Staying Cool + Comfortable During Summer Pregnancy

I have always been the type of person who would rather be hot than cold. I was the person who was constantly cold. 

But things have changed since getting pregnant. 

I am a literal incubator. And have a base level of heat that I have never had before. 

I used to sleep in pants and a sweater almost year round, now I sleep in my underwear and bra or tank top. 

I used to always bring a warm layer with me, even in the summer, and now I’m sharing that with someone else who’s cold and doesn’t have a sweater because I’m too warm to need it. 

Today I wanted to talk about ways to stay cool and comfortable while pregnant in the summer. 

Officially we’ve just entered into summer on the 21st but it’s been pretty steamy here in Iowa for springtime so I feel like I’ve had good practice heading into summer. 

Early on I ordered myself a mini misting fan, and it’s like a glorious handheld AC machine. It has been great to have if I ever have to be outside for extended periods of time or if I get a hot flash inside. 

I recently picked up a pair of maternity jean shorts. The two pre-pregnancy pairs don’t fit, I’m not comfortable in my spandex shorts so that left me with my overall shorts. I wear those, but it’s great to have a normal pair of shorts to throw on. 

Going along with clothing, it’s important to avoid those pieces that are too thick, heavy or tight. Let your body breath! Often when I’m home and warm I’ll just take my shirt off and hang out in my bra or pull my shirt up so my belly is exposed to cool off. 

Get a nifty cooling neck towel to go along with your fan when you’re outside. You just soak it in cool water, wring it out so it’s not dripping wet and drape it over your neck for instant cool shivers of relief. 

This one goes without saying, but drink lots and lots of water. Make sure you always have some type of water bottle with you, that you’re regularly taking big gulps and filling it back up. 

Throw on your best pair of comfortable, breathable sandals. My go-to favorites have been my classic Tevas. You can get them wet so if you can walk through a fountain or stream you don’t have to worry about ruining your shoes. 

Make sure you take a break if you get too hot. Either sit in some shade or go inside. Your “limit” has changed now that you’re pregnant. I overheat much easier these days, but I’m able to recognize when I need to stop for a bit, drink some water and cool down. 

You’ve got extra blood and weight so go ahead and throw your legs up when you’re taking a break. 

And finally, go swimming. It’s glorious to take the weight off your back and often is instantly cooling. You just have to be wary of any sort of contracting any sort of infection so if the water looks sketchy, maybe just put your legs or feet in. 

I was working an event a few weeks ago and they had one of those flat fountains that little kids love to play in. And it felt amazing to just walk through it in my sandals to instantly cool off. 

As I get further along I’m getting more persistent aches and pains in my back and ribs so I’ve been trying to rub them out with a little ball on the wall, take the weight off my belly and to rub some icy hot on my back. 

What are your tips and tricks to staying cool and comfortable during pregnancy in the warmer months? 

Pregnancy Judgement | Have I Gotten Any?

I must have been geared up for an unreasonable amount of pregnancy criticism or something because I’ve been surprised with the lack of judgement and shaming I’ve received.

(No complaints about that of course!)

I just always heard that you’d get all this unsolicited advice and hear horror stories. 

And so far I’ve had two instances of “judgement”. 

The first was when I posted a video about realities of diet during my first trimester as a vegan. Of course that’s going to invite in those who don’t like or understand plant-based diets. So I got a few, “I hope you change your diet” comments but nothing too bad. 

The second instance was recently when we were coming back from San Francisco. I was getting a cup of coffee at the airport and the lady ringing me up said “Not decaf? But you’re pregnant.” And I calmly replied that I knew the safe recommended limit and I was staying well below that with my one cup of coffee a day.She then went on to laugh and say “You know, if you drink coffee now the baby is going to come out drinking coffee!”

I gave her my sweetest crocodile smile and grabbed my cup of coffee. She probably gave me decaf anyways. 

Oh and I guess there was that one weird DM conversation I had on Instagram where a lady gave me shit for not having a home birth and said my husband was trying to force me against my will into a medicated birth (her definition of us going for an unmedicated, vaginal birth in the hospital). Which of course isn’t true. I’m very excited to give birth with my midwives in the hospital this time. 

So there you have it. My three experiences with pregnancy judgement. Hopefully I’m not inviting in more criticism by putting this out there into the universe, but I think I’ll be ok for the last 6 or so weeks. 

What’s the craziest thing someone judged you for, or said to you while you were pregnant? Share those below.

FAM Misconceptions + Mistakes

Women don’t want to move backwards. We want to move forward, into a time of knowledge and education, into a time where we can combine research and technology to find the best possible birth control option that works for us and our bodies.

Birth control is not a one size fits all thing. What works for me might now work for you. We don’t have cookie cutter perfect cycles, and that’s OK. That’s part of having a cycle. The exciting part, the empowering part comes from learning about your unique cycle and what you can do to work with your body to control your fertility in a way that fits with your life. 

So, while you’ll probably never hear me promote hormonal birth control options you’ll never hear me say that women shouldn’t have the option to choose them. Just like women should have the access to the actual information about FAM. 

Today I want to go over some misconceptions about FAM as well as some common FAM mistakes. 

So, what are some things one might hear about FAM? 

     + that it’s too hard

     + not effective enough

     + inconvenient (can’t have spontaneous sex)

     + we’re not smart enough to use it correctly 

     + all FABM’s (fertility awareness based methods) are lumped together

     + media confuses it with the Rhythm Method

It’s one of my main frustrations but the media regularly confuses FAM with the Rhythm Method. Which if you’ve learned anything about modern forms of FAM you know it’s very different. FAM has a perfect use rate comparable to the pill, but because all FABM’s get lumped together it takes the effectiveness rate down, because the Rhythm Method is often included in that. 

Seriously, if you go Google "Rhythm Method” right now, in the top right corner will pop up “Fertility awareness, also called: The Rhythm Method”. 

(Internal Scream) It’s not the same thing! 

Whenever you hear people (who know what FAM is) talk about it they’re usually talking about a combined method (like the Sympto-Thermal Method) where you track your basal body temperature, cervical fluid and optional cervical position on a daily basis and apply that to the rules of the method to determine where you are in your cycle and fertility. 

The Rhythm Method is based on the length of your cycle. Oh and assumes everyone has a perfect 28 day cycle and ovulates on day 14. 

Let’s move on to the “too hard”, “too time consuming” part of FAM. 

It does take a few cycles to learn, but once you know the information it doesn’t take more than a few minutes each day. Seriously I’m more in tune with and educated about my menstrual cycle and fertility now (not to mention more diligent and safe) than I was when I was taking the Pill. 

As for “spontaneous sex” people really need to widen their definition of what sex is. There are a lot of lovely sexual acts that don’t involve actual intercourse (penis in vagina), and these should be a part of your repertoire anyways. Plus there are condoms and other non-hormonal barrier methods available for those 6-7 days you have to avoid unprotected sex. 

Alright, let’s talk about some mistakes. 

+ not taking temperature consistently

     - not taking it at the same time

     - not taking it first thing when you wake up

     - lounging in bed for awhile before you take it, even though you haven’t actually gotten out of bed

     - not taking it every day

     - not taking it with a BBT thermometer

+ not following the rules/not learning them

     - don’t just read a few articles online

     - at least read a book like Taking Charge Of Your Fertility

     - best to then back that up with taking a course (online or in person)

[Shameless self plug: I offer an easy to digest Chart Your Cycle course]

+ not learning an actual method (creating a Frankenstein method)

     - i’ve had a few people comment on stuff saying FAM is crap, but then they go on to explain some frankenstein method that they’ve concocted

     - you should learn how to correctly take your BBT and check your fluid, choose a method and learn the rules to that method, and follow them

     - ovulation test strips should not be a part of your birth control plan

          + perfectly OK if you’re trying to conceive

          + and if you’re curious

+ apps are great, but you should learn the rules and implement them yourself rather than relying on what the app tells you

     - it’s best to choose an app that doesn’t have fertility prediction because they might sway your thoughts against what your signs are actually saying

          + I’m currently using Kindara, which allows you to input all of your data into a chart, draw a coverline, etc.

     - unless it’s an app like NaturalCycles, Daysy or LadyComp that has the algorithms, data and research to back it up

     - What I’m saying is don’t rely on predictions in simple period tracking apps as birth control

+ calendar methods, methods that don’t use fertility signs

     - don’t guess when your fertile phase based on past cycles

     - it’s not about the number of days, it’s about taking your temperature and fluid every day to calculate fertility 

+ only casually tracking temperature

     + don’t underestimate the importance of cervical fluid (it’s the greatest indicator of fertility and where you are in your cycle)

     + it is much more telling to me than temperature is

     + temperature only tells you when you’ve ovulated and when you’ve started a new cycle

     + using a temp-only method after you have realized you can’t track your fluid is one thing. But I think women should be learning how to and tracking both if they can. Especially at first

Phew! Ok I know that’s probably a lot to digest, and I may have gotten a little ranty at times, but hopefuly you get the gist. 

You are smart enough to safely use FAM if you so desire. 

It’s based on science, not some hippy, woo woo seance. 

Normal people like you and me use it. 

Do you use FAM? Have you considered it? Let me know down below. 

Prenatal Classes + Which Ones I'm Taking

There are endless ways to prep for the upcoming arrival of your new little babe. And one common way is by taking prenatal classes. 

But of course there are endless possibilities for classes to take. 

You can take the classes offered through your provider, online classes, specialty classes, you name it. 

Heading into labor, birth and motherhood I want to be as prepared, yet calm as possible. One way I know to do this is by educating myself about the physiological process of birth, learning labor techniques, and just getting myself excited for the experience. 

Today I wanted to break down the options available to me, and what I chose to do. 

[There is no right or wrong way to prep for a baby. You do you.]

Classes available through my provider/hospital: (I pulled these descriptions straight from the website) 

Baby finance — walks you through a sample budget, explores costs of parenting from infancy through college, and discusses insurance and legal issues to consider for your new family. 

Baby Safety — nursery safety, safe sleeping, home safety, baby-proofing your home and briefly discusses car seat safety. 

Breastfeeding — essential information on how your body produces milk, what an effective latch looks like, how to know if your baby is feeding well, the basics of expressing your milk, what to expect during the beginning of your breastfeeding journey, and what support resources are available after you've been discharged from the hospital.

Car Seat Safety — facilitated by a Certified Child Passenger Safety Technician. It focuses on three main objectives: Iowa's Child Passenger Safety law vs. Best Practice Guidelines; positioning the baby in the car seat and securing the harness; and how to secure the car seat in the vehicle via an install demonstration.

Childhood Vaccinations — the importance of infant vaccinations, addresses myths and answers participants' questions regarding immunizations.

Comfort Techniques — a more in depth study and practice in how to manage labor pain with fewer medical interventions. Topics include breathing, relaxation, visualization, focal points, positions and movement during labor.

Feeding Your Baby — shows parents how to feed babies in a nutritious, safe and encouraging way from birth through one year. Topics discussed include breastmilk and formula, when to start solids, how to introduce baby food, the progression of textures, self-feeding, and much more. 

New Dads — provides new dads with valuable insights and expectations regarding the important role of caring for their child. They'll learn about postpartum changes in mom, the vital role they play in their growing family, and the incredible joys and day-to-day challenges of parenthood.

Newborn Care — helps expectant parents learn basic caring techniques for a new baby during the first six weeks. You’ll watch videos and discuss common care techniques for comforting, feeding, bathing and diapering, as well as understanding newborn health and safety concerns.  

Understanding Childbirth — essential information on pre-labor, stages of labor and delivery. you will watch a birth story showing the progression of labor and delivery. You will discuss medical procedures, medical pain relief options available to you and cesarean birth

Other, well known classes available: (once again pulled directly from a website since I don’t have personal experience)

Lamaze — supports birth as normal, natural and healthy. Empowers women and partners to make informed decisions 

• Normal labor birth and early postpartum

• Positioning for labor and birth

• Relaxation and massage techniques to alleviate pain

• Labor support and communication skills

• Info on medical procedures

• Breastfeeding

• Healthy Lifestyle

The Bradley Method — helps women prep for natural labor and birth without use of medication

• 12-week course

• Importance of nutrition and exercise

• Relaxation techniques to manage pain

• Labor rehersals

• How to avoid c-section

• Postpartum care

• breastfeeding

Hypnobirthing — teaches mothers if you remove fear and tension, severe pain doesn’t have to be part of labor. 

• Intense relaxation will enhance natural birthing instincts that lead to a calm birth experience 
  

• Teaches women how to feel similar to daydreaming while remaining controlled and happy during labor and birth 

• Listen to hypnobirthing tracks

The Alexander Technique — movement technique used by those with back pain or posture issues, or those who want to feel more relaxed.

• Can help with labor breathing and opening body for birth

• Number of classes depends on your preference but proponents recommend a class a week

Birthing From Within — preps moms to give “birth-in-awareness” not to achieve specific birth outcome. 

• Developed by midwife, Pam England

• Curriculum adjusted to meet specific needs and differences of parents

• Recognizes pregnancy, birth and postpartum involved learning, holistic support and education

Alrighty then, now that we’ve got that list out of the way, let’s talk about what I’m planning on doing. (And this is always subject to change). 

Up until this point have I taken any classes? 

Nope. 

I did meet a wonderful woman (who also lives here in Iowa) who is a Hypnobirthing teacher and doula. Before our chat I didn’t know much about Hypnobirthing and kind of thought it was a little woo woo and not for me. 

But she graciously sent over a few Hypnobirthing tracks that I started listening to and that definitely spurred an active change in mindset when it came to thinking about labor and birth. 

I’ve always been very excited about labor, but I feel like our chat really spurred me into actively working on my mindset and other labor prep. 

In my quest to work on my mindset I discovered the book, Birthing From Within, which I didn’t even know was a legit “method” before researching for this blog post. (It makes sense that it is now that I know, and the book definitely talks about things that happened in classes so who knows where my disconnect was). 

What’s on the horizon for me when it comes to prenatal classes? 

Well, I’ll tell you!

I scheduled all my classes to be taken in June, and my first one starts this coming Tuesday. (Geeky squeal) 

I’m taking three official classes. 

The main one is a three-week birthing class offered through my midwife clinic. I was on the wait list for quite some time for this one so I was signed up for the “Understanding Birthing: Series” offered at the hospital as a back up.

I really jive well with my clinic and was hopeful to be able to take the class they provided. And it’s only $10 for the three classes!

The third week of June I have one Breastfeeding Class I’m taking. I’m really hopeful that I can be successful with breastfeeding so I figured it couldn’t hurt to educate myself with an actual class to go along with all the books I’ve been reading about breastfeeding. 

As you can see from the description above they’ll go over "information on how your body produces milk, what an effective latch looks like, how to know if your baby is feeding well, the basics of expressing your milk, what to expect during the beginning of your breastfeeding journey, and what support resources are available after you've been discharged from the hospital.”

I know breastfeeding isn’t easy, and takes work, but I’m so excited to have that experience. And it’s free.

And the final class I’m taking is the Newborn Care class. It came recommended by my older sister, and let’s be honest, I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to a brand new baby. And I think preparing myself can help give me confidence instead of being a nervous Nelly.  This one is also free.

Oh, and one final thing to mention is that Michael is coming to the Birthing Classes and the Newborn Care Class as well. I’m not sure he’ll come along to the Breastfeeding Class, but we’ll see. 

And that’s that. Those are the three classes I’ll be taking this coming month, and I’m geeking out excited. I love learning. I love classes. And I think going to classes will make it feel even more real. Does anyone else feel like a faker when it comes to baby stuff? Even when I go to my midwife appointments it doesn’t feel like I’m actually pregnant, just pretending to be or something (I don’t know honestly. I’m weird.) 

What classes did you take to prep for baby’s arrival? Do I have any Lamaze, Bradley, Hypnobirthing peeps out there? 

I Miss My Menstrual Cycle

I read a newsletter email the other day from Claire Baker about being productive and on her period. And it made me miss the ebb and flow of my menstrual cycle. 

I miss the monthly reset of my period. 

I miss the energy boost that comes with the end of my period. 

I miss the outgoing, energetic, take on the world mentality of ovulation. 

I’ve said it before but pregnancy feels like you’re stuck in your luteal phase. 

And I guess that’s because you are. 

Your luteal phase is the two(ish) weeks between ovulation and when you start your next period. So, if you get pregnant and don’t start that period you are kind of stuck in luteal limbo. 

Normally, the luteal phase is a great reminder to slow down and take it easy on your upcoming period. But being stuck here for 7 months has left me wanting that fresh restart and energy that comes from a new cycle, and I know it’s not coming anytime soon. 

I am really curious to see how my body rebalances after giving birth, what my hormones do, and how my cycle returns. But I have to say I’m looking forward to having a cycle again when it comes back. 

I’ve had a few people say, “Oh I bet it’s been nice not having a period.” And honestly I like my period. I like my cycle. And I miss it.

I look forward to documenting my returning cycle and fertility after birth and how I’m handling it. 

I’m not complaining about being pregnant. It’s been lovely and I’m so grateful that I am. I wouldn’t trade having a monthly cycle for this pregnancy. I’m just excited to get it back, that’s all.

It's My 28th Birthday! | First Baby Coincidence In My Family

So, it’s my 28th birthday today!

And a month or so ago I realized something pretty cool (or at least I think so). 

My mom was 28 years old when she gave birth to my older sister, Veronica (their first kid). 

Veronica gave birth to my nephew (their first child) 10 days before her 28th birthday. 

And I will be giving birth to this kiddo (also my first child) at the age of 28. 

Is that a crazy coincidence or is that just me? 

What’s up with 28 and having your first baby in my family? 

Also, I’ll be giving birth at the same hospital my sister delivered my nephew at, and the same hospital that all of my siblings and me were delivered way back in the day.

Talk about family tradition!

I still don’t feel like I’m old enough to be married let alone be pregnant. But then I remind myself, “Girl, you old!” 

Who knows why I still feel like a teenager. 

But so far my birthday has been great!

I woke up to biscuits and gravy delivered to me in bed by Michael, complete with Happy Birthday sung to me by Stevie Wonder. 

I’m currently working from my favorite little coffeeshop here in town, and then I’m going to see if a hair salon near here has any openings for a hair cut. 

Twenty-eight is going to be a good age. I can already feel it. There’s a lot of exciting changes happening. All of which I can’t wait to share with you guys. 

Does anyone else have weird family coincidences like this whole first baby at 28 thing in my family? 

21 TTC Affirmations | Phrases to Repeat When Trying For a Baby

Affirmations aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but they’re something I’ve grown to love over the past few years. And so when it came time to get pregnant, and it wasn’t happening these are some of the phrases I would say out loud to myself. Choose the ones that feel right to you, write them down, and repeat them to yourself.

"My body is amazing and wise. It knows exactly what to do.”

“My womb is warm. My heart is open. My body is ready to carry our baby now.”

“My body is capable and strong.”

"I am healthy. I am beautiful. My body is incredible.”

"I am ready to create life. My body is ready to create life.”

"I’m taking care of myself, preparing my body for a healthy pregnancy.”

“I am enough. My body is enough.”

“My womb is a lush jungle of warmth, love and nourishment.”

"I allow myself to be loved, and to create a new life out of that love.”

"My cycle is balanced. My eggs and fluid are healthy.”

"The most perfect egg is preparing to be released by my ovary, and the most perfect sperm is preparing to fertilize it.”

"I have everything it takes to become pregnant.”

"I’m letting go of any emotional blocks keeping me from conceiving.” 

"My body knows how to conceive a healthy baby.” 

“I am not upset when others announce their pregnancy. I don’t know their journey to get there.” 

“I am fertile!”

“Every time my period comes I celebrate my body for functioning correctly.”

“I join a community of women working towards creating life within their own bodies.” 

“My baby will come to me at exactly the right time, in exactly the right way.”

“I speak to myself the same way I would talk to a friend.”

“I am happy. I am healthy. I am ready."

Things That Kept Me Sane While Trying to Conceive

I think there are many of us who head into the journey of trying to conceive pretty naive. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but so many of us end up with a rude awakening to our fertility (but there are plenty who are lucky and conceive right away).

I’m not here to claim I know everything or that I had the same experience that someone who’s been trying to conceive for several years has had. So if you’ve been at this for two years and I offend you by any of my suggestions or anything I say, I apologize. I can only speak from my experience. 

Let me start by sharing two previous blog posts if you missed them:

+ My Journey to Pregnancy

+ My D+C Experience After a Blighted Ovum

So, long story short, it took us 11 months of trying, one blighted ovum miscarriage and D+C to get to our little nugget we have now cooking in my belly. 

But today I want to talk about those months of trying, the doubts and fears and things I tried to stay sane and carry on with normal life. 

Trying to get pregnant is just a lot of waiting. Like, a lot. 

Waiting at the beginning of your cycle for your period to end, for your fertile phase, and then waiting to see if you were successful that cycle. 

And I quickly came to realize I needed something to distract myself from obsessing over it all. 

So, this is just a brain vomit list of all the things that came to mind as I thought back over our journey of trying to get pregnant. But to reiterate, we didn’t have any fertility issues (that we know of) it just took us time. But if you’re struggling with infertility, treatments and all that, feel free to disregard this list. 

But, in no particular order:

+ Reading books — I just love reading books in general, but reading was super helpful. When I was in the mood to think about babies and pregnancy I would pick up a book on that topic. When I needed to distract myself and think about something else I was able to find so many great books to just escape into. 

+ Hanging out with friends and family — This has been something important for me over the past several years, but you can’t coop yourself up during this process. You need to get out and be social. To talk and think about stuff besides getting pregnant. But it’s also OK to have conversations about it too. 

+ Don’t forget about relationship with partner — TTC is always exciting at first. You kind of feel like a rebel, like ooh mom I’m 26 and gonna get knocked up. But it can wear you down real fast. Make sure you’re making time for each other outside of the whole baby making universe. Keep the romance alive, and pay attention to their feelings on the situation. 

+ Self-care — Pamper yourself. This means something different to everyone, but paint your nails, give yourself a facial, soak in the bath tub. Set aside some you time. When you’re trying and not getting pregnant you can start to get upset with your body and feel like it’s letting you down. Be kind to your body and mind. 

+ Journal — I can’t recommend this enough. Grab a random school notebook with no pressure to be poetic or have good writing. Just sit down and get whatever is inside your head out and onto paper. I promise it helps, so much. Even if you’re not you can feel like pregnancy is all you think about and talk about and people are sick of it. Get all of that out of your head and into your notebook. 

+ Meditation — Not everyone’s cup of tea. And even I’m not consistent at it. But when I get really anxious about something (and I was getting anxiety about oh my god what if I can’t ever get pregnant or have a baby of my own?) meditation is so beneficial to just bring you back down to earth and calm your mind and thought process. 

+ Create a “registry” — I’ve been working on my baby wish list long before I was pregnant or we were trying to conceive. But there was something soothing about working on my wish list that made me feel good. Like researching the perfect stroller or cloth diaper system made me feel like I was doing something to aid the process. And I would tell myself like when you are pregnant you’re not going to have to worry about all this because it’ll be ready to go.

+ Choose a few things to try out to boost cycle — There is an overwhelming number of recommendations when it comes to what you should be doing TTC. But taking a supplement, cutting something out, etc. can give you that feeling that you’re “doing” something. And it really can’t hurt. I focused on boosting my cervical fluid or healing my luteal phase. 

+ Drink your coffee, have your wine, etc. — When we first starting trying I stopped drinking alcohol, coffee, and was kind of anal honestly about being “perfect”. Well that only lasted a few months before I was like Girl calm the fuck down and drink some wine. So, I kept my coffee to the recommended 2 cups of coffee or less a day. And I would let myself drink up until ovulation and then I would take a “just in case” break until my period came again 

+ Stop charting — controversial coming from me, I know. But sometimes you have to realize what’s helping the process, and what’s making you crazy. We (I mean, I) was so focused on my chart, when I was fertile and when we were supposed to be having sex that it took all the fun out of it. Michael felt like a stud horse and that I only wanted to be physical with him to get a baby out of the deal. Taking a break from charting was one of the best things we did while TTC, but I still knew when I was most fertile because of my cervical fluid. 

+ Creating content ideas list of videos I wanted to make — Ok, this one is specific to content creators. But the whole time we were trying I had all these ideas for blogs, videos, vlogs that I wanted to create and share with you guys. But I couldn’t because I didn’t want to open up about TTC yet. So I just made a killer list of content ideas that has come in super handy now. 

+ Avoid forums — Or at least limit yourself to how much time you’re spending on them. There is literally always going to be someone out there with the same exact symptoms as you who is pregnant or not pregnant. 

+ Try not to test — This isn’t for everyone, but don’t start testing 8 DPO. You’re going to drive yourself mad cycle after cycle squinting and stressing about tests. For some reason I was always more upset to see a negative test than I was to get my period. So I just made it a rule that I had to wait until I was supposed to get my period before I could take a test. Unless there was some sort of event that I would want to know I was pregnant before (aka thanksgiving day race). But testing gave me so much anxiety and was always such a let down that I just had to not do it. 

+ Watch birthing videos — Why not start prepping for labor and birth now? I would have to limit these to when I was in the hopeful mood, and not the crap, my period just came mood. But watching birth vlogs has been something I’ve enjoyed for years. I think it’s great to see a variety of birth stories, styles, options, you name it. Even if you can’t see a live birth before you give birth it’s good to get an idea of what can happen before you’re in that position. 

+ Declutter and deep clean house — Maybe I’m just a weirdo but I find deep cleaning and decluttering really soothing. And I always feel really accomplished after it. It’s just another area that you can feel you have control over, when you kind of just feel like you don’t have any control over your TTC journey. 

+ Exercise — As much for your mental health as for your physical health. There’s all sorts of benefits both ways, but when you’re feeling upset or frustrated there’s nothing better than going on a hike, run or pumping some weights. 

Control what you can, and try your best to let go what you have no control over. There are so many emotions and thoughts wrapped up in the TTC journey. You have to do what’s best for you and your mental well-being because it can be a very stressful and draining experience. 

Now that I’m pregnant I try to routinely step back and remind myself of how I felt trying to get pregnant, my worries and fears, and to just tell myself see, you did it, remember this next time something is difficult. 

My Weekend Cleaning Check List

I’m not always in the mood to clean, who is, but about once a week, usually on the weekend I like to give my house a good deep clean. 

Day to day I just do dishes, make my bed and tidy up. And today I wanted to share my checklist to maybe share some inspiration with you. Now, you can tweak this based on the particular rooms you have in your home, but this is just what I do 

GENERAL START:

[ ] Go room to room, and pull everything that doesn’t belong in that room and take it to appropriate room

[ ] Start laundry (bedding, towels, dirty clothes)

GUEST BEDROOM/OFFICE:

[ ] Put clothes away (clothes I wore that aren’t dirty, as well as laundry when it’s done)

[ ] Clean off desk

BEDROOM:

[ ] Make bed (once bedding is done in laundry)

BATHROOM:

[ ] Clean off sink top (put items away + wipe down)

[ ] Clean Mirror

[ ] Scrub Tub

[ ] Clean Toilet

LIVING ROOM:

[ ] Tidy couch cushions + blankets

[ ] Straighten chairs

KITCHEN:

[ ] Put load of dishes in dishwasher

[ ] Clear off counter of dishes, food, etc.

[ ] Go through any mail or papers on counter

[ ] Wipe down counters

[ ] Wipe out sink 

[ ] Wipe down stove

GENERAL AFTER:

[ ] Dust surfaces (window ledges, counters, shelves, piano, etc.)

[ ] Vacuum + Sweep (bare floor and rugs)

[ ] Take out recycling (combine bin from kitchen + hallway)

[ ] Take out any trash if full (kitchen + bathrooms)

I like to get everything in its appropriate room first, because there’s nothin more frustrating than starting a load of dishes and finding a bowl or cup in another room. The same goes with laundry. 

And then I work from the back of my apartment to the front to start with the easy room and build momentum for the kitchen. 

And finally I like to save the dusting, sweeping and vacuuming for last because it’s just easiest to go and do it all at once. 

How does this compare to your weekly clean check list? Are there any tasks that you include in your weekly clean that I’ve forgotten on here? 

Programs That Keep Me Organized and Productive

I’m always on a constant journey to find new and improved ways to organize my life, my work, everything. 

And I find that the more fine tuned in my methods are the more productive I am. 

I just made a video for FemmeHead this week sharing a few programs I’ve been using to stay organized and motivated, so naturally today I wanted to hop on here and talk more about that. 

Because I love this topic. I love hearing about and learning what others use. And I always find something to be inspired by. 

How I first organized my time and created content for FemmeHead looked so much different than it does now. 

I know I have a ways to go but I’m feeling so much more buttoned up these days. 

So, let’s start with giving you a run through of how I stay organized, the programs and methods I use. 

Google Calendar

Ok, so this is a recent addition, and I’m obsessed. I use it obviously as a calendar, but also for a few other things. 

I block schedule tasks out each day. And what this means is instead of having a to-do list for the day, I will look at what I want to get done for the day, ask myself how much time each task will take and block out chunks of time for each task directly on my Google Calendar. 

So, an example day on my calendar looks something like this:

6 a.m. — Wake Up

6:30-8 — Eat, Journal, Get Ready

8-9 — Plan out week

9-9:45 — Write + send Monday Email

10-11 — Answer emails

11:30-1:30p.m. — Edit videos

2-2:30 — Call with company

2:30-3 — 30 minutes of exercise 

3:15-5 — B-School

5-6:30 — Edit videos 

Each day is different, but I can tweak and move different tasks to fit the time I have available that day. Naturally I have appointments and other commitments already in my calendar for the day, and I can see how much time I have around those to get work tasks done. 

Within Google Calendars I can set Reminders like “Pay Rent”. There’s also Google Tasks and Google Keep. So any to-do’s I need to remember but don’t have a place in the block schedule go in my tasks list. And Google Keep is a place I can keep lists, but I keep most of my lists in Wunderlist. 

Wunderlist

So, this is where I keep all my lists. Everything from grocery lists, meal ideas, books to read, movies to watch, but the biggest thing I use Wunderlist for is my content ideas list. 

Creating a master brainstorm list is one of the best things you can do if you have a blog, youtube, etc. 

So within a folder labeled “Content Ideas” I have several lists for different topics I talk about. Any time I get an idea for content I will put it on its respective list. Another list I have in that folder is called “Month to Month” and that’s where I can brainstorm the individual months of content. 

I have written out exactly how many videos and blog posts I need to create for a given month. From there I also write down any travel, events, courses, etc. that are happening that might impact what content I create. 

I first put in reoccurring topics like capsule wardrobes, skincare, updates. And then I go through my topic lists and pull ideas I feel inspired to talk about. At the same time I try to create a balanced content calendar of different topics so one month isn’t all minimalism and no cycle related content. 

Trello

From there I pull up Trello. I’ve been using the Kanban method recently to plan out the calendars for my Instagram, YouTube and Blog. 

I have a board for my social media calendar, which is just Instagram at the moment, and another board for my content calendar which is YouTube and my blog. 

The lists I have on my content calendar board are: “Content Ideas”, “Notes/Outline”, “Film Video”, “Write Blog”, “Edit”, “Upload/Schedule” and “Complete. 

And the lists I have for my social media calendar are: “Instagram posts”, “Write Content”, “Need Photo”, “Need Scheduled” and “Scheduled + Ready”. 

I start by creating cards for each piece of content including the post date, whether it’s a blog or video and the topic. I can then move each card along the lists as I complete the various tasks.  The same goes for creating Instagram posts.

I will bulk process several pieces of content at once, and I find that’s the best method for getting ahead and creating a lot of content. 

Evernote

Once I have my content calendar on Trello I will write the notes, rough drafts and outlines on Evernote. 

I have different notebooks for things like YouTube, FemmeHead Site, personal, different courses, etc. 

This is where I write the rough drafts for my Monday emails, write out rough drafts for new courses, you name it. 

Later

This is an online program I use to schedule my Instagram posts. 

Once I’ve gone through creating all the content, finding the photo, choosing any hashtags on Trello I will schedule the posts on Later. 

I used to use Hootsuite, but the app never seemed to work on my phone. 

And with Later you can post directly without needing to go through the app on your phone, but I like to have a final chance to make sure everything looks good before posting it. 

I am able to create and schedule all of my Instagram posts on my computer, which is easier than typing the captions out on my phone, and then when it comes time to post it will send a notification to my phone with the photo and caption. 

From there I can go on VSCO to edit my photo before posting it to Instagram. 

Calendly

This is the online program I use to schedule calls for interviews, podcasts, client calls, etc. 

I use Skype for the actual calls, but it’s so nice to just send a link to someone that has your calendar and availability in for them to choose a time that works for them. 

It also takes care of the time zones for you, which is always a place I struggled. But if you want an easy site to compare different time zones go to WorldTimeBuddy.com. 

Bit.ly

A site that easily lets you shorten links for YouTube description boxes, emails, whatever it may be. 

And I just discovered today that you can install a website extension so you can quickly shorten a link from whatever site you’re on, without needing to go to Bit.ly’s website. 

Canva

There are a few programs that have been game changers and Canva is one of them. I call it my photoshop for dummies.

I first discovered this years and years ago when I was trying to first create my YouTube channel banner, and was struggling with creating the right size. 

Now, apparently they’re teaching how to use Canva in school.  Awesome!

I came into FemmeHead knowing of Evernote and Bit.ly but all of these other programs (and so many others) are ones that I have discovered in the years since starting FemmeHead. 

Technology is amazing and I wouldn’t be able to do a fraction of what I now do without having these programs to stay organized and sane. 

Do you have any go-to programs that you think I, or others, need to know about? Share those down below. 

Getting Back Into Exercise After First Trimester

At 17 weeks I had a good cry about my changing body and what had been ingrained in me for my entire life (staying a certain weight). Turns out that watching the scale going up at each appointment gave me mixed feelings, and some major emotions bubbled to surface. 

This was something I did not expect at all. 

I’m so excited to be pregnant, to grow a baby, to get a belly. But turns out the weight side of things and my changing body triggered some deep underlying emotions I didn’t expect. 

And while I’m not doing it for the vanity of it, getting back into exercise now that I’m in my second trimester has been a positive change for many reasons. 

I have so much more energy when I’m exercising regularly. 

Turns out it’s really good for not only you but that baby you’re growing too. 

It makes me feel better about my changing body knowing that I’m keeping it strong and fit, ready for birth and life after that. 

Right before I found out I was pregnant I was doing my 30 Day Morning Challenge, which consisted of me exercising first thing every single morning. And it was a great little routine I had going. 

But then the anxiety of a recent miscarriage led me to stop exercising all together. I was so worried that pushing myself too hard, lifting too much weight, or squatting was somehow going to hurt my chances of keeping this pregnancy. 

And at the time for my emotional well-being the best thing to do was take a break from it. 

Well, then I started feeling really crummy in the morning, as most pregnant women do. And this led to the morning not being the time to do my exercise anymore. 

And then beyond nausea was my worst pregnancy symptom, exhaustion. I was so unbelievably unenergetic throughout the rest of the day. That made doing anything was hard. Looking back I know exercise would have helped my energy level, but I was just trying to stay afloat back then. 

But now that I’m here, and my energy and motivation has returned, I’m so happy to be getting back to exercise. 

I checked with my midwife to make sure I didn’t have any restrictions on what I could do. The only thing she said she didn’t want me doing was a really intense ab workout. Michael laughed at that and said don’t worry. 

The main thing I wanted to make sure I could do was run when it got warmer out. I really want to do a 12k in May when I will be around 30 weeks pregnant. I always said that one of the first things I wanted to do when I found out I was pregnant was sign up for a race. I need something to work towards and a race provides that for me. 

But for now, since it’s still pretty cold out, and I know I won’t go out and run until it’s above freezing I’m limited to what I can do inside. 

I started off by just going down to the gym in our building and walking on the treadmill for 10-15 minutes. 

Now, I’ve worked up to 15-20 minutes at an incline as well as some weighted or body weight exercises after that. No abs, don’t worry. Just a lot of squats and leg exercises as well as some arm stuff too. 

I can’t wait to get outside when it gets warmer and I’m so thrilled that it will be August when baby comes so I can go out on walks with them. 

What did exercise look like for you while you were pregnant, and how did that change with each trimester? 

When Your Pants Don't Fit + You're Too Small For Maternity Clothes Still

I know it takes several months to look “pregnant” but man I’m ready to have a bump. 

I don’t know about others but I was immediately bloated, not uncomfortable bloated, just looked that way. My stomach would fluctuate in size throughout the day, even now halfway in. 

And my pants quickly became uncomfortable. Some are fine in the morning, but by the end of the day I want to take a pair of scissors to them. 

So, today I wanted to talk about that weird limbo between your current pants not being comfortable anymore but not being “big” enough to fit into maternity pants. 

The first trick is going for your stretchy pants. These are going to become your best friend. At the beginning leggings were great because they were flexible enough. Now I’m down to one pair that still fits comfortably for most of the day. 

The next trick is the hairband on the jeans one. You take a hairband/rubberband and loop it through the button hole of your pants attaching it to the button to give you several inches of belly room. 

I didn’t love that trick for long for some reason. 

But an alternative to that that I did enjoy was a belly band. You wear it over the top of your jeans, covering the button and zipper area and it’s tight enough to hold your pants up and together without being too tight to where its digging into your stomach. 

This allowed me to wear my jeans again, but I did find that it looked lumpy so you just can’t wear tight fitting tops with the belly band and rubber band tricks. 

And finally I made my first transition into maternity wear, starting with maternity leggings. The kind that have the stretchy waistband (like you see with a lot of maternity jeans) didn’t fit my bump yet, and looked really baggy. 

What I found were these normal looking high waisted leggings that had a fitted, but super flexible waistband that were tight enough to stay up but stretch enough for my bump. These are still loose some days, but it’s totally manageable. 

And finally try out a few different brands of maternity wear, because while you might not fit into the Target brands maternity leggings and jeans you may fit into another. 

I went shopping with my sister at the end of February, and found a second pair of maternity leggings for literally 1/6 of the price of my first that I bought at a big store. And I found a pair of maternity jeans that not only fit my bump with room to grow but were $8, both a steal of a deal compared to full price. And this made me feel better about getting a few maternity pieces without worrying that I was breaking the bank getting things that I wouldn’t wear all the time. 

Now, if you’re pregnant in the summer months this opens up a whole different world of possibilities. 

I cannot wait until it’s warm enough to wear my overall shorts and my flowy summer dresses. Not to mention stretchy skirts, dresses, you name it. 

I’m very grateful that the second half of my pregnancy is in the warmer months, when my normal wardrobe will work perfectly!

What did you do for this in between stage to stay comfortable? 

Anxiety In First Trimester After Miscarriage

I have gotten several messages, emails, comments, you name it from beautiful people out there who have either: 

a. Gone through something similar and want to share their support or advice 

OR 

b. Those who are currently in the grasps of anxiety and fear of something happening and are looking for some words of comfort. 

So, today I wanted to sit down and let my thoughts about the whole thing hopefully flow from my memory, into this document and onto my blog. 

I found so much comfort in just reading or listening to others’ experiences when I was in the midst of it myself so I want to do my part in passing that good deed on. 

I knew that going into a second pregnancy after my miscarriage wouldn’t be a “everything is sunshine rainbows” experience. I knew that mixed in with the excitement would be fear. 

Fear that it would all go wrong again. Because there are countless couples that experience back to back loss, or multiple losses between successful pregnancies. 

I think the first thing that helped was realizing that I wasn’t alone. I knew people in my life that had experienced the same thing or something similar. And knew that there were so many incredibly loving and deserving people in the world that had difficulties getting pregnant. 

One in eight couples will struggle with infertility. That is a heartbreakingly high number. But chances are even if they haven’t talked about it someone close to you in your life falls into that 1 in 8. 

If it’s something that you know or think will help you then you can check out some online forums of other gals in the same situation as you, now or in the past. But you also need to be careful of these too because if you’re reading endless stories of loss after loss that’s not going to help you mental well-being. So find a healthy balance. 

The next thing that helps is to have your support person to talk to. This could be several people or just one. Is it your partner, your mom, your sister or best friend? It helps to have someone you to know to calm your nerves when you’re worked up and can’t get out of your head. Someone to say “Everything is going to be alright.” even when you can’t know that for sure. 

Next, find an outlet. I don’t know about you but when I felt like I was leaning too heavily on a loved one I felt guilty (even though I shouldn’t have, and I knew they didn’t mind). But I needed more than just conversation with others. I needed a safe place to just let it all out, no filter necessary. 

And I found that in journaling. For me this was a written journal, but for you it could be a video diary, art, a document on your laptop or phone, whatever works best for you. 

This was a space where I could just brain barf everything that was on my mind, no matter how ridiculous or minuscule it felt. It was so unbelievably cathartic to have a place to just get it all out. Out of my mind and somewhere else. It gave me permission to talk about it as many times as I wanted, in as much depth as I wanted. Without feeling like I had to find the right words to explain what I was feeling, but to just get it out of my head. 

An important thing to have through all of this is a health care provider you trust and feel comfortable with. My clinic constantly told me to call if I ever had any questions or concerns. I called in right after I found out I was pregnant to get blood tests, they booked me in for an early scan and each time I went in answered my questions and fears. 

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If this is a therapist, get one. If it’s asking a friend to meet you for diner, do it. 

I can’t recall if I did this, but when things feel like they’re getting out of hand I always return to meditation. Not only do I feel at ease after doing it, but the methods and lessons I learn from it help me throughout my days. 

And know that the anxiety will pass. It’s going to get better. You’re going to settle into your pregnancy little by little. That underlying question of fear might remain. It may creep to the surface every now and then. But finding ways to handle that when it does bubble up will be invaluable to you in the long run. 

And before you know it you will join the rest of the ranks of pregnant women, experiencing the joys of the life growing inside of you, but also all the fun little aches and pains. 

The most important message from todays post, what I hope you take away from it is the importance in finding ways in which to deal with the anxiety. What are your methods in overcoming that voice in the back of your head? 

And of course you’re not alone. You’ll never be alone in this. 

What have you found to help ease your anxiety? Even if it’s not related to pregnancy or loss? Share that below. 

My D+C Experience After a Blighted Ovum

As I went through this experience myself I was so grateful for all the women out there that shared their experiences, and I knew one day I would sit down and share my own to continue the chain of support. 

When I was told that I had a blighted ovum, and therefore was “miscarrying” I was given three options. 

1. Wait for my body to miscarry naturally.

2. Take the pill Misoprostol to induce a miscarriage. 

3. Get a D+C to clear out the contents of my uterus. 

I knew right away that I didn’t want to wait for it to happen on its own. 

I wanted to get back to square one as soon as possible. 

So, initially I was leaning towards taking the pill. Quick, easy and hopefully inexpensive. 

I told my midwife I wanted to think about it and I’d get back to her. 

But then we talked to a friend of a friend who had actually had two blighted ovums back to back, taken the pill the first time and had a D+C the second time. 

Everyone’s experience is different, but she strongly recommended the D+C because she had such an awful experience with the pill. 

I then did my own research, creating a pro and con list for both, but ultimately settling on the D+C. 

While I was devastated about the blighted ovum I wanted to get my cycle back and healthy as fast as possible so we could start trying again. 

I had to confirm I was “miscarrying” with two blood tests done 48 hours apart to make sure my HCG levels were going down. Those were fine. I’m getting pretty good with needles at this point. And because it was a blighted ovum I didn’t have that hope of oh maybe my levels are going up and baby is ok. 

From there I had to get another ultrasound so the doctor who would be performing my D+C could get better pictures of my uterus and ovaries. I wasn’t super stoked about this, but I scheduled in for one none-the-less. 

Then I had the nice surprise of finding out it was a transvaginal ultrasound when we got to the room. Yay. 

This was honestly probably the worst part of the whole experience (besides the obvious fact that I wasn’t going to be having a baby in 7 months). 

No small talk or anything, just my legs shaking from holding them awkwardly open for 20 minutes as she swirled and probed around in my vagina taking pictures of all my internal organs, or at least that’s what it felt like. 

After that I was finally able to schedule in for my D+C. From the time of my midwife appointment to when I got to get my D+C was around two weeks. I would have loved to just go in the next day, but oh well. 

So, it’s no eating after a certain point before your procedure. For me it was midnight because my appointment was around 8 a.m. 

Paperwork and waiting. 

Then I moved to another, more medical waiting room, where I got to undress, put all my belongings into a bag and change into my new outfit— one hospital robe around the front and the other around the back like a cardigan. 

A nurse came in to put in my IV, which wasn’t super pleasant because it just sat there and pulled at my skin for the rest of the time, but there are worse things that could happen. 

More waiting, then the doctor came in to talk me through things. 

Then my anesthesiologist came in to chat. 

And then they came to wheel me back. Michael kissed me on the forehead and went to wait for me in a different room. 

I was surprised to find it was a full on surgery room I was wheeled into. They put on my compression socks, got me situated on the bed and the anesthesiologist said he was going to start the medicine that was going to knock me out. 

As he waited for it to kick in he asked me what I did. And the last thing I remember is laughing and saying “Actually, I teach women about their menstrual cycles.”

And then the next thing I remember is coming to in a different recovery room. Groggy as hell and apparently telling the nurse checking my vitals all about the Thai soccer team that was stuck in the cave in Thailand. This part makes me laugh still, who knows what I was saying about it, or whether it made any sense at all. 

Then they wheeled me to my final recovery room where Michael came in to sit with me for a bit before switching out with my mom since I had to sit there until I was fully with it, and then some. 

I got some snacks and juice. And a Rhogham shot in my butt because I’m Rh negative. 

It was really nice having my mom there. She just sat there and knit and we chatted back and forth. 

And then she drove me home. 

All in all the actual D+C was a pleasant experience. I’m so happy I was knocked out as they poked around inside my uterus clearing out my empty gestational sac. And the doctor said that the scans of my uterus and ovaries looked beautiful so there was one positive that came out of the transvaginal experience. 

Plus once I went back into the surgery room it went pretty quick. Michael even said he didn’t even wait that long before his buzzer went off. That’s right, I forgot, they gave him one of those little buzzers like you get a restaurant to know when your table or food is ready. 

Would I chose it again in the same situation again, yes. Do I wish that it wasn’t such a wait to get it and that it wasn’t so expensive, also yes. 

Everyone’s experience is different, and it’s an emotional one for sure. I hope that by sharing mine I can help ease the fear of someone headed into get their own. 

Boosting Cervical Fluid Quality + Improving My Luteal Phase

Today I want to talk about what I did to boost the quality of my cervical fluid and improve my luteal phase. They were two separate “projects”, but both very important in having a healthy cycle. 

[Disclaimer: Everything I’m sharing with you today is from my own personal experience. I’m not recommending any of this as actual medical advice so please make sure you do your own research.]

Ovulation is obviously a very important part to your cycle, and if you’re trying to get pregnant then very important. But a lot of people forget about the role of good cervical fluid and an adequate luteal phase. 

So, let’s start by talking about cervical fluid. What is its role in your fertility? 

Your cervical fluid is made up of water, sugars, electrolytes and proteins that nourish and protect sperm. These are all important ingredients when it comes to getting his sperm to your egg. 

Your fluid provides an alkaline environment for his sperm. Our vaginas are naturally slightly acidic and “hostile" to sperm. Like his semen, your fertile fluid is alkaline which helps sperm make their way through the vagina. 

There are different types of cervical fluid ranging from dry and sticky to creamy and egg-white. And certain types are more fertile than others. 

Least fertile to most fertile descriptors:

— dry or no fluid present

— tacky, sticky, or gummy

— creamy or lotiony 

— egg-white

— watery/egg-white

It takes at least a cycle to notice the difference between which types your body produces. But if you do chart it and notice that it never really gets past feeling like rubber cement then you might have some difficulties when it comes to conceiving. 

Think of it this way. Your cervical fluid can either act like a spider web, catching or trapping your partner’s sperm, or like a fun ol’ slip and slide up to your egg. 

So, what are some things you can do to make sure you’re getting that good, baby making egg-white quality cervical fluid? 

The first thing you need to do is drink more water. Boring, yeah, but your cervical fluid is 90% water so if you’re not hydrated enough it’s obvious your fluid is going to suffer. 

Another thing I did was take a primrose oil supplement from Cycle Day 1 until I ovulated, where I would then switch to a flax oil supplement until my next cycle started. And this is because primrose can potentially cause your uterus to contract. 

One weird thing that I tried out, but didn’t think would have an impact was drinking grapefruit juice, as well as other citrus juices leading up to ovulation. I got a big bag of grapefruit and started juicing them around Cycle Day 10 (I normally ovulated between CD 13-15). 

And eating more veggies is said to be helpful in creating that alkaline environment necessary for not zapping his guys. 

Eating raw garlic was another one I saw, but I never gave that a try. But the cycle I started drinking more water, grapefruit juice and taking 1500 mg of evening primrose oil leading up to ovulation there was a big difference in the amount and quality of my egg-white fluid. 

Ok, what about some things that could be negatively impacting the quality of your cervical fluid? 

+ Accutane (an acne medication) 

+ Pain drugs (advil, idol, ibuprofen, aleve, etc.)

+ Antidepressants (zoloft, prozac)

+ Clomid (fertility drug)

+ Antihistamines (Sudafed, Claritin)

+ Motion Sickness (Benadryl, Dramamine)

+ Laxatives 

+ Progesterones

+ Antibiotics 

+ Hormonal Birth Control

And I think this list is just worth mentioning because often we don’t think of how medications affects us. 

Next, let’s move into the luteal phase, and what I did to improve mine.

My cycle is pretty regular and on schedule, but one thing I have found that throws it out of whack is flinging my body through many different time zones. 

It’s usually after a big international trip that I start spotting more and more before my period, sometimes 9 days or more. 

A “normal” luteal phase is anywhere between 11 and 17 days, with the average somewhere between 12 and 14 days long. 

So, if you’ve noticed that your luteal phase is shorter than 10 days that’s not the best when it comes to giving a fertilized egg long enough to implant in your uterus and send signals back to your ovaries to have the corpus luteum keep producing progesterone to keep the lining of your uterus in place. Because obviously if your uterus starts shedding that’s not great for your fertilized egg. 

I tried a few different supplements that didn’t have any impact on my spotting before discovering Vitex. 

I’ve made a few videos about this before so you can watch those here, here, here, here and here. 

I ordered this Vitex (two bottles), which is two pills per dose. After my period ended I would start taking those two pills each day throughout the rest of my cycle, taking a break again when my period came. And I would do that for 2-3 cycles, but often my spotting would clear up in that first cycle of taking it. 

Actually, the cycle before I got pregnant I had 6 days of spotting leading up to my period, and of course I thought, crap that’s not good. So I started taking Vitex the following cycle. 

Well, then I found out I was pregnant. I’m not sure what exactly you’re supposed to do in this situation but I just cut down to one pill a day and then just stopped taking it within a week or two. 

And that’s what I did to get my cycle in tip top shape when it came to killer cervical fluid and a strong luteal phase. 

For anyone trying to get pregnant I always recommend looking into a few things that boost your cervical fluid because they are nonintrusive and good quality fluid is so important. 

Phoenix Recommendations | 2019

I had a great time in Phoenix, and will be happy to return. I always look for others blogs to find recommendations when traveling to somewhere new, so when I can add my own little recap or recommendation to a city I’ve been I like to. 

So today I want to share my favorites in three categories: coffeeshops, food and hikes in and around the Phoenix area. 

But I was only here for two separate two week periods, so like a month in total. So I couldn’t make it to all the different places there is, and I guarantee I missed quite a few cool places. 

Coffee — Michael and I work a lot from coffeeshops when we’re traveling and we usually find a few that we keep returning to. 

+ Songbird — when we came down to check Phoenix out we went almost every day to get coffee here and work. It’s in an old house, has a great vibe and yummy chia seed pudding. 

+ Schmooze — probably my favorite place overall to work from. It’s in Scottsdale and is literally a workspace cafe, so you’re not going to get any dirty looks for pulling out your laptop to get some work done. 

+ Be coffee + Food + Stuff — only went here for coffee once but it was such a neat space. I would love to host an event there. 

+ Ollie Vaughns — this was the coffeeshop around the block from the first place we stayed during our last trip and we went here quite often to work. They have really reasonably priced avocado toast and for that I’m a fan. 

Food — We tried to cook some meals at the places we were staying but there are so many great veg options here. 

+ Vegan House — if you like Thai food and are veg this is a great place. They’ve got the classics as well as some different combination as well. Plus the people who work here are super sweet. 

+ Simon’s Columbian Hotdogs — this is one of my favorite places we ate. We would go here for lunch after working the morning away at Schmooze. They have vegan hot dogs, coleslaw and all those things you can’t have at grandmas anymore. 

+ Shady Park — I have had a hankering for ramen, and this hits the spot. So often it’s hard to find vegan ramen because of the broth, and I’m not a fan of having a bunch of extras in my ramen. I literally just want the broth and a pile of noodles. And this place delivers!

+ The Coronado — Everyone loves this place. I appreciate it for their vegan biscuits and gravy. I’ve gone there three times and that’s what I got every single time. 

+ Ikes Sandwiches — the Handsome Owl was my favorite. If you want an easy delicious vegan sub this is your place. Plus they give you a sucker with your sandwich, what’s not to love.

+ The Cutting Board — this is a random one we went to twice while we were staying with Michael’s parents out in Mesa. Simple, vegan and delicious. I had their biscuits and gravy and a burrito or something like that another time. 

Hikes — one of the biggest factors that drew me to spending our time in Phoenix. 

+ Flat Iron via Siphon Draw — My favorite hike here by far. It was challenging, but doable. We tried it once but didn’t give ourselves enough time so we came back with friends and tackled it. And it’s one that you feel super accomplished when you make it to the top. 

+ Jacobs Crosscut (and anything at Lost Dutchman) — this one was great for a little trail running, or a leisurely stroll. You’ve got a beautiful mountain backdrop as you wind through a desert wonderland. 

+ Cholla Trail on Camelback — Camelback is a popular hike, but one worth doing. Michael took us up the Cholla trail, which I came to find out was the more difficult path. But it was a fun, rocky challenge. 

+ South Mountain — Michael’s cousin took us on a hike here while we were visiting, and its a nice quiet place to go on a hike. 

And there we have it, a handful of my favorites from our time in Phoenix. 

Estrogen Deficiency

So, I’ve talked a lot before about progesterone deficiencies because that’s something I have experience with personally. And so while I don’t have personal experience with estrogen deficiencies I wanted to try to balance it out with just doing some research and sharing what I’ve found. 

But take all of this with a grain of salt, I'm no expert and I’m not pretending to be. 

This is simply to get your wheels turning if you’re experiencing any of this. You don’t have to struggle, solutions are out there for you. 

Alright let’s start with the importance of estrogen. At puberty it helps with the growth of our breasts, pubic and armpit hair as well as helps start our wonderful menstrual cycles. 

As you get older it keeps your cholesterol where it’s supposed to be, protects your bones (for both men and women), and it impacts your brain, heart and skin. All things I would have no idea had anything to do with estrogen if I hadn’t been told that. 

When we think of estrogen we think of the reproductive system and menstrual cycle. Our ovaries are what produce the largest amount of estrogen in our body. It is also made in our adrenal glands as well as fat tissues. 

A lot of things can influence how much estrogen our bodies make. We can have too much estrogen because of things like birth control pills or estrogen replacement therapy. 

Next let’s go into the symptoms of an estrogen deficiency (and it’s worth noting it’s normal to experience some of these at different points in your cycle when your estrogen levels are naturally lower):

+ hot flashes

+ irregular periods (common to have light or nonexistent periods)

+ depression and mood swings

+ breast tenderness

+ increased UTI’s

+ fatigue

+ trouble concentrating

+ weight gain

+ hair loss

+ insomnia

+ dry skin

+ vaginal dryness

+ night sweats

+ loss of libido

Estrogen is an important part of how our bodies function. “It builds bone, strengthens muscle, slows aging, raises libido, enhances insulin sensitivity and boosts serotonin.” 

It can be common for women going through menopause or peri-menopause to be low in estrogen. 

But if you’re young and therefore shouldn’t be experiencing menopause you might not be ovulating, which is the key event in menstrual health. 

If you’re experiencing irregular cycles, anovulatory cycles, or other hormonal imbalances I hate to say it but hormonal birth control is not the answer. It is not going to “balance out your hormones” it’s going to shut off ovulation and therefore stop estradiol (one of your natural estrogens). 

If you’re reading this and think “this is me!” don’t stress out. I love the book Period Repair Manual for hormonal imbalances as well as Lara Briden and Alisa Vitti’s websites. While I’m not in a position to recommend treatment there are lovely women out there like Lara and Alisa who can. 

Have any of you dealt with too little estrogen? What did you find helped you, or are you still searching for an answer? 

My Journey to Pregnancy | My TTC Story

[Trigger Warning: Miscarriage talked about in this blog post. So, if you’re sensitive to reading about that maybe wait until you feel you’re ok and ready to read about it. Also I swear I bit in this blog post, but that’s so I can fully share my experience for you. So if you’re offended by that I’m sorry. Ok, into the blog post.]

I always told friends that if I didn’t get pregnant right away I would feel like a failure because cycles and charting is kind of my thing. 

Obviously, your knowledge of your cycle doesn’t change your fertility. 

And little did I know fertility and conception doesn’t just automatically go quicker because you “know more”. 

I remember when one of my best friends was in her first trimester, and I was trying to get pregnant and she said something along the lines of “I’m just worried that I’m going to miscarry, and I know I’ll feel so much better after my 13 week appointment.” And it was the first time it had crossed my mind that there was fear and worry after getting pregnant. 

I was so consumed with just getting pregnant that I thought once I checked that off the list that they’re wouldn’t be anything to worry about. 

Oh baby, was I wrong. 

We first had the talk on a plane ride back from vacation in late 2016 or the start of 2017. Basically, the timeline of when we wanted to have kids and all that exciting stuff. We settled on a fall baby, which would fit perfectly into our schedule for the year. It would be the start of Micahel’s "off season" and would give us plenty of time to just figure out how to be parents, whatever that means. 

So, an October baby meant getting pregnant in January. 

I dutifully ordered my prenatals to start taking in November of 2017 in preparation. January came, I had my last drink on January 4, stopped drinking caffeine and was ready to get pregnant. 

Well the trying came and went, the waiting came and went and my period at the end of that cycle arrived. We were both upset. This isn’t how it was supposed to go, we were going to have an October baby. Well, now we weren’t. 

Ok, well maybe it would just take another month or two. I started looking into the statistics of how much quicker couples who charted got pregnant. Cycle came and cycle went, period after period coming and going. 

After three months we decided to stop charting. It was in our heads, messing with our relationship and the whole “trying” process. That’s right, I stopped charting my cycle. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t still really freakin’ in tune with my body and my cycle. You just can’t ignore you cervical fluid turns out. 

Then, on my birthday, May 24th, I went on a morning run with my mom. And with those first strides my boobs went thu-thump, and I thought “What the?” And I knew, this was different from every other pregnancy symptom I’d convinced myself of over the past five months. This was the real deal. And when we took that pregnancy test a day or two later it confirmed it for me. 

I was pregnant. 

We were on our way out the door, to put on a race and we spent the drive talking about the exciting what if’s, asking ourselves “when are we supposed to go to the doctor?” and other innocent questions like that. 

But we were excited, I had pulled up a “due date calculator” online. January 29th was our day. I started mentally plotting out the timeline of it all. I’d be X weeks pregnant during X time. My second, third trimester would start here and here, and I’d be super pregnant for Christmas. 

I was four weeks pregnant when I found out, and I would be another five weeks until my first midwife appointment. 

Well, that appointment finally came. I got my goodie bag, I got my physical check up, I got to ask my questions, answer their questions. And just before it was all done, almost as we were walking out the door she asked, Oh, would you like an ultrasound today? 

Michael and I looked at each other and replied "Sure!”

We were going to see our baby. The one I had been imagining from the pregnancy books, the week by week app I had installed on my phone. 

But this would be ours. We’d get to see them, hear their heartbeat. This was the moment so many parents waited for. 

Jelly on the belly, monitor in hand, pushed across my stomach annnddd….

Nothing. 

I knew before she said anything. 

I had my own eyes. 

I knew what the ultrasound should have looked like, where the fetus should have been. 

And it wasn’t there. 

Nothing was there. 

My midwife was pretty quick to speak. She explained where my uterus was, that there was a gestational sac, I was “pregnant”, but there was no baby. 

Michael put his camera down, scooted closer, grabbed my hand and I focused on holding my shit together. 

We were both blindsided. This was not supposed to happen. I had already waited six, almost seven months for this, and this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. 

She explained my options. I responded I would need to think about it. 

I just need to get out of there was all I could think. 

But they had to draw blood, and then I’d have to come back in two days to get more blood drawn to confirm that my HCG levels were going down. 

They were. I was miscarrying. 

It would be another two weeks, and one painfully uncomfortable vaginal ultrasound later before I would get booked in for a D&C. 

But there was something freeing about that procedure.  

On the day we found out, Michael dropped me off back at home, asked for the tenth time if I wanted him to stay home from work and come up with me, but I said no. I honestly just wanted to be alone so I could fully just let it all out. I went upstairs, sat on my bathroom rug, leaned up again my tub, and sobbed uncontrollably. 

But eventually I had come to terms with it all. It wasn’t meant to be this time, and I was ready to clear out my uterus, get my first period after that so I could be back at square one and try again. 

So the D&C was a great experience. I was ready for it. Yeah there was a lot of waiting, and it ended up costing more than I expected, but it was me getting one step closer to being back to a place I could try again. 

Not to mention getting knocked out with general anethsesia was a beautiful thing. I did not want to be conscious for that procedure. 

I headed home with those super comfy stretchy underpants (seriously where can I buy a pack of those) and a pad the size of a football wedged between my butt cheeks and sticking painfully to one thigh. 

I gave myself diaper rash wearing pads that next week, and had to ask my sister for a butt cream recommendation because damn it was uncomfortable. I ruined at least one pair of underwear because the ol' diaper cream got on it and it apparently doesn’t come out. 

I cramped, I bled, but I healed. 

And four weeks later my period, my own, real period showed up. 

I was so happy with my body. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

This time around I was wiser. I knew not to be so naive. I knew it would take time, and that was ok. And I knew it might not go as planned. 

I wondered what it would be like to one day have that experience of seeing your baby for the first time on an ultrasound. (That was my new equivalent to a positive pregnancy test.) 

August came and went, so did September and October. But then on my fourth real cycle post D&C a few days before Thanksgiving I decided to take a test. 

I knew I had a race to work over the next few days, but I also knew that if I was pregnant I didn’t want to be carrying around heavy things. You see, I life with my uterus I’m pretty sure, bruising the front of my thighs and hips from lugging crates, tables and barricades around. 

And if there was a chance that somehow my uterus wasn’t empty, well, I wanted to be a little more careful with it. 

Weird things had happened, but I’ve literally convinced myself I was pregnant so many times that I have learned not to trust any “symptom”. 

It was a few days before my period so there was a pretty good chance that if I was pregnant a test would tell me. 

So, not thinking I was, but hoping nonetheless I peed in my designated pee container (which is in fact a tiny to go tuppaware for your sauce - don’t worry it is only used for this now) and I got out one of my cheap, Amazon pregnancy tests that I had bought in bulk back when we started trying. 

I dipped the stick in. One Mississippi…two Mississippi….threeee Mississippi. 

Put it on the top of the little test package, told my phone to set an alarm for five minutes, and watched the pee push the pink dye across. 

Normally, I would have shoved the stick back in the package, to be hidden from view until my alarm went off. But not this time. I wanted to watch it happen, or not happen. I wanted to know right away. 

The dye went across, collected in the control line, and finished it’s journey. 

Nothing.

Whelp. At least I knew. And I had kind of known hadn’t I? It was just a precaution. But it was ok. It was just another month, another cycle, another no. 

A few moments later, after coming to terms with all of this, I looked back down. What the?! My eyes were playing tricks on me. Those little shits knew where that second line should be. And I swear it was some sort of mirage I was seeing. Giving my some pathetic sliver of hope. Like seeing a lake in the dessert. I could see the faintest, ghost glimmer of where that line should have been. 

But it was negative I knew it. I had watched it go across without even hesitating around the test line. The spot where I now swear I could see something. 

I looked around, trying to adjust my eyes. Cleanse the palette like I was sniffing some fucking coffee or something. 

Ok, look back down. 

My eyes aren’t little shits, there’s a line there. It’s light, but fuck, it’s there. 

Holy shit, I’m pregnant. 

And then I immediately thought, “When am I going to tell Michael?"

You see, he gets stressed during race week (understandably so). And I knew he would want to be fully present to absorb the good news, so I would just have to wait. So, I wandered around, with this huge freaking secret that I couldn’t tell anyone. And trying not to bang my uterus against too many things. 

I kept it a secret for five whole days. That’s almost a week. I don’t know how I did it. 

But he knew right away, even though I had spent far too long trying to come up with some cute, clever way to tell him. Like it was a marriage proposal or something. 

He was guarded, hesitant, and didn’t want to share the news with anyone else. Because we knew it could easily be too good to be true. We needed proof. 

So I called my midwife clinic, went in for blood tests again. 

And they came back great. My progesterone levels were banging, and my HCG was doubling. Good job body, I thought. 

I scheduled in for an ultrasound for 5 and a half weeks, but when we got there and she put in my last period and said, hmm I’ll be surprised if I see anything I immediately said, “I don’t want to do it!” And she was a total sweetie about it. 

I rescheduled for one at the very end of 7 weeks. And it turns out that not getting the first scan was a huge turning point. I went into that one at 5 weeks expecting them to say it was a blighted ovum again, that it was all going wrong again, and that there would be no baby, again. 

But after saying NO I DON’T WANT TO DO IT something happened. This sense of calm and peace came over me. Why shouldn’t it be fine? Why would I be any different than every other lady that goes on to be pregnant and have their baby? 

So, even though I wished I was still blissfully ignorant I wasn’t and couldn’t be. I had to accept reality, and be happy with what I had. 

And when I went in for my ultrasound at 7 weeks I knew it was going to be ok. I knew there was going to be a baby.

And there was. 

I didn’t get to hear the heartbeat, but she measured with waves or something and it was 160. And the little stinker was measuring 8 weeks 5 days.

So we’ve got a due date again. August 3, but I have a feeling it’s going to be a late July baby instead. 

Right in the heart of race season, but it’s going to somehow work out perfectly. 

And I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Several weeks later we went in for our first midwife appointment, the place where it had all gone to shit last time. But I was pretty confident. It was all ok. I knew my baby was in there, and we were going to get to hear the heartbeat for the first time. 

The appointment went great. The midwife I had was a dream, and when she went to check the heartbeat she warned us that it might take her a minute to find it and to not worry. But as soon as she put the doppler to my stomach there it was. Loud and clear.

Our baby. 

Oh also during the physical exam, as she was feeling around she announced “You uterus is nice and full” or something along those lines. 

Good job body, you’re doing it. 

I’m now 14, almost 15 weeks and feeling great. I remind myself of my gratitude to be pregnant each day and to enjoy the journey. Even all the little aches and pains. I can’t believe I’m already in my second trimester and my little nugget is only 6 months away. 

So, if you’re out there in the midst of your own TTC journey just know you’re not alone. There are so so many couples out there going through what you are. We just all do it in silence for some reason. Now that I’m here, I want to talk more about the whole thing. 

If there are any topics about trying to get pregnant or being pregnant that you want me to talk about let me know down below. 

Books | Shows | Movies I've Read/Watched Recently

I was just going to write a post to share the books I’ve read recently, but for whatever reason I either can’t recall all the books I’ve read since the last post like this, or I haven’t read that many. So instead I decided to share three books, shows and movies that I saw recently that I enjoyed. 

BOOKS

Like a Mother — This one was recommended by Ingrid Nielsen and I couldn’t agree more. Even if you’re not looking to have a kid anytime soon I think it’s fascinating to read about the culture surrounding pregnancy and motherhood. All of the press and expectations to be perfect. 

Educated — This is a memoir by Tara Westover and a fascinating read. We all had pretty similar upbringings, but she came from a survivalist family who didn’t believe in public education. It reminds me of Glass Castle in simply the aspect of having parents who went against the norm. But it’s a great journey through her struggle getting an education eventually and dealing with the aftermath of her family and upbringing. 

The Great Alone — Not a true story, but a great tale nonetheless. It’s told from the perspective of a teenage girl with an abusive father. He decides to take the family to Alaska to live off the grid. It’s a great story about community, wilderness and survival. 

SHOWS

You — We’ve all heard of it by now. It was actually Michael that started watching it first, and then I caught up on the first two episodes so we could watch it together during our first week in Phoenix. Stressful, frustrating, but interesting. Also creepy because of the potential that this actually happens. 

Sexual Education — I just watched this one. I love British shows and I love anything to do with puberty, growing up, and things like that. And it’s not stressful at all so it’s a good one to combat other shows and movies out there. 

The Haunting of Hill House — I watched this one finally a month or so ago after several friends were talking about it. You see, I’m a chicken so I started watching this in the middle of the day with plenty of sunlight, and I skipped past the scary parts to see what happens without terrifying myself. And it’s not super scary actually once you understand what types of jump and scares to expect. 

MOVIES

Birdbox — Another one that everyone has watched. Reminds me of A Quiet Place and other movies where there’s some unknown force that comes in and you have to do something like blindfold yourself or not make any noise to survive. I’m not a huge fan of Sandra Bullock’s character, but I enjoyed the movie. 

Made to be Broken — I love documentaries about running, hiking, climbing, outdoor adventures in general. And this one is about Karl Meltzer who is trying to break the speed record for the Appalachian Trail. I’m fascinated by the AT and PCT so I love watching things about them. Also ultra marathon runners fascinate me. 

On the Basis of Sex — I love Ruth Bader Ginsberg, and Felicity Jones who played her in this film. And while I’ve read a book on RBG before it was such an amazing film to see. Not to mention I teared up at the end. I won’t spoil it by saying why. And people clapped after it ended. Highly recommend. 

What recommendations do you have for me?  I’m a big fan of shows or movies that deal with outdoor adventure, ultra marathoners, and I really enjoyed both Sex Education and The Haunting of Hill House which are very different shows.

2 Year Anniversary of Going Full-Time With FemmeHead

Today is my two year anniversary of my last day of work at the restaurant before “going full-time” with FemmeHead. 

It was actually the last day of work before we spent a month in Bali in 2017, but when I asked my manager for the time off a few weeks before I nervously told him that my last day before I left would be my last day…ever (in a much less dramatic way than this all sounds of course. I was very nervous and grateful during that conversation.) And he was awesome about it. Didn’t even tell me to screw off or anything like that. 

And so I flew off to Bali with a group of friends wondering how long I would make it, telling myself it would be ok if I had to go back to working a few days here or there, or changing paths completely. 

It was back in 2016 that I had made the decision to finally start treating FemmeHead as my full-time job instead of this hobby I did on the side because I enjoyed it. And I really do believe that mental switch was a big breakthrough for me. 

It was a terrifying prospect to rely solely on FemmeHead, but I seem to have found a way to make it work. 

I’m not here to share some story about how I went from nothing to making six figures, that story might come some day, but for now it’s just me feeling grateful for the freedom I have with FemmeHead. 

But like with everything in life it has its pros and cons. And while I focus on the positives and how I can grow, there are those days where I’m struggling and wishing for more stability. 

When it comes to healthcare I hear how little some of my friends are paying each month, that the companies they work for match what they put into their retirement funds, and my heart hurts a little bit. 

But you can play the “grass is always greener” game until you’re blue in the face. That’s why I focus on the good. 

I create my own hours, which allows me flexibility and freedom. I can help out a friend or family member in need. If I want to do something at 2 in the afternoon or during the morning I can just adjust my hours for that day and still get everything done that I want to. 

I can work from anywhere, which allows me to travel. Michael will travel quite a bit for work and I can just tootle along because I just need a little bit of internet to get it all done and you can find that anywhere these days. Just give me my camera, laptop and a wifi connection and I can rule the world. 

I’m in full control with what I choose to do. Who I work with, what I spend my time on, it’s all my decision. Even if I’m creating sponsored content, I get to choose which companies to work with and what I want to say. I get to create the courses, videos and blog posts that I’m inspired by. I get to choose whether I coach 1-on-1. I get to say yes or no, it’s not someone else telling me “you’re going to do this”. 

Now this all requires self-control and motivation but that’s easy to have when it’s something you’re excited about. 

I’m excited for the possibilities of 2019. I want to create new courses, as well as a workshop/in-person class. I want to meet up with others during my travels, work with companies that align with my brand and me. 

And when it’s yours, there’s this extra layer of excitement when someone signs up for a course, or writes you an email to share how you’ve positively impacted their life in some way. I hope I never grow numb to that excitement. 

So, cheers to two years of supporting myself with FemmeHead, and finding a way to make this all work. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I would love to hear if FemmeHead has had a positive impact on you in any way, as well as anything you want to see from me in the future. Thanks for being awesome!