Stop Counting Calories | A Better Use of Food Journaling

I have tried to count calories on maybe two separate occasions, and both times I failed at whatever restrictive goal I had set for myself. 

I don’t know about you but I finally realized that counting calories just isn’t something I’m interested in. When I hear about people tracking what they eat, the majority seems to be using it to keep track of the caloric aspect of food. 

But today I wanted to share an alternative benefit I have found from tracking what you eat, and it has nothing to do with losing weight or restricting yourself. 

The first time I discovered the power of tracking what I ate was back in 2012. I had suffered from never ending stomach pain that I just sort of wrote off as normal for the longest time. I was uncomfortable, groggy, and constipated. 

But it finally clicked, pain and discomfort should not be the norm. Not to mention that I thought one bowel movement a week was perfectly normal. 

I decided to track what I ate for a week, and how I felt after that meal. A pretty simple task. I knew it must be something I was eating that was causing me so much pain, but I couldn’t figure it out before recording my meals. 

So I would write down what I ate, the ingredients involved, and then how I felt after. Was there pain, discomfort, bloating, and when was I going to the bathroom. Things like that. 

From this I discovered that meat, especially red meat was a big trigger for the stomach pain. I was a pretty typical Iowa girl. I love potatoes and bread, but I decided what’s the harm in giving up meat for a week just to see if anything happened? 

And if you’ve heard any of my story before you know the answer. I felt so so much better after that week. But just to make sure, I decided to eat meat once more to see if I could tell a difference. And I could. The stomach pain, bloating, etc. returned quickly after eating that meal containing meat. 

I thought, ok what’s the big deal with giving up meat. I can do that. So I started in on my vegetarian journey in October 2012. I felt so much better after that switch that in the following April I decided to go 100% vegan as well as cut out gluten. And that summer was a definite peak in life on how I felt. I had no more stomach pain, bloating, I lost 5 - 10 pounds, and started having daily bowel movements, which I’ve learned is the norm.

I have done it on a smaller scale since then. Sometimes while traveling abroad I will experience some digestive issues. By tracking what I am consuming, and how I feel after I am able to see what foods I need to cut out while my stomach heals itself. 

Another time I’ve done it is when I started breaking out again this past summer through this winter. I started paying attention, and discovered the culprit, sugar. Because of this I challenged myself to take a month long break from added refined sugar, and have been pleasantly pleased with the results. No longer is my forehead broken out. Yes, I still get the occasional pimple or two around ovulation, but that cluster of ever lingering acne on my forehead is almost gone. I have also noticed renewed energy as well as less of an afternoon fog, and sudden drops in energy throughout the day. 

What in your life is currently ailing you? Is there a chance it could be related to your diet or fixed by food? Start tracking your meals, not restricting anything, but just noting how you feel after each meal. What are your food triggers? Maybe you don’t have any, but maybe you do. 

Keeping a food journal is a great first step into starting to pay attention to what you put in your body, next you can start noticing environmental factors. Quality of sleep, daily activities, exercise, relationships, work, etc. 

Feel free to share anything you’ve noticed through food journaling.  

Creating Routine In a New Place | Working In Bali

Everyone craves the lifestyle of the freedom to work from anywhere. I’ve traveled and work plenty of times before, but coming to Bali with the sole purpose of transplanting myself to a warmer climate and continue working was a bit of a challenge at first. 

I’m sure it all depends on who you’re traveling with, and where you’re going, but I really struggled during the first week with creating a new routine here. 

I had a pretty rock solid schedule back home. But I realized that I couldn’t keep up with the exact one I had in Iowa, obviously, and therefore needed to create a new one while I’m here. 

At first when it was just four of us, I found it hard to say no to activities and adventure to stay back and work. Because of this I found myself maybe working an hour at first each day. 

I’m sure if you were surrounded by a group of other online entreprenuers it would be a different story. But everyone I’m traveling with is in their “off season” of work so they don’t have to do anything work related while they’re here. Because of this they are much more in vacation mode than I want to be. Which is fine. We don’t always have to be doing the same thing as the person next to us. 

I just needed to learn to say no. It was a good lesson for me. And a good challenge to find the balance between work and fun. 

My first breakthrough came when the group wanted to go to Monkey Forest in Ubud, and I had zero interest in that activity. So, I looked up a cool little spot, Clear Cafe, mopeded my way over there, and fell in love. The atmosphere, the food, the juice, the coffee, the music….everything was perfect. I was finally able to sit for more than an hour and really focus on work without distractions. 

I only made it to Clear Cafe once more, but I’m really finding my groove now that we’re on the North coast. 

The pace is much slower up here. The setting is serene and calm — perfect for sitting down and pounding out some work. 

The first day here I decided to start my day with a cup of coffee on our balcony, my stack of journals and plenty of inspiration to surround myself with.

I sat there and wrote my morning pages, in my two other journals, and planned out my day in my bullet journal. I then continued to work until around 3:30 p.m. and do you know what? It felt great. 

I missed out on a pretty awesome looking waterfall, but everyone in our group is eager to get back again so I might get my chance to do some cliff jumping still! 

Today, was much the same. I started my day out on the balcony and realized that my simple habit of journaling in the morning really set me up to feel much better about my days. We went to the only Buddhist Temple in Bali, came back, jumped in the pool, started working, got a massage, continued working, and I’m feeling great about the pace of the days here. 

So, if you’re flailing a bit, outside of your normal routine, first you need to take a step back. Everything is going to be ok. The world is going to continue to spin. Realize that you may not be able to keep up with everything you were doing at home. Take the time to really look at those habits you miss and know make a difference in your day. Where can you fit those into your new schedule? Mornings work best for me. And learn to say no to activities you don’t want to do, even if the rest of the group is participating. 

While I don’t plan to be a digital nomad with FemmeHead, I do desire the ability to continue working while traveling at the same time, because if I can continue to master this skill I can say yes to spur of the moment trips. For example, Michael has a race in California right when we get back. Because I have the freedom to work from anywhere, not to mention the fact he has companion pass on Southwest, I was able to say, “Mind if I come with?” and now I get to skip out on Iowa’s winter for a few more days. 

Share your tips for working while traveling, creating a new routine and finding time for your favorite habits. 

What My Life In Bali Consists Of

It’s incredible what thrusting yourself outside your normal routine can do for you. So, much so that I think I’m going to start routinely spicing it up a bit. 

Our first stop in Bali was the coveted Ubud. It was where we spent most of our time here last year, saving our trip from the disappointed taste in our mouth from the south. 

There wasn’t much work to be done in Ubud, at first, but this was because there was so much to do, so many adventures and fun to be had. 

A typical day in Ubud, went a little like this:

+ wake up

+ yoga 

+ breakfast 

+ go on an adventure

+ eat lunch (Ubud has so many delicious offerings in this department)

+ hang out, swim, work, go on another adventure

+ dinner

+ bed

After eight nights in Ubud, we ventured North, to the coast, finding ourself in a calm villa just west of Lovina. 

I thought life in Ubud was slow paced, but boy was I pleasantly shocked with how chill the north coast was. Here is where I started to find my groove, establishing a routine finally. And getting so much inspired work done.

Our days up on the North coast looked a lot like this:

+ wake up and make a cup of coffee

+ go out to our balcony to write in my journals 

+ start my work for the day

+ eat breakfast

+ either work more or go on an adventure

+ eat lunch

+ swim, play ping pong, continue working

+ eat dinner

+ watch a movie, play more ping pong

+ go to bed

I loved having plenty of comfortable spots around our villa to sit and work, not to mention just being able to take a quick break from work by jumping into the pool.

From there we drove almost three hours east, to Amed. 

We only spent a two full days in Amed, but we had a lot of fun in the ocean while we were there, which was an nice change from the pools, not that I have anything against pools, we had a pretty awesome one at the house we were staying at. 

Amed went like this:

+ wake up

+ head out to the front deck and watch the fishermen come in

+ journal 

+ eat breakfast

+ go scuba diving or snorkeling for a few hours

+ find some lunch

+ head home

+ take a dip in the pool and work for the afternoon

+ dinner

+ bed

After our time in Amed we headed back to Ubud, bringing the trip full circle. It felt so good to come back to a familiar place, to recognize the streets, to go back to our favorite spots here again while discovering new places at the same time. 

And that’s where I’m at right now. There’s three days left and it’s much of the same schedule, except for we’ve found that delicious balance between work and play. 

I am pleasantly surprised with some of the "lessons" that have come out of this trip and I’ll be writing about those soon enough. 

Bali, you have my heart. I’m already thinking about when I come back to you next time. 

Free Bleeding | It's Whatever You Want it to Be

Simply put, free bleeding is viewed as one of a few things. From training your cervix to hold in your menstrual blood, much like your bladder, until you can go and empty it (Is this really possible!?) Others believe it means just not using anything to absorb/collect your menstrual flow. And some think it simply means not using a tampon, cup, sponge or anything else inserted into your vagina to collect your flow, but that using period underwear or cloth pads still falls within the realm of "free bleeding". 

I hadn’t really thought much about the term, nor heard much until I began looking into it myself. 

Not using any sort of menstrual product has been around longer than you or me has existed, and long before any sanitary products hit the shelves. And there are millions of women “free bleeding” today. Why?

Let’s think about it for a second. Something that some clown somewhere passed off as some hyper-feminist disgusting bullshit is something that millions of women deal with every single month because they don’t have access to feminine hygiene products. Girls stop going to school for that week every month because they don’t have anything to “manage” their periods and being that managing is a “must” in so many cultures they are left to fall behind in school and in life, one period at a time. 

Other women, with access to products, do it because it’s more comfortable for them. 

I like looking at “free-bleeding” as a mindset. You can use whatever products feel most comfortable for you, but do it in a way where you’re allowing your body to bleed. You don’t feel guilty or ashamed. If you leak it’s no big deal. Take blogger, Kelly Jo’s word on it:

"More of a mindset than it is an action, the idea is...letting ourselves bleed. No judgement, no worries about messiness or cleanliness. Just letting it happen...This might look different for different menstruators. We are always, technically, “letting” ourselves bleed...But how often do we take a second, or a few, or a whole menstrual cycle, to mentally let our body do it’s thing. And appreciate it for what it does"

By discovering period underwear I was able to free-bleed in a sense on my lighter days, and not worrying about having to go and empty my cup was a freeing thing. 

"The fact that I happened to be bleeding didn’t interfere with anything that I did; if anything, it felt great not having a foreign object inside my body to staunch the bleeding, plus my cramps were significantly lighter."

     — Kayla Goggin, blogger, XOJane article

There is quite an adjustment to sensation when using only reusable pads or period underwear, or nothing at all. So many of us have grown so accustomed to no sensation at all, other than that telling you it was time to change, before you leaked everywhere. 

It didn’t take me long after getting my period for the first time to muster up the courage to learn how to use a tampon because I just really disliked disposable pads. They were bulky, uncomfortable and felt entirely untrustable. So, a few months into my menstrual journey I learned how to put in a tampon, and I continued to do that from the age of 15 to the age of 24. Then I discovered menstrual cups, which were a game changer, and my preferred method of product still to this day. But not too long into my cup journey I also discovered period underwear. I had tried reusable pads but they didn’t feel secure enough, but these underwear felt like they had my back. 

But then something awesome happened. I stopped using my cups as often. Don’t get me wrong, I love them oh so much more than tampons. But I discovered that I could just get by with the period underwear for my light days, and even my medium light days. There is really only a day or two that I need my cup. 

"But gushing blood into my underwear felt like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute.” — Lane Moore, Cosmopolitan article

That quote puts it perfectly. What an odd, terrifying, “oh crap, oh crap, oh crap” moment it is when you feel a sizable amount release into whatever barrier lay in your underwear. 

I had to learn to trust my period underwear, and to relearn the sensation of when they were full rather than clenching anytime I felt blood flow out of me. 

I guess I had never really heard about women free bleeding before looking into it myself. Beyond women not having access to products of course. But the more I looked into it the more I discovered people’s outrage and disgust with it. Which I find bit funny, obviously. Every story I read about a personal account of free bleeding seemed to be contained to their own home, or where they would just use dark underwear on their light days. Or women using cloth pads and period underwear. And I can’t help but thinking, what’s the problem with that? 

“No Uterus, No Opinion”  

I Started Saying "I Love You" to My Acne

Crazy I know, but one day I just started doing it. 

As I would go through my skincare routine every morning, and evening, I began to say "I love you, and you, and I especially love you" (to the bigger pimples) as I rubbed my cleanser, serums, lotions and whatever other elixirs I felt like that day. 

I’m not quite sure why I started or what exactly made me do it. But doing it made me feel better about my breakouts. It honestly did. 

And it reminded me of something I used to do years ago, where I would name the really big pimples. I would then go around introducing him to my friends, and other weird stuff like that. By making it into a little bit of a joke, it was easier than trying to hide it and hate it every time I looked in a mirror. 

Now, I don’t believe that by me saying “I Love You” is healing my acne, but it did create a significant shift in my perspective towards my zits. I stopped picking at my skin when I started thinking more fondly of it. And I started taking better care of it, taking more time each day. 

And it made me want to do things nice things like drink more water and eat better food to nourish my body and my skin. 

Google “power of positive words experiment” and you’ll see science fair like set ups where someone takes the same food (an apple cut in half, or rice scooped from the same pot), keep them in two separate containers, and each day these people say sweet, nice things to one, and hateful, mean things to the other.

Guess which one started decaying and molding faster? Yup, the one that was spewed all the negativity, and hate. 

I believe in the power of energy because it changes how you act towards something. And what you put out into the world is what you receive (not always of course). 

It’s very similar to changing your perspective towards your menstrual cycle. If you can start looking at it in a positive, loving way, you’ll begin to learn how to coexist with your own unique cycle. 

So I challenge you to start looking into not only your mirror, but to you life in general with love and understanding. Say kind, loving words to yourself. Hell, set up your own apple experiment if you’d like. And I guarantee you’ll be surprisingly pleased with the results.  

A Must Read For All Ladies | "Pussy"

I had seen this book floating around the internet for a bit, knowing that I would eventually need to buy it for myself. 

There are plenty of books I will check out from the library, read once, enjoy, but never pick up again. But this was one of those books that I knew I would need to mark up, and go back to time and time again. 

I easily convinced my friend that we should read this in our two-person book club  (it’s since grown to a three-person book club). We split it up into sections, and dug in. 

The first two chapters were an adjustment period for me, getting acquainted with her language, and trying to decipher what this book was about. But seriously, people would ask what it was about and I couldn’t explain it to them. 

I found myself really, really getting into it starting at chapter three. But I don’t want to give any of it away, because you HAVE to go read this yourself. Seriously, go get it now. I just passed my copy along to my mother to borrow while I’m away, because I want her to read it. 

Without spoiling the book for you I want to share my biggest take aways. And they were pretty big for me. 

The first thing I realized was that I need to start taking better care of myself. Yes, I’ve gotten really good at doing things consistently like journaling and meditation. But I needed to start pampering myself. 

Who knows why, but I used to view “pampering” yourself as girly, unnecessary, and frivolous. And I’ve been going through this whole process over the past few years of rejecting everything that falls under the female stereotype in this way of trying to discover myself. I like to take it to the extreme sometimes. 

For example, I’ve gone through [separate] periods where I've stopped brushing my hair (letting it start to dread), wearing makeup, shaving, getting dressed up. Things like that. It has been this process that I guess I needed to go through to find my own middle ground. 

But I also came to this realization that I needed to stop rushing through the pampering parts of my days that already existed, like skincare, bathing, etc. And golly has that been fun. I’ve started taking more baths, and just letting myself sink in and enjoy it. I’ll usually bring some fruit and a giant glass of water with me.

I’ve also allowed myself more time to go through my skincare routine in the morning and at night. Instead of rushing through getting it all of my face, I’ve slowed down to enjoy the process. I let each product sink into my skin before moving on to applying the next. I’ll give myself a little face and neck massage. I’ve started putting lotion on my whole body (it’s winter, my skin is thirsty!). 

And I’ve started to dip my toes into the wonderful world of Korean skincare, but that’s another post in itself. 

I’ll even spray a little hair oil in before heading to bed, and it’s these little touches that just make me feel so much better. And it only takes a few extra minutes each day. 

I’ve also started taking more time to prepare my food, laying it out in a visually appealing way on the plate or in the bowl, and something about that makes eating feel so much more special — luxurious almost. 

I’m a pretty tidy person, but she talks about this whole idea of preparing your house, food, evening, etc. like there’s a really important person coming over. But the kick is that special person is you. 

It has been a fun little process retraining my mind to not feel guilty about pampering myself or having nice things. 

But probably the biggest realization this book provided me with was that I have this real disconnect from my sexuality/libido. I know, it’s a crazy thought that someone who is so connected to my body on the functional side (my cycle) as well as the “spiritual” side of it can be disconnected from the sexual side of it. 

I’ve known for a few months that I’ve wanted to dig deeper into the topic of libido, but this book made the need for that even more apparent. And it has also gotten me very excited at the same time.

This book was much needed without even knowing it. It’s already sparked big changes in my life and I’m looking forward to seeing how it influences me going forward from here. 

I always love hearing of the books that have an impact on people, past, “That was a good book.” So, I always try to share mine, and listen to what others share as well.  

Winter Blues + Learning to Handle Them

I don’t know about you but I STRUGGLE in the winter. Me and cold just do not mix well. 

Firstly, it destroys my skin…and my hair and nails. And these gloomy, gray, overcast days really do put a damper in my mood. 

There’s a name for that — Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD (how fitting). It’s a type of depression that comes and goes with the cold:

+ Irritability

+ Feeling tired, sluggish

+ Difficulty getting along

+ Really touchy to criticism or rejection

+ Arms or legs feel heavy

+ Sleeping longer than normal

+ A change in appetite, such as craving more carbs

+ weight gain

For me I see it as if the seasons were like the four phases of your cycle. Winter would be our period (obviously), Spring would be our follicular phase, summer would be our ovulatory phase, and fall would be the luteal phase. 

How have I chosen to deal with it this year? I set myself some winter goals:

+ eating a diet of whole foods, cutting out the refined sugar and the processed junk. 

+ moving my body at least 20 minutes a day (sometimes you just need a little midday dance party) 

+ getting out of the house and spending time with friends and family

+ finding the sun when it is out (seriously, find it, close your eyes, take a deep breath and soak it in, savor it when it does come out) 

+ don’t sit in the dark (turn a light on! I’ll catch myself sitting in the dark after the sun has gone down and if I don’t turn on a light I’m ready for bed by 5:30)

+ take a few extra minutes with skincare first thing in the morning and before going to bed (rub in that moisturizer and give yourself a mini massage)

+ meditating (elevates my mood and helps me process)

+ journaling (I don’t have a therapist, I have journals)

Like with my period I don’t view winter as something that needs to be fought. I used to protest winter by not owning a winter coat. And who was that hurting? Yup, only me. 

How have you learned to coexist with winter? 

Other's Accomplishments Aren't Your Failures

Ahh, social media. What a great way to connect with others and discover new things. But unfortunately it often ends up being a platform to judge ourselves from. 

I have caught myself plenty of times feeling jealous of other’s accomplishments. But I always catch these feelings straight away, and force myself to step back and realize that I am actually happy for that person.

First you have to realize that you have no idea how much effort and work went into their accomplishment. And just because someone has had a very successful registration or a huge uptick in followers doesn’t mean that you are negatively effected by that or that it means you’re failing.

This comparison game goes way way way back, further than I care to dig. Think back to sports and GPA’s in high school, internships in college, promotions, magazine articles, whatever it may be as adults.

I’m here to tell you to do you. You are your own person, on your own journey. And we all know we should not be comparing ourselves to what we see on other’s Facebook or Instagram. Because that’s not the full picture. Even if they tell you the good news to your face, you don’t know the background story. 

I remember going out to eat with my girlfriends last year, and listening to two of them talk about preparing for yearly reviews and prepping to ask for raises. And I’m over there hitting my hummus, thinking to myself, “Ugh they’re so much further along in this whole adult thing that I am. What am I doing?” And I found myself comparing where I was at with my work life to where they were in theirs. 

And you can’t do that. It’s comparing apples to oranges my friend. When I thought about it further later on I realized, “Hey girl, you don’t even want to be a part of that world, where you have to worry about yearly reviews and asking for a promotion or a raise.” 

I made a very clear decision after college to not venture down that path. So, why am I sitting over here comparing myself to it?

We have to realize that we’re all just creating our empires in our own, unique way. Even those in the same field of work as you don’t always have the same desires in life that you do.  

Look to others for motivation and inspiration. But only compare yourself to where you have been. It’s the only way to do it. 

Dig out that old journal from two years ago, and I guarantee you’ll get a little self-esteem boost. Because sometimes we forget how far we’ve come, and all we need is a little reminder to give ourselves a pat on the back. 

How do you stop yourself from this tired, old comparison game? 

My Zero Waste Update | Over a Year Later

I first started my transition to a more zero waste lifestyle over a year ago. 

And I’m still in the transition phase, with zero hard feelings against myself. 

No, I’m not perfect. No, I’m not 100% zero waste. But that’s OK. I’m working to educate myself, and to be aware. We go for so long without giving a second thought to our trash. 

I have overall become a more conscious consumer. I put A LOT of thought into what I purchase. I have a wish list for items I want to buy (clothes, electronics, etc.) 

But I wanted to share my biggest changes with you today.

I used DIY t-shirt tote bags instead of plastic grocery bags. They’re easy to make. You just cut off the sleeves and collar of the shirt, then cut 3”-4” vertical slits up the bottom of the shirt to tie together creating the bottom of the bag. Here’s a tutorial. 

I take my recycling seriously. We used to just use an old small (like tiny) trash can under our sink for our recycling, but I needed more space. I asked for one of those old green recycling tubs as a wedding gift. Recycling really impacted how much I was throwing away. 

But the biggest  thing I’ve taken out of my trash — food scraps. [Go watch my “How I Compost” video]. I collect my scraps in a bowl in the freezer, when that gets full it goes into an old kitty litter tub in the hall closet, and when that gets full it goes to my parents house to be put in their compost pile. 

I have found ways to reuse all sorts of things. Bread ties are now cord and headphone holders. I made my own wrapping paper this year. I got compostable items for our wedding. Things like that. 

I’ve switched a lot of household products from coming in plastic containers to cardboard, such as dish and laundry detergent.

It also influenced what I asked for our wedding. Instead of asking for items made out of plastic I asked for things that were made from ceramics, metal, wood and glass. And I planned my wedding trying to create as little waste as possible. 

I’ve also started unsubscribing from physical junk mail, which is such a pain in the butt. I wish there was just an “unsubscribe” button on the back of the magazine or catalog. Instead you have to dig into their FAQ’s on their site or find an email address to write to asking them to stop. 

I find that seeking a more zero waste lifestyle nicely coexists with minimalism and veganism. And I like this little world I’ve created and am able to share with you. My take away from the last year, and what I wanted to share with you is that you can start the switch to creating less waste. Don't let thinking you won't be perfect at it stop you. 

What have been your biggest zero waste swaps, or realizations? 

My Period This Month Was Awesome

Another polite period in the books!

I have really been enjoying my periods these past few years. And that’s saying something considering how far I’m come. I used to have 9 day, heavy, painful, emotional periods. 

This month she came in without any mess or fuss. No spotting, minimal cramping, and no irritability. 

I made it through the week with almost no leaking, minus a little mishap with my pajama bottoms. I wore my cup and period underwear for about three days, and just the period underwear for the rest. All in all it probably lasted 5 days with one light-medium day, two days of light flow, and two days of very light flow/spotting. 

As usual, I allowed myself to sleep in while I was bleeding. My body always quietly begs me to let her sleep just a little longer. And I’ve gotten so much better over the past few years to listening, and allowing myself to, without the guilt. 

This month I had much more energy than normal on my period. And I felt so much more social than usual, which I took advantage of but didn’t abuse. 

I felt very reflective and creative. I made the most out of that and sat down and planned out my 2017 goals. I looked back at my 2016 goals and then I planned out my personal and professional goals for this year. 

One day I just had this burst of creativity so I grabbed some old magazines, a box our of the recycling bin, and I sat down and made a inspiration/mood/dream board. 

Overall, it was an awesome period. If you would have told me five years ago that I would one day love my periods, and be excited to get them, I would have told you that you were crazy. But here I am, loving every aspect of my cycle.  

"I'm a Fraud" Means You're Doing Something Right

fraud (noun)

- wrongful or criminal deception intended to result in financial or personal gain

- a person or thing intended to deceive others, typically by unjustifiably claiming or being credited with accomplishments or qualities. 

Imposter syndrome, imposter phenomenon or fraud syndrome is when high-achieving individuals are unable to accept or internalize their accomplishments and have this persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. 

It’s like we can’t accept that we’re good at something, or that we know more about something than the general public, and the biggest fear of it comes from this idea of being “found out” and that someone out there is going to see you for the fraud you are and expose you, ruining your reputation.  

Even just writing about this is giving me that same feeling of anxiety. It’s like somehow just writing about this is going to expose me. How ridiculous is that? 

I feel it most right before I’m going to put out a big project, or start a coaching session with a new client. Both of which I’ve been doing quite a bit of lately.

And what have I found to help? To mostly ignore it, to repeat over and over to myself, you are not a fraud, you are not a fraud, you are not a fraud. 

I distinctly remember feeling this as I ran down the side of a mountain in Poland with Michael. I was wearing a garbage bag as a rain jacket, my tennis shoes destroyed with mud, and I just said out loud, almost shouting, “I am a fraud! I do not belong here! What was I thinking hiking up the side of this mountain?"

But life is about putting ourselves into those situations where we feel like frauds. It’s how we grow. 

We have our comfort zone — that safe, cozy, warm little box full of all the things we know we’re good at and places we feel comfortable in. But the challenge, and the goal in life, is reaching for something that’s just outside that box, grabbing it, learning about it, accomplishing it, showing ourselves we can do it.  And our little box of comfort grows a bit bigger as we add that thing to it. But then you have to reach out again, and again for things that make you feel that discomfort, that fear. 

It’s a terrifying thought, but oh the feeling that comes along with succeeding? It feels so good. 

Here’s some thoughts I wanted to leave you with:

+ know that this exists, and it is a byproduct of success

+ almost everyone experiences it, from average gals to mega celebrities

+ don’t discount compliments and positive feedback

+ accept the fact that you’re good at something

+ quit comparing yourself to those around you

+ accept that perfection does not exist

+ quit avoiding situations that you think you aren’t qualified for, go after them

+ deconstruct what recent success, big project, accomplishment spurred these feelings

What was a recent time that you felt like a "fraud", what spurred that feeling, and what did you do about it? 

My Body Wakes Me Up on My Period

It doesn’t always happen but it happens 99% of the time. 

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night because you had too much water, or whatever, to drink before bed? As toddlers we wet the bed every now and then as we were being potty trained, learning to recognize the signals our bodies were giving us to tell us that we needed to go to the bathroom. 

So, we wake up to go to the bathroom instead of wetting the bed, but have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and just knew that you were on the verge of leaking? (blood, I’m talking about period blood here)

Almost every month it happens, usually just one night, that heavy day of my period. 

I’ll just wake up on my own, and head on into the bathroom to empty out my cup, and it’s always super full, on the verge of leaking. And maybe it’s just me, but how freakin’ cool is that? 

And hey, there’s always that time every now and then when I don’t wake up, and leak out and all over my bed. It happens, but more often than not I wake up knowing I need to change. 

Another interesting occurrence is how I always start my period in the morning, first thing after I get out of bed and go to the bathroom. It’s always started like that. And even if I don’t look at the temperature on my thermometer before going I just “know” it’s going to come. I can feel it. 

I know I’m not alone in thinking these little quirks of having a period are absolutely fascinating. What is it about your period that interests you? I challenge you to take a moment to think about it, write it down or just say it out loud to no one in particular.  

Setting Yourself Up For Success

Today I want to talk about things I do that are part of the process of getting shit done and going places in my life. I look back to just a few years ago when I had no direction in life and how I started and spent my days then vs. how I do now, and it’s a pretty staggering difference.

So I wanted to share my top 10 tips for setting yourself up for success. 

Stay organized — this has been a game changer. I always kept a planner throughout school to keep track of my due dates, activities and work schedule, but just in the past year and really actually the past few months I’ve taken it to the next level. I am a visual person so I like writing it all down where I can have it laid out in front of me. I do that in a few ways. On my computer I use Evernote to house all of my notes for blog posts, videos etc. Everything you see online comes from Evernote. I have created different notebooks for my YouTube channel, my website and my different courses. From here it is all easily searchable and accessible in one place. The other powerhouse to my organization operation is my bullet journal, which is a recent upgrade from a standard planner. I have a simple monthly spread complete with my five goals for that month, my content calendar for FemmeHead, a financial page to make my five money goals for the month as well as track all of my money coming in and going out each day. I have a brain dump where I put all of my ideas, things that need to get done, etc. I have a gratitude page because I think finding your sparkly bits each day is important. And then from there I have weekly spreads were I have a little weekly overview calendar for work, events, etc. a place for my five goals of the week and then I go into Monday with my tasks, etc. Having this bullet journal has been a life changer. I have been so much more productive and focused, it’s incredible. 

Keep your home tidy — Take time every single day to do a quick tidy. For me that is 15-30 minutes each morning where I make my bed, and then put any dishes, clothes, etc away from the day before. My mind functions so much better when I know there isn’t clutter sitting around my house. Right now we are going through some of Michael’s storage so there’s stuff out in the living room that can’t go back quite yet because we’re sorting through it and I’m really trying to not focus on it. I also like to take one day a week and do a deeper clean including vacuuming, wiping things down and doing laundry which can take like two or three hours, but it’s worth it. Just stay on top of it. 

Practice Minimalism — The above task is so much easier when you start with minimalism. Get rid of the crap you don’t want or need, and believe me there’s a lot of it when you’re first starting off. From there make sure every single item in your home has it’s dedicated spot, which makes cleaning easier. This isn’t about living in an empty white box with no belongings. I still have quite a bit of stuff, but it all has a purpose. I don’t keep things just to keep things. I only have stuff I love or need. And I’m not perfect at it, no one is. Don’t be hard on yourself because it’s process and often times it’s more about the journey. And minimalism has carried over into so many other aspects of my life — how I choose to spend my time, who I have kept in my life (friend wise), what I spend my money on, etc. Having less and doing less has allowed me to accomplish so much more in my life. 

Meditate — It’s something that I’ve wanted to add to my daily routine for years, but was unsuccessful for the longest time. It wasn’t until I discovered the guided meditation app, Headspace, that I was able to do it daily. [Not a sponsored post, I just really love the app]. It worked out so well in those first, free 10 days that I went ahead and got the yearly subscription. Doing this in my morning routine is one of those things that really sets me up for a productive, focused day. I feel much more level headed and open minded after I have done this in the morning. For others it may fit better into another time in their day but it works best for me in the morning. My routine is very important to me, and controls how the rest of my day goes. If I wait until bedtime to meditate it almost holds no power over anything, and I often fall asleep during it. 

Journal — I have been doing it for seven years, ever since I studied abroad in Thailand. It’s like therapy to me. And it’s a great way to document experiences, trips, and your life in general. I am able to read the thoughts and emotions of 19-year old Victoria and it’s such a weird, cool experience. And it helps remind me how far I have come if I’ve ever having a bad day. I journal in a few ways. I have a journal that is a bit more sacred than the rest which important thoughts, events and experiences go into. It’s not a daily thing. Something I do do every morning is write in my morning pages journal. It’s always just a random old notebook (I got a stack of them from my mom’s house) and it’s just three pages of streaming conscious thoughts. It’s a way for me to clear out all of the gunk from the day before, and it really allows me to be more clear and focused throughout the day when I don’t have those random thoughts floating around. And the final way I journal, is with my camera — filming trips, adventures and events that I want to remember or share. 

Lifestyle [diet, activities, sleep] — I used to eat cupcakes for meals, for days at a time. You can probably imagine the effect that had on me. Now, I keep a vegan diet and try and pack as many nutritious, unprocessed foods as possible into it. I’m not perfect and I do allow some wiggle room for the occasional junk food or dessert, but I focus on keeping it clean. I only partake in activities that will benefit and enrich my life. I have no issue with saying no. I don’t go out an party on the weekends, I don’t go out to eat frequently, those sort of things. And finally I keep a regular sleep schedule because I know how much sleep impacts my days. Some people can function off of four hours, I need eight. All of these things effect my energy, my body, my focus, motivation, everything. You have to respect your body and your mind, and make sure you are taking care of it through your lifestyle. 

Practice Gratitude — It was something that Michael introduced to me. I think even on our first date he was like, Ok let’s take a few moments to breathe and reflect on the day and then we’ll take turns sharing what moment we’re grateful for. And we still do this every now and then, but I do it on my own too. I have two pages every month in my bullet journal dedicated to my sparkly bits and every night I take a few moments to reflect on the day and find that moment I am thankful for. Doing this regularly just makes you a more optimistic, happy rainbows and unicorns sort of person. You start noticing moments throughout your days, and you’re like Oh, that could be my moment today. I don’t know it’s just a really cool process. 

Stay curious [never stop learning] — This may sound silly, but it’s something I live by. I think of everything I have taught myself and learned since leaving school and it’s astounding. If you have a question, find yourself the answer. If there’s something you’re interested in, go get a book from the library, research it online, watch videos, read blog posts and watch documentaries. I’m always searching to better myself. Not because I don’t like who I am or that I’m not proud of where I’m at in life, but just because I know there is so much that I still don’t know. And along these lines, don’t be afraid to reach out to someone. Even if you think there’s absolutely no way they would ever respond back, take the plunge and write them. I have connected to so many amazing people this way. 

Allow yourself to slow down during your period — Discovering the difference between the menstrual phases, emotionally and physically was a game changer. It all finally made so much more sense. When you listen to your body it’s amazing how much smoother it all goes. When I allow myself to slow down during my period and really just take it easy I am greeted with a happier period, less irritability, cramps, PMS, fatigue, etc. And when I take that time during my period to just kind of hermit myself off from the world I am rewarded throughout the rest of my cycle with more energy. You can only push yourself so far for so long before you’re going to crash and burn. Take the time to slow down, reflect on the past month, and think about what you want to accomplish in the coming month. 

Make time for friends + things outside of “work” — Especially when you start working for yourself, allowing yourself to stop working is a lesson that needs to be learned right away. I could waste away day after day tinkering around with “work” related tasks that really don’t need to be done and have no real impact on it all. Each day I pick out the top five things that I need to do that day to succeed and I tick those off first thing after my morning routine. Then depending where I am at in the day I will head to my brain dump page and see what else I can accomplish, but if I have to stop after those five tasks I will feel satisfied with my day. I allow my afternoons, and sometimes early mornings for friends and family. Whether that’s meeting up for a coffee or drinks and a movie, I try to meet up with people at least once a week. Because if not I would stay in my apartment and never leave. 

Phew, that was quite a bit wasn’t it, but these are some of the most important things in my life that I swear by. What are yours? 

Making Monthly Resolutions With Your Built-in Life Coach

There’s a Nike ad that says “Don’t Make a Resolution, Make Yourself”. 

And I have to let you in on a little secret, I have never made a New Years Resolution. 

I don’t believe in them. I don't think they work. They just seem destined to fail. Well, go really well for a month or two, and then fail. 

I think you should be constantly striving to better yourself throughout the year, not just once a year. 

And this got me thinking. 

Most women have no idea that their menstrual cycle provides them with the perfect structure for monthly “resolutions”.

It’s true. 

I’ve talked about the four different phases before — menstrual, follicular, ovulatory and luteal. 

But if you are able to listen to your body, you already have a built in system for monthly reflection, goal setting, and execution. 

The book that inspired this thought — “The Optimized Woman”. 

So, during your period you’re best at doing some internal thinking and reflection, letting go and rethinking your goals. 

Next comes the follicular phase when you should set your goals for the month after reflecting on the previous month during your period. Then once you set a goal, really look into HOW you are going to achieve that goal. What are the tangible steps each day that you can take to help you succeed? You will be focused and able to have clear, concentrated thinking as well as more energy. 

After that is the ovulatory phase. I view this as the social phase. You’re going to be great at getting out there and making the connections and building the relationships that are going to help you achieve those goals. You are also going to be more productive and relatable, not to mention this is the most confident time of your cycle. 

The final phase before the cycle begins again is your luteal phase. You will feel more inspired, creative and able to problem solve issues that arise. Use this phase to brainstorm new ideas and solutions for the future and upcoming month. What did you struggle with during the month, and how can you solve that or fix it in the future? 

I have heard the menstrual cycle described as having your own built in life-coach. And who doesn’t want one of those? Hell, people pay big bucks for them, and do you know why? Because they’re worth it.

So, give your own personal coach a go, why don’t you.  

Cleaning | Clutter Drives Me Bonkers

It’s true. It drives me nuts. I can’t think clearly. I have a really hard time focusing, and I am about half as productive as normal when I can see things out of place, or know that something is messy. 

And this is nuts considering I was once the girl who couldn’t see her bedroom floor because there was a layer of clothing covering the tile. I would dig through my “faux” carpet to find outfits and things I had lost. 

But I have started to become a bit anal when it comes to things being clean. Like right now, I have the dishes and such still out from making myself some coffee, and I keep looking over at it. I know in the back of my head that our bed isn’t made and that there are dirty clothes sitting at the bottom of my closet (I’m waiting on my new laundry basket to come in the mail). 

I have discovered that my brain just functions SO MUCH better when things are neat and tidy around me. 

It’s like writing my morning pages. I pull all of the gunk out of my head and put it onto the paper. And something about this process tidies up my mind, which then prepares me to stay focused and on task during the day. 

I also have noticed that if I’m stressed or having an uncomfortable conversation I start tidying up. It’s like a nervous, soothing tick I’ve developed. 

But it’s crazy to me, because I used to be the most unorganized, cluttered person. 

By no means am I at the level of going on the show "Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners”, but this has just been a big flip flop on my end. And I know OCD is not a laughing/joking matter, I would never dream of diminishing what those with OCD go through. 

I guess part of me is starting to feel like my mother, which is always a weird thing to notice. 

And I’m not mad about any of this.

No, quite the contrary. Becoming a tidy, organized person has revolutionized how I think, how productive I am — focused, creative, etc. I’m actually quite thankful that I have made this small habit change because it has helped me immensely with how much I am able to accomplish in a day’s time. 

This fits into my daily/weekly routine a few different ways. Firstly, I have found that I like taking 15-20 minutes every morning to do a quick tidy, which includes making the bed, putting away any clothes, and cleaning up anything in the kitchen that I missed from the night before. I also really enjoy a weekly deeper clean where I vacuum, dust and wipe things down. 

How do you tidy? 

How I Started Meditating Regularly

I’ve cracked the code!

Well, I’ve cracked my own personal code to making meditation a daily practice. It’s something I’ve wanted to do consistently for years now, but could never make it a habit. 

I just couldn’t get into it. And do you know why? 

I was approaching it all the wrong way. 

Last month I shared a story after I had meditated for 10 days in a row. But I knew I wanted to write about it more after I had done it consistently for a longer period of time, and share some thoughts on it. 

These are things that have helped me, and just a disclaimer — they may help you, but they may not. 

+ Don’t waste the time setting up the perfect “meditation” setting. I would spend fifteen minutes, setting up candles, incense, finding the perfect music playlist, cushions, blankets, etc. And as you can imagine, this became such the production that I didn’t want to take the time to do it. Meditation seemed like such a big task because I thought that was what it had to be. 

+ You don’t have to meditate for an hour. I’ve been doing ten minutes, you could choose only to do it for five. Then if you want to do twenty minutes, thirty minutes — go for it. But don’t think you have to do it for a big chunk of time. 

+ I thought I needed to sit in perfect silence, not a thought in my mind for the entire time, and that if I started thinking about stuff that I had failed. But what I’ve learned is to let the thoughts come in when they do, don’t judge them, just acknowledge that they came to the surface, and then let them float away. 

+ Meditating in the morning works better for me. If I try to do it before bed (I’ve done multiple times) I will fall asleep. I mean, it works really nicely to apply those techniques of breathing and such to your bedtime routine, but to actually get from meditation what I want (setting myself up for the day) I have to do it in the morning. 

+ I never thought  I would like a guided meditation. I thought it would be too distracting. But I discovered the app Headspace, and it has completely changed how I meditate. In fact it’s the only reason I’ve been able to do it consistently every day. This isn’t a sponsored post (I wish), but you can get the first 10 day pack for free. But after that I paid for the yearly subscription because I could see the benefits even after a few days. 

It has been an amazing addition to my morning routine. I love allowing myself enough time in the morning to write my morning pages, meditate, do a quick tidy, and make breakfast before starting in on my work for the day. 

I encourage you to give meditation a go if, like me, it’s something you’ve been wanting to try for awhile.  

Don't Be Scared into Taking Hormonal Birth Control

It’s almost a right of passage to get on hormonal birth control these days. 

Not to mention it’s touted as a fix all cure for females.

Do you suffer from acne, irregular cycles, cramping, heavy periods, a fear of pregnancy — easy, just take the pill!

It’s handed over without any real warning of the possible negative side effects. Or I know it was for me, back in 2009. 

Now, I’m not telling everyone to go and throw out there hormonal birth control. But if you are fed up with the negative side effects, looking for a natural alternative, or curious about what else is out there — there are non-hormonal options that no one really talks about. 

And if you have recently come off HBC, or are ready to, but now find yourself seconding guessing your decision because of all this news about how every woman in America should go out and get an IUD — screw that. 

I understand that this is coming from a place of concern for women’s reproductive rights starting in 2017, but I don’t think it’s fair women are being scared into something that might not be right for them.

Now, if you are a lady who is on hormonal birth control and has no desire to change that any time soon, then sure, go out and get that IUD. You do you, boo. 

But if you don’t fall into that category, listen here.

There is an incredible community of women across the country and around the world who are supporting one another through love, understanding and knowledge. 

I am part of that community, and if you’re reading this you’re also a part of that community. 

I am here to support you, to share everything I know with you so you can make the best decision for yourself.

My goal is informed choices. I think the choices should be available to every woman, but that the necessary information should also be available so women can make informed decisions. These two things need to go hand in hand. 

If you want to start (or keep) using FAM as your birth control method of choice, I am here to support you with that decision. It has been an empowering choice I have lived with for over three years.

And once I got past those first few weeks of initial fear and wondering if I had made the right decision quitting the pill, I have never looked back.

It is such a freeing thing to be in control of your own fertility, and to basically put your middle finger up to those trying to take away women’s rights.

This is the time to come together as a community, to support and love one another with the decision we want to make. 

If you find yourself in this position of being scared about your fertility options going forward I am here for you. 

I invite you to email me, head to my contact page to send me a message, or comment on this post, and I will do my best to keep up with your messages.

I may not have all the answers, but I promise I can help instill a bit more confidence in yourself. And love — I’ve got plenty of that for you. 

Abnormal Pap Smear | A Year Later

Last year was my first annual exam that I had had in three years. Yes, I know, that was bad of me, but for whatever reason I quit the pill and then just kind of forgot about them. 

But, last year I went in and had to get a pap smear along with my other exams because here in the U.S. you are supposed to get a pap smear every three years. 

Well, a week or so later I got a call from a very sweet lady letting me know that my pap smear had come back abnormal. 

Automatically, CANCER popped into my mind, but I calmed myself and asked her what that meant. Turns out finding abnormal cells on your cervix is more common than most people know. I was told that I would have to get a pap smear at my following two annual exams to keep an eye on my cervical cells, but that was about it. 

After getting off the phone with her I burst into tears because it was just a really weird, somewhat scary experience. But it wasn’t long after that I decided I needed to make a video to share that experience with others. 

I had made a vlog of my annual exam, and so I made a follow up video talking about the fact that my pap had came back abnormal. I got a lot of warm wishes and me too’s. 

And then I just sort of pushed it to the back of my mind because I had a whole year to kill that I really didn’t want to spend worrying about it. 

October rolled around and somewhere in there I started thinking about my upcoming exam (in November) and worrying about it. 

I made another little vlog this month to share my emotions and thoughts going into and coming out of the appointment. I was basically told that if there was something I would get another phone call in 7-10 days, if it was something that needed to be addressed quickly I would probably get a call in 3-4 days. Well, today marks two weeks since my appointment, and I was told that no news was good news. I still haven’t called in to confirm that my pap came back normal this year, but I’m feeling very relieved. 

It was a scary experience, but it has been a worthwhile one at the same time. And through sharing it online I was able to help calm other ladies going through the same thing, as well as be calmed by other women. 

Just another example of why it is important to share your stories ladies! 

I Can't Imagine Giving Up My Period

There is a lot of talk about getting rid of your period, whether that’s taking a certain form of birth control or skipping the placebo/“fake period" week of the form you are taking.

And I get why there are so many women out there that want to make it go away. But today I wanted to share why I can’t imagine giving up my period, and not having it anymore. 

You see, I used to hate my period just as much as the next girl. 

Before I had it, I wanted it to come. I begged it to come, worrying that I was some infertile freak who was different from her friends. 

But it wasn’t long after I finally got it (hooray!) that I was quickly sucked into the culture of hating it, complaining about it, and thinking it was oh so unfair that I had to deal with this thing every month and boys didn’t. 

It wasn’t until I quit the pill, started learning about, and practicing FAM, and finally got my real cycle back that I started to, dare I say, fall in love with my period. 

So, here are 10 reasons why I can’t imagine giving it up:

+ My period is such a good indicator of my health — mental and physical. Seriously, your period and menstrual cycle is like a canary in a goldmine. 

+ My period reminds me to take some time each month to slow down and reflect, which is much needed in today's culture of go go go.

+ It connects me to the greater female population. As soon as I say I’m in the business of talking about periods, women will shuffle up to me to ask about anything from menstrual cups to sharing their birth control experience. 

+ I wouldn’t get to try out fun period products. Cups, sponges, reusable pads, period underwear, fertility computers. Whoosh, out the window! No more of those. 

+ My cycle gives me a boost of motivation, energy and "social-ness” around ovulation. Seriously, I feel like a superhero that can take on the world. 

+ I wouldn’t be as creative or as inspired. I know because I used to be there. It was called college, and there I was scraping along doing just above the bare minimum, lost in a world of wondering what to do with my life. 

+ FemmeHead, which is a huge part of my life, wouldn’t be a thing. What would I do with my days?!

+ I wouldn’t have been able to heal my body image issues if I hadn’t gotten my real period back. Because I didn't let myself realize I had them in the first place. 

+ There would be no more mittelschmerz! One of my favorite words, and how excited I imagine pregnant women feel with their baby kicks (probably not quite that excited, but I do get a real rush of “cool!” when it happens). 

+ I feel bad for guys because they don’t get to experience the different phases of a cycle, and they can’t grow a tiny human from scratch inside of them. And without my period and my cycle, I wouldn’t get to either. 

In the end, we all have our reasons for loving or hating our periods. But today I challenge you to start taking a different perspective on your cycle. Especially if you’ve been brought up in a culture, like me, where there is so much embarrassment and anger surrounding our periods. 

I Meditated For 10 Days In A Row + What I Realized

One of my first days back from France, I was home alone working away on FemmeHead. I had cooped myself up all day so I decided to go outside on my long board since it was such a nice day out (and we’re creeping ever closer to the awful months of winter). 

It was a nice ride, but I remember coming back with this real sense of anxiety and stress in my chest, and I just remember thinking "I need to meditate". 

I had heard of an app called Headspace (no this is not a sponsored post, I wish). I decided to download it and give it a go. 

Ten minutes, I thought. I can do this.

I felt light years better afterwords. The anxiety had lifted from my chest and and felt a renewed sense of calm. So, I challenged myself to do the 10 free days of meditation in a row. 

I mean, honestly, who doesn’t have ten minutes out of their day to spare?

So, I began fitting it into my morning routine. 

+ wake up

+ write my morning pages

+ tidy for 15 - 30 minutes

+ meditate for 10

+ make a coffee/tea

+ make my to-do list

+ get started on work

On the morning of the tenth day I was sitting at my computer writing my Monday email for FemmeHead, and I could feel myself being pulled towards the red chair, pulled towards those ten minutes of calm.

Before these ten days I would meditate sporadically, never consistently. I thought I had to set up this sacred space (candles, intense, calm music, cushions, blankets and darkness) before I could begin meditating. And I thought I needed to do it for a long period of time.

As you can probably guess, because of this meditation always seemed like such a time consuming hassle that I rarely did it, which is a shame. 

What I’ve learned from these ten days is that I don’t need a sacred, pristine space. I can simply just sit down in the chair or lie down on the couch. 

There are no rules, I let my preconceived notions of meditation float out the window. 

It counts even if it’s just ten minutes, hell, even just one minute. 

I never thought I would like guided meditations. I thought I just had to sit there and keep my mind blank for 20 - 30 minutes, and that would work for me. 

At the end of my tenth meditation I went online and subscribed to a year long subscription, realizing that having someone guide me along is what I need at this point in my life, and there’s nothing wrong with that. 

I was having a rough day last week, and I found the calm I needed in that moment, in my breath. Yes, in simply just counting my breaths, 1 through 10 and starting over at 1 when I had reached 10. 

For at least a year now I’ve been drawn towards meditation, just knowing that it was something that would be really, really good for me. But I could never stick with it. Thankfully, I’ve found my solution for now. 

And my biggest take away — there is no right or wrong way to meditate. Let go of your preconceived notions of what it is supposed to do and find what works for you.