My Not So Minimal Skincare Routine

So my skincare was pretty basic the last time I update you guys. 

It consisted of:

+ Pacifica Sea Foam complete face wash (use at night)

+ Acure CGF repair serum (one pump in the morning, two at night)

+ Alaffia Day Cream (morning and night)

+ Amara Organics Aloe Vera Gel (morning and night)

But it wasn’t quite cutting it this winter. My skin was dehydrated, crying out for more moisture, and I was struggling with how to give it what it needed. 

Then one of my best friends started talking about how she had been looking into the whole Korean skincare craze. 

It seemed like a lot, and I’m all about less is more. But I was intrigued. Very intrigued. 

So, I started looking into it for myself. And the main thing that came across for me was the focus on nourishing your skin, about getting the moisture back in your skin. Eureka! I thought, exactly what I was looking for. And I must admit I was green with envy by all the dewy skinned girls sharing their 10 step routines on YouTube. 

The ten steps include:

One — oil cleanser 

Two — water-based cleanser 

Three — exfoliator 

Four — toner 

Five — essence

Six — serum 

Seven — mask

Eight — Eye Cream 

Nine — moisturizer 

Ten — SPF or overnight mask

I took a look at what products I already had, that I liked, and really thought through how I wanted to go about it. 

I realized I could nix the first step for now because I don’t wear anywhere as much makeup needed to need a double cleanse. I do eventually want to get one, but I was trying to not kill my bank account or overwhelm my skin at first. 

My Pacifica cleanser counted for Step Two. 

I’ve always struggled with finding an exfoliator I like, so while I research to find the perfect one I’ve stuck to baking soda or coffee grounds to exfoliate a few times a week. 

Steps four and five were what I was most excited about. I haven’t used a toner for years (beyond apple cider vinegar) because I find astringents to be too harsh for my skin. After a lot of research and a lot of reviews read I settled on these two: 

+ Son & Park Beauty Water (toner) 

+ Missha Time Revolution (essence)  

And I must say I love these two products. Plus, if I’m feeling a little extra parched like I did when I first came home from Bali I’ll put a few layers of each on for extra hydration. 

I actually just finished up my Acure CGF repair serum, which I’ll be replacing with Klairs’ Vitamin C Serum. 

While the dewy skin I saw girls reveal after using a sheet mask was almost mouth watering (I’m a total dewy/hydrated skin addict) I didn’t like the amount of waste that was produced with the single use sheet masks. 

Instead I have been using and loving two masks from Lush over the past few months. The Rosy Cheeks mask for irritated skin, and the Oatfix mask when I need that hydration. But I am going to look into making my own DIY reusable sheet masks from muslin this month so stay tuned for that. 

For step eight, my Kiehls eye cream has served me well, but is getting to the end of it’s life so I’ll have to look into a replacement for that one. 

My Alaffia day cream moisturizer worked for step nine. 

And finally SPF. I got a sensitive skin SPF 50 from Neutrogena for my trip, but that leaves a white cast on my face so I’m looking for a sunscreen that isn’t full of terrible ingredients. 

Oh, and you better believe I’m intrigued by the hydrating overnight masks. I have a couple I’ve got my eye on, but for now I’ve just been taking a tiny dime sized amount of primrose oil and patting that on my face to soak in while I sleep. 

So, this sounds like a lot, but is it worth it? 

You bet your sweet behind I think it is. My skin has done a complete turn around from where it was before. 

And while I give a lot of credit to slashing my addiction to sugar, I also can tell the difference that just giving some extra love (and moisture) has done for my skin. It has been looking fan-freakin-tastic. 

But while what we put on our skin is important, I’ve also been focusing on staying hydrated with good old water, as well as keeping my diet full of nutritious, delicious whole foods. 

Phew, lots of info, I know. Share your favorite beauty products, whether you’ve tried the Korean skincare routine and what other skin tips you have below. 

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I'm Learning About Libido + You Should Too

I’ve come to the realization, from research and reflection that I let my libido slip away without questioning it, disconnecting myself from that aspect of my body. Female libido is quite taboo to talk about, even among friends.

We don’t discuss what we enjoy, what we don’t, our orgasms or lack thereof, and heaven forbid we mention the word masturbation. 

We think it’s just something we’re supposed to know about, but not talk about. 

And we do this all subconsciously. Or at least I did. None of this even crossed my mind until I started looking into the connection of hormonal birth control and libido. But it was then that I was like, girl you have a lot of work to do on yourself. 

So, today I’m going to share three books I’ve been working my way through and a website that every women should spend some time with. 

+ Pussy — The book that started all of this. It opened to my eyes to the issue at hand in my personal life, but also broadened my horizons to the fact that there are plenty of resources out there for education, and enlightenment. 

+ Extended Massive Orgasm — An overwhelming, somewhat cringeworthy title when you first say it out loud, but I think it’s a staple read for those exploring their sensuality. And depending on your level of comfort with this topic I suggest keeping this book for an at home read (unless of course you’d like to have a conversation starter on hand). 

+ She Comes First — This one I worked my way through in a matter of days. I found myself laughing, with happiness, at the information I was learning. Mostly how much more involved the clitoris is in the female anatomy then I ever knew before.  

+ Come As You Are — I’m still working my way through this one, but it’s worth sharing. It’s a book based on cutting edge research which shines a light on to female sensuality/sexuality, and what factors play a role into it. 

+ OMGyes — This is one of my favorite discoveries. It’s one thing to read about it, but entirely another thing to here real women discuss masturbation, orgasms and what gives them pleasure. I have heard about this site before but never felt compelled to check it out. The other day though I saw Emma Watson talking about it in my newsfeed, which led me to type it into my search bar. (Ah, the power of marketing). It is such a refreshing discussion, and done in such an amazing way. It doesn’t feel pornographic at all. 

I think that something else that comes along with education is discovery. And while yes this means putting it to practice (I promise it’s a lot more fun than you think at first), this also means sitting with your thoughts, feelings and preconceived notions about your sexuality, sensuality and libido. It’s not always fun to dig into the past, but it helps to pull out a journal, and word vomit your thoughts. 

Ask yourself questions like:

+ What was your first sensual/sexual experience? Was it solo or with a partner? Was it wanted, or done because you felt pressured? 

+ How was female masturbation viewed and talked about around you growing up? Did anyone even talk about it? 

+ When you first started partaking in sexual activities with a partner, how did you approach it? Did you hand over the reins, or did you direct because you knew what you liked? 

+ How did your view of your own body effect how you approached and enjoyed sexual encounters? Did you worry about what your vagina looked like, your pubic hair, how your stomach looked in certain positions? 

+ What was your first orgasm like? What do you remember about this experience? 

+ When did you start to find your confidence in your sexuality? 

+ Did you ever notice your libido disappear? What do you think caused this? What did you do, if anything, to get it back? 

+ Where is your relationship with all of this at today? 

I could go on and on with questions. Just start writing without any goal in mind. I just want you to get as much of it as possible out of your head and onto paper. You’ll be surprised with what bubbles to the surface. 

[If you want to connect to your body in another way, you could look into learning how to chart your menstrual cycle. I offer an easy, insightful course for newbies, as well as one to help those of you struggling with making that leap to get off hormonal birth control. — Affiliate links included in this article.]

Dear Victoria | A Letter to My Teenage Self

Hey Victoria,

Ok, where to even start. I feel like I have so much to say, but don’t want to overwhelm you. So, I’ll try to stay concise. Keep to the important bits, right?

Learn about your body. Knowledge is power, and don’t hand that power over to a guy. Go figure out what’s happening in there, and why. Explore, question, don’t be ashamed. 

Your body is normal. The skin. The hair. All of it. Yes you’ll look back on photos and wonder what you were thinking when you plucked your eyebrows into near extinction, but you’ve got to try it out for yourself. Do it for you, and no one else. But maybe just leave your eyebrows alone, pretty pretty please. 

Remember when you couldn’t wait to get your period, but then quickly fell into the trap of negativity when it finally came? Yeah, having a period is not annoying or unfair. Your cycle is this amazing thing that you can use to connect to yourself, to other females, and the world in general. 

What you put into and onto your body matters. Learn about nutrition. And just know the more natural, the better when it comes to food and beauty products. 

Let go of the material things. It’s never going to be about what you own. What matters is how you treat other people, and what impact you leave in your wake. Collect memories, not things. 

There’s going to be so much beyond high school, college even. You’ll get a taste of your future self there, but you won’t really start to discover her until you’re out. 

Write. I know it seems like such a big task when you have to write a two-page paper, but writing is going to become like therapy to you. Get a journal and make a date with it each day. 

And finally, listen to that nagging voice in the back of your head. Let it guide you, it knows where it’s going. 

Oh, and don’t forget to smile, hug, laugh, cry, scream. Emotions are healthy. All of them. Don’t be afraid to feel them. 

Keep pushing girl, 

Victoria 

[If you found yourself thinking, "Geesh I really want to learn more about my body and my menstrual cycle" then go check out my Chart Your Cycle course. Take a chance to learn more about a part of your body you've been told to be ashamed of and annoyed by for so long.]

I Tried A Few Pressure Points + Wasn't Disappointed

Boy oh boy how a few pressure points saved me on my flight over to Bali. 

If you keep up with me on social media or get my weekly emails you’ll already know that I was suffering from a pretty gnarly head cold for two days before flying out of Chicago. 

The week leading up to our departure I had been getting 3-4 hours of sleep each night, which is next to nothing for a girl who needs a solid 8 hours to flourish. 

I knew I was in for a world of hurt if I didn’t start finding some remedies. 

Personally, I’m not a fan of medication. Yes, it has its time and place, but I knew I was still OK without it. 

The morning we were supposed to drive to Chicago I woke up at 3 a.m. feeling pretty rotten. I decided to quit tossing and turning in bed, and to get up and do something about how I was feeling. 

The first step was boiling some water. I put some of it in a mug with a teabag, and the rest in a big pot on the stove, where sweet heavenly steam began to rise rise. 

Very carefully I would lean my head over, inhaling the sweet sweet steam which helped soothe the pressure, and a bit of the congestion as well. At the same time I started sipping on my tea, and gargling some salt water. 

I also did a smidgen of yoga, focusing mostly on the legs up the wall pose, which doesn’t sound like it would help congestion, but it sure does. 

But the biggest discovery was pressure points. No, I’m not saying I discovered them, but I found a few to try out online. I think I Googled "pressure points for congestion and headaches”. 

The first is right below your eyebrows, where they stop in the middle of you face. Push up on your brow bones to help relieve some of that sinus pressure. 

The next spot is to either side of your nose, you can feel right under your cheek bones, push there. This helped with my congestion. 

Another one that helped relieve some of the pressure in my head was on the back of my neck, at the base of my head, about where my hairline starts. At either side of your spine if you feel around you can find two, roundish lumps, about two inches apart. 

Throughout my flights I would use these three pressure points to help relieve some of the pain and discomfort, and at certain points it would help clear the congestion. 

But on our final descent into Denpasar, the pressure built up to an almost unbearable amount. I was able to get my right ear to pop, but the left side remained very pressured for a few hours to come. 

Thankfully after a day of being in Ubud, surrounded by warmth and nutrition food, I was back to feeling better than ever.  

Learning to Say "No"

Just as important as it is to say “Yes!" to exciting, new opportunities, it is also important to learn how to say “No". 

Saying no doesn’t have to be negative. It doesn’t have to be hurtful or seen as you letting other people down. 

It’s about cutting out the unnecessary, the bad, the things you don’t enjoy or don’t serve you. It's like taking a minimalistic approach to your daily activities. Saying "no thank you" to certain things will allow you to say "Yes, please!" to more good things. 

It might sound a little selfish to some, but learning to say no is important. 

I don’t know about you, but I’m the sort of person who wants to please everyone, make everyone else happy and I HATE when people are mad at me or dislike me. 

But when you’re busy running around trying to make everyone else happy, who do you think gets left behind? Yup, you and your needs. 

Whether it’s your period week and you don’t have it in you to go out, or it’s on vacation and you don’t want to go do an activity on a particular day. It’s OK to say no. 

When I was able to do that during my menstrual phase, it helped my periods go by smoother. And when I started doing it on this trip I was finally able to make time for a few habits and tasks that had been getting behind when I was trying to do everything that everyone else wanted to do. 

I’ve been able to start back up on my morning journaling routine. Some may think it’s overkill, but I get so much from my different journals each and every day. I can see the difference, and I can feel the difference. 

I was also able to miss out on activities and adventures I wasn't interested in at that time in order to sit down and do some much needed work. And it amazed me how much joy I got from just being able to work. I made sure to stop and send my gratitude out into the universe for this fact. 

While yes, I’m technically on a “vacation” I’m also at the very beginning of FemmeHead being my full-time job, that means my main source of income. And while I’m setting it up to run itself most days, I still need to show up and put in a few hours of work here and there. 

So, while I very much so believe in the power of yes, I also believe in the power of no. There is a balance between the two that you have to find for yourself. And what works for me may not work for you, but just realizing you can say no to people is something that a lot of people don’t think they can do.  

Stop Counting Calories | A Better Use of Food Journaling

I have tried to count calories on maybe two separate occasions, and both times I failed at whatever restrictive goal I had set for myself. 

I don’t know about you but I finally realized that counting calories just isn’t something I’m interested in. When I hear about people tracking what they eat, the majority seems to be using it to keep track of the caloric aspect of food. 

But today I wanted to share an alternative benefit I have found from tracking what you eat, and it has nothing to do with losing weight or restricting yourself. 

The first time I discovered the power of tracking what I ate was back in 2012. I had suffered from never ending stomach pain that I just sort of wrote off as normal for the longest time. I was uncomfortable, groggy, and constipated. 

But it finally clicked, pain and discomfort should not be the norm. Not to mention that I thought one bowel movement a week was perfectly normal. 

I decided to track what I ate for a week, and how I felt after that meal. A pretty simple task. I knew it must be something I was eating that was causing me so much pain, but I couldn’t figure it out before recording my meals. 

So I would write down what I ate, the ingredients involved, and then how I felt after. Was there pain, discomfort, bloating, and when was I going to the bathroom. Things like that. 

From this I discovered that meat, especially red meat was a big trigger for the stomach pain. I was a pretty typical Iowa girl. I love potatoes and bread, but I decided what’s the harm in giving up meat for a week just to see if anything happened? 

And if you’ve heard any of my story before you know the answer. I felt so so much better after that week. But just to make sure, I decided to eat meat once more to see if I could tell a difference. And I could. The stomach pain, bloating, etc. returned quickly after eating that meal containing meat. 

I thought, ok what’s the big deal with giving up meat. I can do that. So I started in on my vegetarian journey in October 2012. I felt so much better after that switch that in the following April I decided to go 100% vegan as well as cut out gluten. And that summer was a definite peak in life on how I felt. I had no more stomach pain, bloating, I lost 5 - 10 pounds, and started having daily bowel movements, which I’ve learned is the norm.

I have done it on a smaller scale since then. Sometimes while traveling abroad I will experience some digestive issues. By tracking what I am consuming, and how I feel after I am able to see what foods I need to cut out while my stomach heals itself. 

Another time I’ve done it is when I started breaking out again this past summer through this winter. I started paying attention, and discovered the culprit, sugar. Because of this I challenged myself to take a month long break from added refined sugar, and have been pleasantly pleased with the results. No longer is my forehead broken out. Yes, I still get the occasional pimple or two around ovulation, but that cluster of ever lingering acne on my forehead is almost gone. I have also noticed renewed energy as well as less of an afternoon fog, and sudden drops in energy throughout the day. 

What in your life is currently ailing you? Is there a chance it could be related to your diet or fixed by food? Start tracking your meals, not restricting anything, but just noting how you feel after each meal. What are your food triggers? Maybe you don’t have any, but maybe you do. 

Keeping a food journal is a great first step into starting to pay attention to what you put in your body, next you can start noticing environmental factors. Quality of sleep, daily activities, exercise, relationships, work, etc. 

Feel free to share anything you’ve noticed through food journaling.  

What My Life In Bali Consists Of

It’s incredible what thrusting yourself outside your normal routine can do for you. So, much so that I think I’m going to start routinely spicing it up a bit. 

Our first stop in Bali was the coveted Ubud. It was where we spent most of our time here last year, saving our trip from the disappointed taste in our mouth from the south. 

There wasn’t much work to be done in Ubud, at first, but this was because there was so much to do, so many adventures and fun to be had. 

A typical day in Ubud, went a little like this:

+ wake up

+ yoga 

+ breakfast 

+ go on an adventure

+ eat lunch (Ubud has so many delicious offerings in this department)

+ hang out, swim, work, go on another adventure

+ dinner

+ bed

After eight nights in Ubud, we ventured North, to the coast, finding ourself in a calm villa just west of Lovina. 

I thought life in Ubud was slow paced, but boy was I pleasantly shocked with how chill the north coast was. Here is where I started to find my groove, establishing a routine finally. And getting so much inspired work done.

Our days up on the North coast looked a lot like this:

+ wake up and make a cup of coffee

+ go out to our balcony to write in my journals 

+ start my work for the day

+ eat breakfast

+ either work more or go on an adventure

+ eat lunch

+ swim, play ping pong, continue working

+ eat dinner

+ watch a movie, play more ping pong

+ go to bed

I loved having plenty of comfortable spots around our villa to sit and work, not to mention just being able to take a quick break from work by jumping into the pool.

From there we drove almost three hours east, to Amed. 

We only spent a two full days in Amed, but we had a lot of fun in the ocean while we were there, which was an nice change from the pools, not that I have anything against pools, we had a pretty awesome one at the house we were staying at. 

Amed went like this:

+ wake up

+ head out to the front deck and watch the fishermen come in

+ journal 

+ eat breakfast

+ go scuba diving or snorkeling for a few hours

+ find some lunch

+ head home

+ take a dip in the pool and work for the afternoon

+ dinner

+ bed

After our time in Amed we headed back to Ubud, bringing the trip full circle. It felt so good to come back to a familiar place, to recognize the streets, to go back to our favorite spots here again while discovering new places at the same time. 

And that’s where I’m at right now. There’s three days left and it’s much of the same schedule, except for we’ve found that delicious balance between work and play. 

I am pleasantly surprised with some of the "lessons" that have come out of this trip and I’ll be writing about those soon enough. 

Bali, you have my heart. I’m already thinking about when I come back to you next time. 

I Started Saying "I Love You" to My Acne

Crazy I know, but one day I just started doing it. 

As I would go through my skincare routine every morning, and evening, I began to say "I love you, and you, and I especially love you" (to the bigger pimples) as I rubbed my cleanser, serums, lotions and whatever other elixirs I felt like that day. 

I’m not quite sure why I started or what exactly made me do it. But doing it made me feel better about my breakouts. It honestly did. 

And it reminded me of something I used to do years ago, where I would name the really big pimples. I would then go around introducing him to my friends, and other weird stuff like that. By making it into a little bit of a joke, it was easier than trying to hide it and hate it every time I looked in a mirror. 

Now, I don’t believe that by me saying “I Love You” is healing my acne, but it did create a significant shift in my perspective towards my zits. I stopped picking at my skin when I started thinking more fondly of it. And I started taking better care of it, taking more time each day. 

And it made me want to do things nice things like drink more water and eat better food to nourish my body and my skin. 

Google “power of positive words experiment” and you’ll see science fair like set ups where someone takes the same food (an apple cut in half, or rice scooped from the same pot), keep them in two separate containers, and each day these people say sweet, nice things to one, and hateful, mean things to the other.

Guess which one started decaying and molding faster? Yup, the one that was spewed all the negativity, and hate. 

I believe in the power of energy because it changes how you act towards something. And what you put out into the world is what you receive (not always of course). 

It’s very similar to changing your perspective towards your menstrual cycle. If you can start looking at it in a positive, loving way, you’ll begin to learn how to coexist with your own unique cycle. 

So I challenge you to start looking into not only your mirror, but to you life in general with love and understanding. Say kind, loving words to yourself. Hell, set up your own apple experiment if you’d like. And I guarantee you’ll be surprisingly pleased with the results.  

A Must Read For All Ladies | "Pussy"

I had seen this book floating around the internet for a bit, knowing that I would eventually need to buy it for myself. 

There are plenty of books I will check out from the library, read once, enjoy, but never pick up again. But this was one of those books that I knew I would need to mark up, and go back to time and time again. 

I easily convinced my friend that we should read this in our two-person book club  (it’s since grown to a three-person book club). We split it up into sections, and dug in. 

The first two chapters were an adjustment period for me, getting acquainted with her language, and trying to decipher what this book was about. But seriously, people would ask what it was about and I couldn’t explain it to them. 

I found myself really, really getting into it starting at chapter three. But I don’t want to give any of it away, because you HAVE to go read this yourself. Seriously, go get it now. I just passed my copy along to my mother to borrow while I’m away, because I want her to read it. 

Without spoiling the book for you I want to share my biggest take aways. And they were pretty big for me. 

The first thing I realized was that I need to start taking better care of myself. Yes, I’ve gotten really good at doing things consistently like journaling and meditation. But I needed to start pampering myself. 

Who knows why, but I used to view “pampering” yourself as girly, unnecessary, and frivolous. And I’ve been going through this whole process over the past few years of rejecting everything that falls under the female stereotype in this way of trying to discover myself. I like to take it to the extreme sometimes. 

For example, I’ve gone through [separate] periods where I've stopped brushing my hair (letting it start to dread), wearing makeup, shaving, getting dressed up. Things like that. It has been this process that I guess I needed to go through to find my own middle ground. 

But I also came to this realization that I needed to stop rushing through the pampering parts of my days that already existed, like skincare, bathing, etc. And golly has that been fun. I’ve started taking more baths, and just letting myself sink in and enjoy it. I’ll usually bring some fruit and a giant glass of water with me.

I’ve also allowed myself more time to go through my skincare routine in the morning and at night. Instead of rushing through getting it all of my face, I’ve slowed down to enjoy the process. I let each product sink into my skin before moving on to applying the next. I’ll give myself a little face and neck massage. I’ve started putting lotion on my whole body (it’s winter, my skin is thirsty!). 

And I’ve started to dip my toes into the wonderful world of Korean skincare, but that’s another post in itself. 

I’ll even spray a little hair oil in before heading to bed, and it’s these little touches that just make me feel so much better. And it only takes a few extra minutes each day. 

I’ve also started taking more time to prepare my food, laying it out in a visually appealing way on the plate or in the bowl, and something about that makes eating feel so much more special — luxurious almost. 

I’m a pretty tidy person, but she talks about this whole idea of preparing your house, food, evening, etc. like there’s a really important person coming over. But the kick is that special person is you. 

It has been a fun little process retraining my mind to not feel guilty about pampering myself or having nice things. 

But probably the biggest realization this book provided me with was that I have this real disconnect from my sexuality/libido. I know, it’s a crazy thought that someone who is so connected to my body on the functional side (my cycle) as well as the “spiritual” side of it can be disconnected from the sexual side of it. 

I’ve known for a few months that I’ve wanted to dig deeper into the topic of libido, but this book made the need for that even more apparent. And it has also gotten me very excited at the same time.

This book was much needed without even knowing it. It’s already sparked big changes in my life and I’m looking forward to seeing how it influences me going forward from here. 

I always love hearing of the books that have an impact on people, past, “That was a good book.” So, I always try to share mine, and listen to what others share as well.  

Winter Blues + Learning to Handle Them

I don’t know about you but I STRUGGLE in the winter. Me and cold just do not mix well. 

Firstly, it destroys my skin…and my hair and nails. And these gloomy, gray, overcast days really do put a damper in my mood. 

There’s a name for that — Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD (how fitting). It’s a type of depression that comes and goes with the cold:

+ Irritability

+ Feeling tired, sluggish

+ Difficulty getting along

+ Really touchy to criticism or rejection

+ Arms or legs feel heavy

+ Sleeping longer than normal

+ A change in appetite, such as craving more carbs

+ weight gain

For me I see it as if the seasons were like the four phases of your cycle. Winter would be our period (obviously), Spring would be our follicular phase, summer would be our ovulatory phase, and fall would be the luteal phase. 

How have I chosen to deal with it this year? I set myself some winter goals:

+ eating a diet of whole foods, cutting out the refined sugar and the processed junk. 

+ moving my body at least 20 minutes a day (sometimes you just need a little midday dance party) 

+ getting out of the house and spending time with friends and family

+ finding the sun when it is out (seriously, find it, close your eyes, take a deep breath and soak it in, savor it when it does come out) 

+ don’t sit in the dark (turn a light on! I’ll catch myself sitting in the dark after the sun has gone down and if I don’t turn on a light I’m ready for bed by 5:30)

+ take a few extra minutes with skincare first thing in the morning and before going to bed (rub in that moisturizer and give yourself a mini massage)

+ meditating (elevates my mood and helps me process)

+ journaling (I don’t have a therapist, I have journals)

Like with my period I don’t view winter as something that needs to be fought. I used to protest winter by not owning a winter coat. And who was that hurting? Yup, only me. 

How have you learned to coexist with winter? 

My Body Wakes Me Up on My Period

It doesn’t always happen but it happens 99% of the time. 

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night because you had too much water, or whatever, to drink before bed? As toddlers we wet the bed every now and then as we were being potty trained, learning to recognize the signals our bodies were giving us to tell us that we needed to go to the bathroom. 

So, we wake up to go to the bathroom instead of wetting the bed, but have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and just knew that you were on the verge of leaking? (blood, I’m talking about period blood here)

Almost every month it happens, usually just one night, that heavy day of my period. 

I’ll just wake up on my own, and head on into the bathroom to empty out my cup, and it’s always super full, on the verge of leaking. And maybe it’s just me, but how freakin’ cool is that? 

And hey, there’s always that time every now and then when I don’t wake up, and leak out and all over my bed. It happens, but more often than not I wake up knowing I need to change. 

Another interesting occurrence is how I always start my period in the morning, first thing after I get out of bed and go to the bathroom. It’s always started like that. And even if I don’t look at the temperature on my thermometer before going I just “know” it’s going to come. I can feel it. 

I know I’m not alone in thinking these little quirks of having a period are absolutely fascinating. What is it about your period that interests you? I challenge you to take a moment to think about it, write it down or just say it out loud to no one in particular.  

Setting Yourself Up For Success

Today I want to talk about things I do that are part of the process of getting shit done and going places in my life. I look back to just a few years ago when I had no direction in life and how I started and spent my days then vs. how I do now, and it’s a pretty staggering difference.

So I wanted to share my top 10 tips for setting yourself up for success. 

Stay organized — this has been a game changer. I always kept a planner throughout school to keep track of my due dates, activities and work schedule, but just in the past year and really actually the past few months I’ve taken it to the next level. I am a visual person so I like writing it all down where I can have it laid out in front of me. I do that in a few ways. On my computer I use Evernote to house all of my notes for blog posts, videos etc. Everything you see online comes from Evernote. I have created different notebooks for my YouTube channel, my website and my different courses. From here it is all easily searchable and accessible in one place. The other powerhouse to my organization operation is my bullet journal, which is a recent upgrade from a standard planner. I have a simple monthly spread complete with my five goals for that month, my content calendar for FemmeHead, a financial page to make my five money goals for the month as well as track all of my money coming in and going out each day. I have a brain dump where I put all of my ideas, things that need to get done, etc. I have a gratitude page because I think finding your sparkly bits each day is important. And then from there I have weekly spreads were I have a little weekly overview calendar for work, events, etc. a place for my five goals of the week and then I go into Monday with my tasks, etc. Having this bullet journal has been a life changer. I have been so much more productive and focused, it’s incredible. 

Keep your home tidy — Take time every single day to do a quick tidy. For me that is 15-30 minutes each morning where I make my bed, and then put any dishes, clothes, etc away from the day before. My mind functions so much better when I know there isn’t clutter sitting around my house. Right now we are going through some of Michael’s storage so there’s stuff out in the living room that can’t go back quite yet because we’re sorting through it and I’m really trying to not focus on it. I also like to take one day a week and do a deeper clean including vacuuming, wiping things down and doing laundry which can take like two or three hours, but it’s worth it. Just stay on top of it. 

Practice Minimalism — The above task is so much easier when you start with minimalism. Get rid of the crap you don’t want or need, and believe me there’s a lot of it when you’re first starting off. From there make sure every single item in your home has it’s dedicated spot, which makes cleaning easier. This isn’t about living in an empty white box with no belongings. I still have quite a bit of stuff, but it all has a purpose. I don’t keep things just to keep things. I only have stuff I love or need. And I’m not perfect at it, no one is. Don’t be hard on yourself because it’s process and often times it’s more about the journey. And minimalism has carried over into so many other aspects of my life — how I choose to spend my time, who I have kept in my life (friend wise), what I spend my money on, etc. Having less and doing less has allowed me to accomplish so much more in my life. 

Meditate — It’s something that I’ve wanted to add to my daily routine for years, but was unsuccessful for the longest time. It wasn’t until I discovered the guided meditation app, Headspace, that I was able to do it daily. [Not a sponsored post, I just really love the app]. It worked out so well in those first, free 10 days that I went ahead and got the yearly subscription. Doing this in my morning routine is one of those things that really sets me up for a productive, focused day. I feel much more level headed and open minded after I have done this in the morning. For others it may fit better into another time in their day but it works best for me in the morning. My routine is very important to me, and controls how the rest of my day goes. If I wait until bedtime to meditate it almost holds no power over anything, and I often fall asleep during it. 

Journal — I have been doing it for seven years, ever since I studied abroad in Thailand. It’s like therapy to me. And it’s a great way to document experiences, trips, and your life in general. I am able to read the thoughts and emotions of 19-year old Victoria and it’s such a weird, cool experience. And it helps remind me how far I have come if I’ve ever having a bad day. I journal in a few ways. I have a journal that is a bit more sacred than the rest which important thoughts, events and experiences go into. It’s not a daily thing. Something I do do every morning is write in my morning pages journal. It’s always just a random old notebook (I got a stack of them from my mom’s house) and it’s just three pages of streaming conscious thoughts. It’s a way for me to clear out all of the gunk from the day before, and it really allows me to be more clear and focused throughout the day when I don’t have those random thoughts floating around. And the final way I journal, is with my camera — filming trips, adventures and events that I want to remember or share. 

Lifestyle [diet, activities, sleep] — I used to eat cupcakes for meals, for days at a time. You can probably imagine the effect that had on me. Now, I keep a vegan diet and try and pack as many nutritious, unprocessed foods as possible into it. I’m not perfect and I do allow some wiggle room for the occasional junk food or dessert, but I focus on keeping it clean. I only partake in activities that will benefit and enrich my life. I have no issue with saying no. I don’t go out an party on the weekends, I don’t go out to eat frequently, those sort of things. And finally I keep a regular sleep schedule because I know how much sleep impacts my days. Some people can function off of four hours, I need eight. All of these things effect my energy, my body, my focus, motivation, everything. You have to respect your body and your mind, and make sure you are taking care of it through your lifestyle. 

Practice Gratitude — It was something that Michael introduced to me. I think even on our first date he was like, Ok let’s take a few moments to breathe and reflect on the day and then we’ll take turns sharing what moment we’re grateful for. And we still do this every now and then, but I do it on my own too. I have two pages every month in my bullet journal dedicated to my sparkly bits and every night I take a few moments to reflect on the day and find that moment I am thankful for. Doing this regularly just makes you a more optimistic, happy rainbows and unicorns sort of person. You start noticing moments throughout your days, and you’re like Oh, that could be my moment today. I don’t know it’s just a really cool process. 

Stay curious [never stop learning] — This may sound silly, but it’s something I live by. I think of everything I have taught myself and learned since leaving school and it’s astounding. If you have a question, find yourself the answer. If there’s something you’re interested in, go get a book from the library, research it online, watch videos, read blog posts and watch documentaries. I’m always searching to better myself. Not because I don’t like who I am or that I’m not proud of where I’m at in life, but just because I know there is so much that I still don’t know. And along these lines, don’t be afraid to reach out to someone. Even if you think there’s absolutely no way they would ever respond back, take the plunge and write them. I have connected to so many amazing people this way. 

Allow yourself to slow down during your period — Discovering the difference between the menstrual phases, emotionally and physically was a game changer. It all finally made so much more sense. When you listen to your body it’s amazing how much smoother it all goes. When I allow myself to slow down during my period and really just take it easy I am greeted with a happier period, less irritability, cramps, PMS, fatigue, etc. And when I take that time during my period to just kind of hermit myself off from the world I am rewarded throughout the rest of my cycle with more energy. You can only push yourself so far for so long before you’re going to crash and burn. Take the time to slow down, reflect on the past month, and think about what you want to accomplish in the coming month. 

Make time for friends + things outside of “work” — Especially when you start working for yourself, allowing yourself to stop working is a lesson that needs to be learned right away. I could waste away day after day tinkering around with “work” related tasks that really don’t need to be done and have no real impact on it all. Each day I pick out the top five things that I need to do that day to succeed and I tick those off first thing after my morning routine. Then depending where I am at in the day I will head to my brain dump page and see what else I can accomplish, but if I have to stop after those five tasks I will feel satisfied with my day. I allow my afternoons, and sometimes early mornings for friends and family. Whether that’s meeting up for a coffee or drinks and a movie, I try to meet up with people at least once a week. Because if not I would stay in my apartment and never leave. 

Phew, that was quite a bit wasn’t it, but these are some of the most important things in my life that I swear by. What are yours? 

Making Monthly Resolutions With Your Built-in Life Coach

There’s a Nike ad that says “Don’t Make a Resolution, Make Yourself”. 

And I have to let you in on a little secret, I have never made a New Years Resolution. 

I don’t believe in them. I don't think they work. They just seem destined to fail. Well, go really well for a month or two, and then fail. 

I think you should be constantly striving to better yourself throughout the year, not just once a year. 

And this got me thinking. 

Most women have no idea that their menstrual cycle provides them with the perfect structure for monthly “resolutions”.

It’s true. 

I’ve talked about the four different phases before — menstrual, follicular, ovulatory and luteal. 

But if you are able to listen to your body, you already have a built in system for monthly reflection, goal setting, and execution. 

The book that inspired this thought — “The Optimized Woman”. 

So, during your period you’re best at doing some internal thinking and reflection, letting go and rethinking your goals. 

Next comes the follicular phase when you should set your goals for the month after reflecting on the previous month during your period. Then once you set a goal, really look into HOW you are going to achieve that goal. What are the tangible steps each day that you can take to help you succeed? You will be focused and able to have clear, concentrated thinking as well as more energy. 

After that is the ovulatory phase. I view this as the social phase. You’re going to be great at getting out there and making the connections and building the relationships that are going to help you achieve those goals. You are also going to be more productive and relatable, not to mention this is the most confident time of your cycle. 

The final phase before the cycle begins again is your luteal phase. You will feel more inspired, creative and able to problem solve issues that arise. Use this phase to brainstorm new ideas and solutions for the future and upcoming month. What did you struggle with during the month, and how can you solve that or fix it in the future? 

I have heard the menstrual cycle described as having your own built in life-coach. And who doesn’t want one of those? Hell, people pay big bucks for them, and do you know why? Because they’re worth it.

So, give your own personal coach a go, why don’t you.  

Hormonal Birth Control + Nutrition

We hear all of the time about the importance of nutrition. To make sure we are getting enough vitamins and minerals. To eat a diet of whole foods, i.e. fruits, vegetables, seeds, nuts, beans, legumes, etc.

But what if I were to tell you that your hormonal birth control could really be screwing with how well your body is able to absorb the nutrients? 

Because it does. 

It messes with our bodies ability to function at it’s best level of health. One way it does this is by creating vitamin deficiencies and keeps our body from properly absorbing key nutrients .

Below is a list of nutrients disturbed by hormonal birth control. Just take a moment to scroll through before continuing to read. 

— vitamin A

— vitamin B1

— vitamin B2

— vitamin B6

— vitamin B9

— vitamin B12

— vitamin C

— Biotin

— Bioflavonoids

— Vitamin E

— vitamin K

— Iron

— Calcium

— Magnesium

— Potassium

— Selenium

— Copper

— Zinc

— Prostaglandins

— Blood Lipids

— Serum Proteins 

Holy cow, right?

But if that isn’t enough to worry you, let’s take a minute to go through a few of those and what role they play. [I pulled all these facts from “The Pill” and “Sweetening The Pill”]

So, your B vitamins, folic acid, iron and magnesium are all vital for neurological and emotional health. 

When you have reduced vitamin B1 it can leave you feeling fatigued, weak, with insomnia, vague aches and pains, weight loss, depression, irritability, lack of initiative, constipation, oversensitivity to noise, loss of appetite or sugar cravings, and circulatory problems. And that’s only one vitamin.

When your vitamin B2 is lowered it can lead to gum and mouth infections, dizziness, depression, eye irritation, skin problems and dandruff. If you’ve ever listened to me talk about my experience you may have heard me mention how I got eight cavities in my first year on the pill. 

And the list goes on and on and on when it comes to hormonal birth control messing with your nutrients. If you’re still interested I urge you to go look up the roles these nutrients play in every aspect of your health and well-being, and then sit there and think about the fact that we’re screwing around with all of them. 

I heard it mentioned once that we view health as an outward appearance. “Oh, she looks really healthy.” But why are we trading that off for what’s going on inside of our body. It can only be a matter of time before this catches up with us. 

No matter how healthy and diligent you are with what you’re eating, it almost doesn’t matter because you aren unable to absorb it all when you’re on hormonal birth control. 

But food is a vital part of the process of healing when you make that decision to quit hormonal birth control. Remember that.  

Some Cold Weather Vegan Recipes

The weather is getting colder so I wanted to share some vegan recipes for the season. Enjoy!

Vegan Biscuits and Gravy

One thing that I find myself craving from my pre-vegan days is biscuits and gravy. And then found this recipe on The Southern Vegan. Yum. Obviously not an everyday breakfast recipe but gosh sometimes it’s nice to have some warm, comfort food. 

Buttermilk Biscuits

2 C flour

2 1/2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

1/3 C vegan butter

3/4 C cold dairy free milk

1 tsp vinegar

— Preheat oven 450

— Mix milk + vinegar. Put to side to curdle. 

— Put dry ingredients into bowl, mix in vegan butter with a fork.

— add milk/vinegar mixture + quickly stir until dough forms

— make dough into ball + refrigerate for 20 - 30 minutes

— roll dough to 1/2” thick + cut into circles

— put on ungreased cookie sheet and bake for 10 - 12 minutes. 

Sausage Gravy

1/2 C flour

4 C non-dairy milk

4 vegan sausage patties or links

1/2 C oil

1 tsp salt

1 tsp pepper

— Saute vegan sausage, until cooked and browned, crumble into smaller pieces + set to the side

— add oil, flour and black pepper to pan + stir over low heat until brown and creamy (mine formed into an almost dough)

— slowly add milk, stir until creamy and thicker + add in sausage  crumbles

— serve hot over biscuits

Vegan Chili

There are so many great variations on this but I love recipes that use squash as well.

1 onion

1 bell pepper

1 large sweet potato

butternut squash

4 cloves garlic

1 can black beans

1 can of pinto beans

1 can diced tomatoes

2 1/2 C vegetable broth

chili powder

cumin

paprika

cayenne pepper

salt

(I don’t measure the last five ingredients, I just put some in and taste it as I go, usually adding more and more)

— cut up all the vegetables first

— put your large pot over medium heat, saute onion and bell pepper for 6-7 minutes.

— add sweet potato, squash, and seasonings, for 3 minutes

— add garlic for 1 minute

— add broth and tomatoes

— add rinsed beans

— bring to boil, then cover, lower heat, simmer for 25 minutes, stirring occasionally

— add more seasoning if you want

— scoop into bowl and add any toppings you want (avocado is delicious if it’s in season)

Vegan Cookies

My mom makes the most delicious chocolate chip cookies, and I stole her recipe and made it vegan. 

Preheat oven to 350, grease cookie sheet.

2 sticks vegan butter

3/4 C white sugar

3/4 C brown sugar

— cream these together with whisk

2 vegan flax “eggs” 

tsp baking soda

tsp salt

1 1/2 tsp vanilla

mix two T of flax seed with 3 T of hot water, set to side for a minute until it becomes an “egg like” consistency. then mix all of this with butter/sugar mixture. 

3 c flour

1/2 C (or more) dark chocolate chips

slowly mix in flour 1/2 a cup at time, then add chocolate chips. 

Bake for 12 - 14 minutes each depending on how gooey or firm you want your cookies. 

The Wonderful World of Menstrual Activism

Today I’m going to share some examples of some of my favorite lady-hero menstrual activists. 

And then we’ll talk about how an everyday gal can find menstrual activism that works for them.

Jen Lewis — takes these incredible photographs of her menstrual blood being dumped into water. If this makes you cringe go check out “Beauty in Blood” 

Rupi Kaur — a poet and artist who posted that famous Instagram photo of a woman who is laying on her side, facing away from the camera, showing menstrual blood that had leaked through her pants and onto her sheets. 

Kiran Gandhi — ran the London marathon with no tampon, pad or cup, and just allowed herself to free bleed because why not! 

Ingrid Berton-Moine — artist who created “Red is the Colour” which is portraits of women wearing their own menstrual blood. http://www.ingridberthonmoine.com/work

Chella Quint — has created some pretty awesome vines called Adventures in Menstruating, which she now has made into a show I’d love to attend. 

Rachel Kauder Nalebuff — wrote "My Little Red Book", which compiles story after story of first periods around the world from current to years ago. 

The Moon Inside You — Diana Fabianova had unsatisfactory periods for a long time and struggled with feeling positive about them. So she went on a journey and brought us along with her with The Mood Inside You.

Miki Agrawal — While they create awesome period underwear I think another awesome thing they have done is to help break through period taboos, making periods more mainstream in a positive light. Their advertisements go beyond tampon and pad commercials which still tell us to be quiet and discreet with our period products. 

Now you don’t have to wear a new shade of red, write a book or run a marathon bleeding. If you want to, go do it then already! That’d be amazing. But here are a few ways that you can take part in the movement. 

+ Start talking positively about your period since we’ve been so conditioned to only complain about it. 

+ Have a conversation with a friend about your period (remember, be positive).

+ Try a menstrual cup or sponge, challenge the way you feel about interacting with your menstrual blood.

+ Ask your mother about her first period.

+ if you have a daughter teach her about her period in a empowering way, instead of the shame and secrecy most of us were taught. 

+ Start charting your cycle, educate yourself about it.

+ Go to a local showing of Vagina Monologues, or another show that talks about vaginas, being female, periods or something along those lines. 

There is a giant, amazing spectrum of menstrual activism to get involved in. Which do you want to try out? What other ideas do you have to share? Because what a life changing thing it is to be period positive.  

Don't Be Scared into Taking Hormonal Birth Control

It’s almost a right of passage to get on hormonal birth control these days. 

Not to mention it’s touted as a fix all cure for females.

Do you suffer from acne, irregular cycles, cramping, heavy periods, a fear of pregnancy — easy, just take the pill!

It’s handed over without any real warning of the possible negative side effects. Or I know it was for me, back in 2009. 

Now, I’m not telling everyone to go and throw out there hormonal birth control. But if you are fed up with the negative side effects, looking for a natural alternative, or curious about what else is out there — there are non-hormonal options that no one really talks about. 

And if you have recently come off HBC, or are ready to, but now find yourself seconding guessing your decision because of all this news about how every woman in America should go out and get an IUD — screw that. 

I understand that this is coming from a place of concern for women’s reproductive rights starting in 2017, but I don’t think it’s fair women are being scared into something that might not be right for them.

Now, if you are a lady who is on hormonal birth control and has no desire to change that any time soon, then sure, go out and get that IUD. You do you, boo. 

But if you don’t fall into that category, listen here.

There is an incredible community of women across the country and around the world who are supporting one another through love, understanding and knowledge. 

I am part of that community, and if you’re reading this you’re also a part of that community. 

I am here to support you, to share everything I know with you so you can make the best decision for yourself.

My goal is informed choices. I think the choices should be available to every woman, but that the necessary information should also be available so women can make informed decisions. These two things need to go hand in hand. 

If you want to start (or keep) using FAM as your birth control method of choice, I am here to support you with that decision. It has been an empowering choice I have lived with for over three years.

And once I got past those first few weeks of initial fear and wondering if I had made the right decision quitting the pill, I have never looked back.

It is such a freeing thing to be in control of your own fertility, and to basically put your middle finger up to those trying to take away women’s rights.

This is the time to come together as a community, to support and love one another with the decision we want to make. 

If you find yourself in this position of being scared about your fertility options going forward I am here for you. 

I invite you to email me, head to my contact page to send me a message, or comment on this post, and I will do my best to keep up with your messages.

I may not have all the answers, but I promise I can help instill a bit more confidence in yourself. And love — I’ve got plenty of that for you. 

Abnormal Pap Smear | A Year Later

Last year was my first annual exam that I had had in three years. Yes, I know, that was bad of me, but for whatever reason I quit the pill and then just kind of forgot about them. 

But, last year I went in and had to get a pap smear along with my other exams because here in the U.S. you are supposed to get a pap smear every three years. 

Well, a week or so later I got a call from a very sweet lady letting me know that my pap smear had come back abnormal. 

Automatically, CANCER popped into my mind, but I calmed myself and asked her what that meant. Turns out finding abnormal cells on your cervix is more common than most people know. I was told that I would have to get a pap smear at my following two annual exams to keep an eye on my cervical cells, but that was about it. 

After getting off the phone with her I burst into tears because it was just a really weird, somewhat scary experience. But it wasn’t long after that I decided I needed to make a video to share that experience with others. 

I had made a vlog of my annual exam, and so I made a follow up video talking about the fact that my pap had came back abnormal. I got a lot of warm wishes and me too’s. 

And then I just sort of pushed it to the back of my mind because I had a whole year to kill that I really didn’t want to spend worrying about it. 

October rolled around and somewhere in there I started thinking about my upcoming exam (in November) and worrying about it. 

I made another little vlog this month to share my emotions and thoughts going into and coming out of the appointment. I was basically told that if there was something I would get another phone call in 7-10 days, if it was something that needed to be addressed quickly I would probably get a call in 3-4 days. Well, today marks two weeks since my appointment, and I was told that no news was good news. I still haven’t called in to confirm that my pap came back normal this year, but I’m feeling very relieved. 

It was a scary experience, but it has been a worthwhile one at the same time. And through sharing it online I was able to help calm other ladies going through the same thing, as well as be calmed by other women. 

Just another example of why it is important to share your stories ladies! 

I Can't Imagine Giving Up My Period

There is a lot of talk about getting rid of your period, whether that’s taking a certain form of birth control or skipping the placebo/“fake period" week of the form you are taking.

And I get why there are so many women out there that want to make it go away. But today I wanted to share why I can’t imagine giving up my period, and not having it anymore. 

You see, I used to hate my period just as much as the next girl. 

Before I had it, I wanted it to come. I begged it to come, worrying that I was some infertile freak who was different from her friends. 

But it wasn’t long after I finally got it (hooray!) that I was quickly sucked into the culture of hating it, complaining about it, and thinking it was oh so unfair that I had to deal with this thing every month and boys didn’t. 

It wasn’t until I quit the pill, started learning about, and practicing FAM, and finally got my real cycle back that I started to, dare I say, fall in love with my period. 

So, here are 10 reasons why I can’t imagine giving it up:

+ My period is such a good indicator of my health — mental and physical. Seriously, your period and menstrual cycle is like a canary in a goldmine. 

+ My period reminds me to take some time each month to slow down and reflect, which is much needed in today's culture of go go go.

+ It connects me to the greater female population. As soon as I say I’m in the business of talking about periods, women will shuffle up to me to ask about anything from menstrual cups to sharing their birth control experience. 

+ I wouldn’t get to try out fun period products. Cups, sponges, reusable pads, period underwear, fertility computers. Whoosh, out the window! No more of those. 

+ My cycle gives me a boost of motivation, energy and "social-ness” around ovulation. Seriously, I feel like a superhero that can take on the world. 

+ I wouldn’t be as creative or as inspired. I know because I used to be there. It was called college, and there I was scraping along doing just above the bare minimum, lost in a world of wondering what to do with my life. 

+ FemmeHead, which is a huge part of my life, wouldn’t be a thing. What would I do with my days?!

+ I wouldn’t have been able to heal my body image issues if I hadn’t gotten my real period back. Because I didn't let myself realize I had them in the first place. 

+ There would be no more mittelschmerz! One of my favorite words, and how excited I imagine pregnant women feel with their baby kicks (probably not quite that excited, but I do get a real rush of “cool!” when it happens). 

+ I feel bad for guys because they don’t get to experience the different phases of a cycle, and they can’t grow a tiny human from scratch inside of them. And without my period and my cycle, I wouldn’t get to either. 

In the end, we all have our reasons for loving or hating our periods. But today I challenge you to start taking a different perspective on your cycle. Especially if you’ve been brought up in a culture, like me, where there is so much embarrassment and anger surrounding our periods. 

Why I Could Get Down With a Modern Day Red Tent

It was probably a year ago that I read The Red Tent, and if you haven’t read this book, just go do it already. In fact, I kind of want to reread it. 

If you go searching for information about menstrual huts you often find stories about oppressive cultures and their traditions, but I like to look towards Native American moon lodges for inspiration. 

There is this incredible respect for menstruating women in most Native American cultures, and amazing respect for women in general. 

Some believe that women are purifying themselves during this time, not dirty and impure as many believe, and that women are the embodiment of a holy person during their period.

Women are believed to be more spiritually powerful and in tune during their period, and often consulted by others for advice.

Moon time is a time for women to come together in these special lodges, a time to be able to let go of their responsibilities, to come together with other bleeding women, share stories, gossip and give advice, to support one another, and to rest.

There is a legend I have seen a few times about why women menstruate. 

A long time ago, women were considered powerful in that they held in a lot of their family emotions, their joy and happiness but also their sadness and sorrow. They were the life-force of the family. However, sometimes that would become exhausting. 

So one day, the woman went to nature to try to find help and yelled out because the burden was too much. A Raven heard her and went to see her, asking her why she was crying. The woman stated she was overwhelmed with the burdens of her family. She loved her family but no longer could take everything in anymore. Raven said that he understood her pain and went to ask Grandmother Ocean for help. Grandmother Ocean offered to wash away the pain of the women who would come to her but that she could not help those farther away. So she went to ask for help from her sister, Grandmother Moon.

So Grandmother Moon said that she represented the feminine power and would send the waters of Grandmother Ocean into the women so her power would reach them. Once every moon cycle, Grandmother Ocean shall come into the women and purify them. And she did just that. Every month, there is thus a time when the women embody the power of Grandmother Moon and are cleansed by the waters of Grandmother Ocean.

Imagine being able to step away from life’s responsibilities for even a day to give your body, mind and soul what it needs?

There’s nothing I like more than getting together with other women and talking about menstrual related things, so a red tent is basically my dream scenario. 

Would you ever go to a red tent? Or have you ever?