I Didn't Bleed On My Bed This Month + Other Small Victories

I write a lot about periods. Some say I share a few too many details about my period. Like last month, when I shared a story of how I bled through a few pairs of pants, yet still keep a positive attitude about my period. 

I've bled through underwear, multiple pairs of pants, onto my bedding, through my bedding and into the mattress, on chairs, but I still love my period. 

I'm a bit of a freak, I know 

But you’ll be happy to know that I at least didn’t bleed onto my bed this past month. 

However, I think I did still make my way through three pair of pants (at different times throughout the day), and one high top chair (thankfully the chair was black wood, and easily wiped off). 

But do you know what I did accomplish this past cycle? I did a great job of listening to my body, that's what. 

I stopped allowing myself regular naps after I graduated from college, but I always find myself really craving a nap here or there during my period. 

And this past period I let myself take at least one nap. I mean, it was only 15 minutes, but that was a big thing for me. 

Something about stopping what I’m doing in the middle of the day to allow myself to lay down makes me feel guilty. 

Over the past few years, as I’ve learned about my body I’ve learned you HAVE to let yourself slow down during your period. It makes it SO MUCH BETTER. When you listen and just do what your body is telling you through each phase period life is so much easier, and much more pleasant.

This combined with getting off the pill, changing my diet and switching to reusable menstrual products has not only changed my actual period, but has changed how I feel about it. 

I highly recommend trying this out. 

And then when you do bleed through your favorite pair of jeans or onto your white sheets, you aren’t angry and hateful towards your period. You’re forgiving and understanding. 

What are you tricks when it comes to getting along with your period? 

Can You Chart Your Cycle While on Hormonal Birth Control?

Towards the end of your journey with hormonal birth control you may be wondering, can I start charting while still on it, while I learn the in’s and out’s of FAM. Here’s my answer for you — Yes, and No. 

Boo. I know. What a boring answer, but stick with me.

Here's why you “can’t” chart your cycle while still on hormonal birth control: 

+ your chart isn’t going to look right...

+ most forms of hormonal birth control keep you from ovulating so there won’t be that spike in temperature

+ because your body is being tricked into essentially thinking it’s pregnant you probably won’t notice a big change in your cervical fluid while you’re on it.

But, in better news, Yes! Start charting your cycle as you end your relationship with hormonal birth control:

+ practice taking your temperature, checking your fluid and marking it on your chart

+ get in the habit of doing this. Every. Single. Day.

+ educate yourself before taking the leap

+ if you have a partner, get them on board

+ find a supportive group, even if that’s online (#femmehead)

+ and finally get excited to have a menstrual cycle again, and a real period

So, while you can’t technically chart your cycle because you won’t have those changes in fertility signs, you can darn well start practicing and get comfy in your new lifestyle change.  And if you're even more curious about this transition — keep your eye open for my new course, all about coming off  hormonal birth control, which I'm looking to debut in early 2017.   

I Can't Imagine Giving Up My Period

There is a lot of talk about getting rid of your period, whether that’s taking a certain form of birth control or skipping the placebo/“fake period" week of the form you are taking.

And I get why there are so many women out there that want to make it go away. But today I wanted to share why I can’t imagine giving up my period, and not having it anymore. 

You see, I used to hate my period just as much as the next girl. 

Before I had it, I wanted it to come. I begged it to come, worrying that I was some infertile freak who was different from her friends. 

But it wasn’t long after I finally got it (hooray!) that I was quickly sucked into the culture of hating it, complaining about it, and thinking it was oh so unfair that I had to deal with this thing every month and boys didn’t. 

It wasn’t until I quit the pill, started learning about, and practicing FAM, and finally got my real cycle back that I started to, dare I say, fall in love with my period. 

So, here are 10 reasons why I can’t imagine giving it up:

+ My period is such a good indicator of my health — mental and physical. Seriously, your period and menstrual cycle is like a canary in a goldmine. 

+ My period reminds me to take some time each month to slow down and reflect, which is much needed in today's culture of go go go.

+ It connects me to the greater female population. As soon as I say I’m in the business of talking about periods, women will shuffle up to me to ask about anything from menstrual cups to sharing their birth control experience. 

+ I wouldn’t get to try out fun period products. Cups, sponges, reusable pads, period underwear, fertility computers. Whoosh, out the window! No more of those. 

+ My cycle gives me a boost of motivation, energy and "social-ness” around ovulation. Seriously, I feel like a superhero that can take on the world. 

+ I wouldn’t be as creative or as inspired. I know because I used to be there. It was called college, and there I was scraping along doing just above the bare minimum, lost in a world of wondering what to do with my life. 

+ FemmeHead, which is a huge part of my life, wouldn’t be a thing. What would I do with my days?!

+ I wouldn’t have been able to heal my body image issues if I hadn’t gotten my real period back. Because I didn't let myself realize I had them in the first place. 

+ There would be no more mittelschmerz! One of my favorite words, and how excited I imagine pregnant women feel with their baby kicks (probably not quite that excited, but I do get a real rush of “cool!” when it happens). 

+ I feel bad for guys because they don’t get to experience the different phases of a cycle, and they can’t grow a tiny human from scratch inside of them. And without my period and my cycle, I wouldn’t get to either. 

In the end, we all have our reasons for loving or hating our periods. But today I challenge you to start taking a different perspective on your cycle. Especially if you’ve been brought up in a culture, like me, where there is so much embarrassment and anger surrounding our periods. 

Why I Could Get Down With a Modern Day Red Tent

It was probably a year ago that I read The Red Tent, and if you haven’t read this book, just go do it already. In fact, I kind of want to reread it. 

If you go searching for information about menstrual huts you often find stories about oppressive cultures and their traditions, but I like to look towards Native American moon lodges for inspiration. 

There is this incredible respect for menstruating women in most Native American cultures, and amazing respect for women in general. 

Some believe that women are purifying themselves during this time, not dirty and impure as many believe, and that women are the embodiment of a holy person during their period.

Women are believed to be more spiritually powerful and in tune during their period, and often consulted by others for advice.

Moon time is a time for women to come together in these special lodges, a time to be able to let go of their responsibilities, to come together with other bleeding women, share stories, gossip and give advice, to support one another, and to rest.

There is a legend I have seen a few times about why women menstruate. 

A long time ago, women were considered powerful in that they held in a lot of their family emotions, their joy and happiness but also their sadness and sorrow. They were the life-force of the family. However, sometimes that would become exhausting. 

So one day, the woman went to nature to try to find help and yelled out because the burden was too much. A Raven heard her and went to see her, asking her why she was crying. The woman stated she was overwhelmed with the burdens of her family. She loved her family but no longer could take everything in anymore. Raven said that he understood her pain and went to ask Grandmother Ocean for help. Grandmother Ocean offered to wash away the pain of the women who would come to her but that she could not help those farther away. So she went to ask for help from her sister, Grandmother Moon.

So Grandmother Moon said that she represented the feminine power and would send the waters of Grandmother Ocean into the women so her power would reach them. Once every moon cycle, Grandmother Ocean shall come into the women and purify them. And she did just that. Every month, there is thus a time when the women embody the power of Grandmother Moon and are cleansed by the waters of Grandmother Ocean.

Imagine being able to step away from life’s responsibilities for even a day to give your body, mind and soul what it needs?

There’s nothing I like more than getting together with other women and talking about menstrual related things, so a red tent is basically my dream scenario. 

Would you ever go to a red tent? Or have you ever? 

Listening to Your Body | Working With Your Menstrual Cycle

If you’re anything like me, I used to fight my period and cycle with all my might. And hey, maybe you still do? That a ok. It's pretty hard to change something you're not aware of.

So, today I want to dig into two different recent situations, where my body was telling me things because of my menstrual cycle, and how I have listened, haven’t listened, and the outcome because of that.

I am currently a few days away from starting my period, and it’s always around this time that my body, and sometimes mind, starts to slow down. I don’t have quite as much energy, and I definitely don’t have that social spark that I get around ovulation. 

My solution to this, that has worked very well for me, has been to work entirely from home (i.e. my kitchen counter and living room). I avoid networking, presenting ideas or proposals to others, and just about everything that falls within that social window. 

I have allowed my body and mind to move at a pace it functions best at, and I have been pleasantly surprised with my motivation and productivity. I have gotten more done in this past week than I have in the past month. 

Now, another example where I didn’t listen so clearly and tried to push past what my body/mind wanted — 

This time last month was two weeks before the ol’ wedding, meaning I had my period the week before the big "I do". 

I am much more emotional (not necessarily a bad thing) and I have much less patience. Normally, these two differences don’t effect me too much because I'm usually better at adjusting to it.

But with the stress, families coming into town, and non-stop, last minute running around, my mind and emotions were a bit fried. But I didn’t listen to my body because I didn’t think I had time to, and let’s just say I cried alone more than once from some small disagreement, decision that had to be made, or just because I was feeling uber stressed (and I was upset that I was feeling that way). 

Now, I obviously couldn’t have ignore my responsibilities those two weeks and hid in my apartment, but I could have taken a few more moments for myself. 

This month, I am fully prepared for, and welcoming of my period. I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection, practicing mindfulness and gratitude, and the end of my luteal phase and beginning of my menstrual phase are the perfect time to do all of these things. 

When was a time you can remember that you listened to your body when it was telling you to slow down, or maybe a time you didn’t?