork/spoon from my drawer I would much rather have a designated set of bamboo utensils that are easier to travel with then actual silverware. 

And figuring out how to order take-out and use my own containers. I know people might be confused, but I think just asking nicely can get you a lot of things. 

I want some to-go containers that aren’t my glass tupperware I use at home. I’m always worried about this getting broken. 

And there you have it. 

Not all my triumphs and failures, but what I could think of today. 

Where do you excel/flop when it comes to zero waste? And what advice do you have for others wanting to lead a less wasteful lifestyle? 

Having a Money Minute

Repeat after me: Money is not the enemy.

I’ve talked a few times before about the importance of learning about, and paying attention to your money.

People think that by ignoring it they won’t have to deal with it. But choosing not to do anything is still an action. 

And no matter how much or how little money you feel like you have, paying attention to it is important. 

So, today I wanted to talk about taking a money minute. 

Some people do this once a day, a week, a month or less than that. 

Right now I’m in-between once a week and once a month, and I want to get back to once a week. 

And this is what a money minute means to me:

Pulling up my bank account and my credit card online. 

Going through both and writing down every dollar spent and made in my bullet journal. 

I have a number of payments automated, but the bigger ones I still do manually:

+ student loan payment

+ rent

+ credit card

By going through my bank and credit card statement I can keep an eye on where I’m spending money, maybe a subscription I don’t use that I need to cancel, things like that. 

It’s also a great time to see where you’re at in your budget, whether what you’re making is enough to support how much you’re spending. 

And if it isn’t adding up it’s a great motivator to cut back spending and amp up your income. 

Don’t ignore your finances. 

And if you don’t feel comfortable with them, you need to force yourself look at them, make yourself learn about personal finance. 

Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to money. 

I truly believe that the more attention you pay to your finances the better you will do financially. 

My Cleaning Products

If you’ve been following along for awhile you know I’m not a big fan of chemicals. 

I can get a bit neurotic about what goes in and on and around my body. 

And one thing that I’ve never talked about before, was what I use to clean around my home, and that’s where a lot of chemicals can reside.

[By no means is this me claiming I live a perfect, chemical-free life. This is just me sharing different ways I’ve become aware of the problem and have started to make the switch]

To wipe down most surfaces in my house that don’t need much i’ll simply use water and Norwex cloths. I dust, clean my mirrors, and wipe down my kitchen countertops each day in this manor.  

To clean my dishes I use two products, Mrs. Meyer’s Dish Soap and Seventh Generation Dishwasher Detergent Powder. So, depending on whether I’m hand washing or dishwashing I’ll use one of these two plant-based cleaners alongside a wood bristle brush to scrub my dishes. 

For cleaning our clothes I am currently using the Seventh Generation Laundry Detergent Powder. I’ve tinkered with making my own, but it’s obviously easier to just buy this in a box.  

And finally, when something needs a little extra grunge removing power I’ll use a diluted mixture of Thieves Household Cleaner, which is another plant-based cleaner containing essential oils. It smells amazing and depending on your cleaner to water ratio it really packs a punch. 

This has been a process over the past year, but I’ve been working hard to replace different products with a healthier alternative. 

26 Thoughts On the Past 26 Years

I’ve been 26 for around a month and half now, and I always like to take my birthday as an opportunity to reflect. So, I wanted to share 26 thoughts with you today:

+ looking back I didn’t give my mom the credit she deserved as a parent

+ as a pre-teen, young teenager, I really wanted to grow up

+ don’t be so quick to hate where you’re from

+ knowledge is power

+ take care of your body 

+ my parents set me up to be an entrepreneur 

+ travel, get a new perspective

+ finding gratitude each day leads to a more positive existence

+ be nice to people 

+ keep an open mind 

+ don’t settle, job, relationship, friendship

+ eat your veggies

+ learn about your body 

+ don’t be afraid to reach out to someone you admire

+ having more doesn’t equal being happier

+ journal, write, document your life

+ don’t compare yourself to others 

+ you can learn anything you want

+ spend time with your family 

+ a child’s imagination is a magical thing

+ money is not the enemy 

+ stand up for what you believe in, but educate yourself along the way

+ failure is inevitable, but it’s not the end 

+ your job doesn’t define you, who you are as a person does

+ getting out into nature is important

+ treat everything and everyone with kindness and compassion

To be honest, I thought this list would take a long time to compile, but each thought came to mind one after another, and before I knew it my 26 things were here. 

In the end, take the time to stop, step back and reflect on life. 

It’s a beautiful thing. 

The Power in Our Four Phases

First a quick refresher of the four phases of our menstrual cycle:

1.  menstrual phase 

2.  follicular phase 

3.  ovulatory phase

4.  luteal phase

Next, let's move into why I'm a fan of each phase. 

I love the menstrual phase because:

     + it’s a chance to slow down

     + rest, renew, reflect

     + it has taught me to listen to my body

     + i’ve learned to let myself sleep more and I'm loving the benefits

I love the follicular phase because:

     + starting around the end of my menstrual phase into my follicular phase I get this burst of energy (if I slow down during my period)

     + it’s kind of like coming out of hibernation. I’m ready to go each day

     + it also reminds me of my love for Mondays as a fresh start

I love the ovulatory phase because:

     + I’m most social and outgoing in this phase

     + I’m best at interacting during this phase

     + I love the process of the fluid getting more fertile, waiting for that spike in temperature

I love the luteal phase because: 

     + there’s not a bunch of spotting like there was at the beginning of this year

     + knowing how many days it’s going to be and when to expect my period 

     + the decline in energy reminding me to start slowing down

     + It's when I’m most in tune with my emotions

Knowing about the different phases has opened up this whole new world:

+ I’ve learned to love my cycle

          - learning about what’s going on inside your body, as well as your mind just makes it all click and make sense

+ How you feel makes sense

          - if you are feeling tired, or emotional you can point to why

+ I can use this knowledge to my advantage

          - can schedule around this, don’t load a bunch on your plate during your menstrual phase. schedule big meetings around ovulation. 

A book I love on this topic that taught me so much is “The Optimized Woman”. So, if you liked today’s post I recommend going and picking this book up. 

My Current Meditation Practice

I am far from perfect and consistent when it comes to meditation, but never-the-less I wanted to talk about mediation today, and share why I love it so much. 

I went to this talk/presentation about meditation while in college, and ever since then I’ve known that meditation was something I wanted to add to my days. 

But I struggled for so long because I didn’t understand how to do it. 

My solution came with a guided meditation app. 

And this might end up sounding like a sponsored ad, but it’s not. If anyone from Headspace is watching, hit me up. I’d love to work together. 

But yeah, Headspace is my meditation app of choice. (You get the first ten guided meditation practices free). 

I’ve found that the most beneficial time to meditate for me is early in the day. 

It’s just one of those things that sets you up for a good day. 

+ makes me a calmer, more balanced person. turns out it lowers your cortisol levels. 

+ helps me with focus, motivation and creativity. 

+ helps me sleep better, not laying there with 20 million things running through my head.

+ I better handle confrontation or stressful situations

+ feel so much brighter, lighter and positive overall

It’s one of my go-to’s if I’m ever feeling flustered, frustrated, distracted, upset. 

If I’m meditating for whatever reason I’m more likely to want to work out, eat fresh foods, which all in turn make me want to just take better care of myself. 

I try to do 10-15 minutes, which when you think about it, who doesn’t have 10-15 minutes? 

And you can do it anywhere. At home, outside, on the train to work, on a plane, in the car. 

But I can’t do it at the end of the day. I’ve tried to do it before bed, and I just end up failing asleep. 

It’s something I really would recommend everyone tries. 

I also think it’s cool that there’s even simple meditation practices for kids. I’ll definitely be doing that when I have kids. 

And as this process has gone along I have realized that I have found a similar meditative quality in other activities, whether that I journaling, listening to music, going on a walk, or being out in nature. And I am very grateful for this new awareness I have in my days. 

Using Ovulation Test Strips

Nestled right next to the pregnancy tests in your local drugstore, you’ll find these curious things -- ovulation tests. In fact, they’ve probably gone unnoticed by you for a good portion of your life. 

Obviously the most common reason these are plucked from that shelf are for women who have reached that point in life when they are ready to have a baby. But as we all know, that first starts with conceiving. 

Women use these to help time sex with their partners for what they hope is the best case scenario for sperm joining together with egg, to divide and multiply into a fetus. 

But recently I have noticed another group of ladies who are picking up these tests. Women who have the opposite goal — avoiding pregnancy. 

And it is because of this that I feel compelled to touch on this topic today. 

Right off the bat I’m going to say it:

Ovulation strips should not be part of your birth control method. 

And what I mean by this is they should not be a factor in your calculation of when you are fertile/not fertile. 

That doesn’t mean you can’t use them. I’ll talk about that in a moment. 

Ovulation tests or OPK’s (ovulation predictor kits) work by detecting the surge in your luteinizing hormone that causes the matured egg to burst from the follicle that it has been growing in. 

You can see why these would be very beneficial to women trying to conceive. Knowing when this surge is can help you time sex better. One the LH surge is detected successful fertilization is most likely going to happen one to three days following. 

And if you can recall another fact I’ve talked about before — sperm can survive in a fertile vagina for up to five days. And your most fertile cervical fluid is going to happen right before ovulation. 

But this fact also goes to show how relying on ovulation tests to avoid pregnancy can easily go wrong. By the time you have that LH surge unprotected sex in the day or two before that matters. 

This is why cervical fluid matters so much in detecting the beginning of your fertile phase. 

Because when you have ovulated in the past, doesn’t matter when trying to guess when you’re going to ovulate on that particular cycle. 

It’s not about the length of a cycle, it is all about cervical fluid and temperature on a daily basis, alongside a set of rules, to know where you are in your fertile phases. 

But so long as you aren’t relying on OPK’s for “birth control” there is no harm in trying them out for fun. 

We’re curious creatures. And awhile back I really wanted to know if I was ovulating around that time I thought I was because of my fertility signs. 

So, I bought some of the very basic, very inexpensive ovulation test strips off of Amazon and started dipping them into a cup of my urine every morning starting with my follicular phase just to see. 

And would you guess what? 

I was ovulating exactly when my fluid and temperature said I was. 

What I’m saying here is that if you’re either trying to conceive or just curious go ahead, use some ovulation strips. 

But if you’re trying to incorporate them into your birth control method, no don’t do that. I cringe and worry every time I hear someone say they are a part of their decision making process. 

If you want to chart your cycle as a natural form of birth control, yay, welcome to the club! But please learn an actual method. Learn it completely, and practice it as you are supposed to. 

No frankenstein-ing your own method together please. 

Picking Up Lost Habits

Sometimes life gets a bit hectic, and you loose track of your routine, those things that keep you balanced and sane. But when you don’t have time you have to just let go of certain things. And not feel guilty for it. 

Hopefully the time comes when you can return to those things that matter. And possibly weed out those habits that aren’t serving you. 

Life got a bit crazy for me over the month of May, and I let quite a few of my favorite things slip away, knowing I’d make my way back to them. But now that I’m getting back to the point of having the time again I have found I have to rebuild those connections to those habits. 

The three habits I’m referring to, and am frankly always talking about are:

+ journaling

+ yoga

+ meditation

Simple, daily tasks that can take anywhere from five minutes to an hour, depending on the day. But I know the benefits from each. 

Journaling is a way to cleanse my mind each morning. To clear out the junk as well as jot down those important memories and thoughts worth remembering. 

I journal in a few different forms. The most beneficial is morning pages, three pages of handwritten, streaming conscious thought. It is a way, like I said above, to excavate those things lingering from the past. Things that need to be addressed, talked about, thought about. It is a way to work through difficult things, annoyances, and to give light to moments that have really made my day. 

After I have taken the time to sit down and do morning pages (15-45 minutes) I am noticeably more focused, and able to stay on task throughout the day. Because often times the things that distract me from what I have at hand is something from the past, some thought or memory that has been nagging at my conscious. 

In a way journaling is a form of therapy for me. 

I also keep the type of journal that comes to mind when you hear the word "journal". 

Beyond that I also have two pages for each month in my bullet journal for what I call my “sparkly bits”. It is my daily gratitude. And from continuously practicing daily gratitude I am more in tune with the daily moments that bring me joy. 

Journaling is something I dabbled in starting at 8 years old, but didn't really pick up on at the age of 19. And it is something I no doubt will continue to do until the day I die. 

Next up, yoga. 

I first tried yoga in college. There was a free class for students a couple mornings a week. After graduating I hit a rough patch (ended a relationship and was lost with where I was supposed to head with my future). I rediscovered yoga, and it was more than I could have asked for at that point in my life. Over the next six months or so I did almost daily 6 a.m. hot yoga classes, all the while working 16 hour days and struggling with what to do with life. 

I have done yoga on and off since then. Not being able to afford classes (seriously, they are expensive), but knowing the benefit I have begun to do a daily practice from home. Either I move through sequences as they come to mind or I follow a video I’ve found online. Whether it’s five minutes, or 90 minutes, yoga feeds my soul. I come out of it feeling renewed, refreshed, incredible. 

And finally, the most recent addition to my life — meditation. 

Here is something that I’ve wanted to do for years, but could never quite figure out. 

I spent so long thinking it had to be one way, when in reality there are so many forms of meditation practice. 

And I found my form in guided lessons via the Headspace app. It came at a time in life where things were coming together but I felt lost, I felt off balanced and in a way out of control. I needed something to bring me back to center, and for whatever reason I knew my answer was meditation. 

I had heard of this particular app here and there. To be quite frank, it kept popping up, almost as if telling me I needed to give meditation another go. 

Meditation is another form of therapy, similar yet different from journaling. 

When I have a good daily meditation practice going I am so much more balanced — emotionally, mentally and it gives me that sense of spirituality (that I also get from yoga) that I could never find in organized religion. 

And the trick to all of this is timing. Creating space for it in your day. For me, in the past, that was journaling first thing in the morning for around an hour, then taking another hour around 2 p.m. to take a break from work, roll out my yoga mat, choose a video from online and end it with a meditation session during savasana. 

These three habits combined are a trifecta of mental health for me. And I hope from reading this today you can feel a burst of inspiration to rekindle that flame with those habits that nourish you. 

Trying to Create the Perfect Home Office

When I started creating FemmeHead from my apartment I didn’t really care to have a space. I always just sat at the kitchen island because the stools were slightly uncomfortable, which helped keep me focused. 

You see, I can’t work from a couch or anywhere too cozy or my mind will slip into “Hey, I’m comfy, let’s watch some videos or some Netflix.” 

When you work from home you have to learn how to create a “work" environment that is separate from your “home” environment. 

I know what keeps me on track, and structured chairs are part of that. 

A few months ago I found myself in a work funk. The usual motivation I have for FemmeHead wasn’t there.

I was frustrated and confused. 

Then one day I realized, I need my own work space, I need a desk.

But where was I going to put a desk? I really didn’t have much space. Michael had a desk in the back bedroom that he used every now and then. But it was too clunky and the internet wasn’t strong back there. 

I wanted to be able to sit in front of one of our windows, which meant I needed a taller desk. 

So the next morning I went over the shop my mom works in and built myself a desk out of three scrap pieces of wood I had, that I’m fairly sure were one table sleeves (wood pieces that you slide into the middle of a table to extend it). 

I had a desk, but then my next issue was I didn’t have a chair/stool that was the right size. My solution was to take one our kitchen stools and put it up on blocks to raise it to the right height. 

And that’s what I’ve been using for the past few months. And it has been great to have a space to go to each morning, and for my mind to know, right here is where we work. 

But now I can feel that it’s time to graduate to a bigger work space. One that I can work in and film videos from. 

This has all come at kind of the perfect time. Michael just signed a lease on an office in the East Village (Des Moines, of course). This means he isn’t going to be working from the back bedroom, which means I can take that space over. 

Right before my birthday I went on a little decluttering spree in that room, went through it all, donated and moved quite a bit before finally rearranging the room so it was basically just a bed. 

So much room for activities. 

Not to mention an entire wall that opened up is just perfect for my little office corner. 

Now, comes the fun part, designing and decorating it. 

The first step is that I have to find a desk. But I’m not just going to buy a desk to have a desk.  

Nope, I’m an annoying conscious consumer. I’m only going to buy something that I absolutely love, and that can move spaces when the time comes. 

And I don’t want to spend a butt load of money. Seriously, why are desks so expensive? 

I’m going to hunt around town through the antique shops and such. I’ll know my desk when I see it. 

Once I find the desk then I can choose the perfect chair, and then I’ll have the necessary bones. 

From there I want some greenery, some prints or photos, and probably a spot to store my pens. 

Everything will have a place, and it won’t just sit on my desk like it all does now. 

Having a space to work from gives what you’re doing a certain amount of legitimacy that you don’t get from your kitchen counter or a coffeeshop bench.

And while I love the freedom I have to work from anywhere (I’m typing this on a plane ride from San Francisco to Portland at the moment) I know the structure of having my spot at home will do me a world of good. 

I also want to be able to film from that spot as well, which I already have started to. But at the moment it’s just a blank white wall. Clean, but kind of boring. 

As for the internet, Michael and I ran an ethernet cord through the ceiling all the way from the front room, so a simple adapter will give me lightening fast internet. It doesn’t get much better than that does it?

I can't wait for this process to continue, building my space as well as building my business. What a fun time it is to be alive, am I right?